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The Boy and The Bird - Comments
I appreciate your advice, But I don't use Fictionpress. And It has everything go do with The Walking Dead, I just haven't posted those chapters yet
I'm kind of curious why this is on a Walking Dead fanfiction site, as this has nothing to do with that. It's not irritating, it just doesn't make much sense. I'd suggest moving this to FictionPress. You can put whatever you want on there and anyone, even those who are not members of that site, can comment on it. I would also suggest (if you want to do that) is make an author's note chapter, saying you're posting any and all chapters on FictionPress.
Aside from that, I feel like the goverment theme may later on give it a sort of Hunger Games-style feel to it. And that may good, depending on what you wanna do for the plot. I hope we get to see more later on with Jesse's backstory and how her family reacted to it, along with the other protagnists as well, if you wanted to. It kind of reminds me of X-Men a bit, only you've said the goverment wants to CONTROL mutant humans, versus ban them. As far as writing style goes, other than some grammar things, I'd say it's a 9/10. As for story, I think of it as an 8/10, because the government people seem nice at the moment versus evil. Of course, we've only seen the first chapter. I'm sure we'll see examples and dialogue from characters on their evilness later on, so I'll save my voting 'til later on either here or FictionPress.
Good luck, sweetheart x
@thewalkerinme
Actually, I'm working in the first five chapters! I apologize It may be awhile before I update. I have a project due in Feburary. I would say I will update around late Feburary or early March.
This story!!!!! It's cool!! Can't wait for more! PS Jesse looks like an older version of my character O_o
@Jbmediazz
I actually used to read those! And I knew I wanted a character with wings. At first, Libby's name would've been Bella. She originally had brown hair and butterfly wings. But I found my old graphic novel and I changed her completely. I based her off Angel in Maximum Ride. But like an older verison. :)
@CarlGrime'sGirl
I JUST saw your response, sorry! Yeah, hopefully, we'll get to see those chapters someday :)
12/2/15