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Of Better Angels

The Better Angel

“They’re all at the arena this way!” Merle called out, as the two brothers led, Rick, Maggie and I through Woodbury. “You aren’t going anywhere with us!” Rick barked while keeping an eye out. “You really wanna do this now!” Merle yelled, I kept my mouth shut and followed, I didn’t like it either but right now we just needed to get out of here and into the woods. We stood a better chance with just the walkers than with these crazy people. Merle ran up to the wall barricade and with her metal nub and blade attachment began to break a whole into it. I stood in between Maggie and Daryl, as soon as Merle busted the hole big enough he jumped through, then Maggie, then me. “Come on rick let’s go!” Daryl called as the two men hopped through as well. Merle was already on the other side killing off walkers who had gathered around attracted to all the noise. He was bashing ones skull into the ground. “A little help would be nice!” he called, Daryl quickly lifted his crossbow and began picking a few off. I locked and loaded my Riffle and began to fire “save your arrow Daryl!” I called out walking up next to them “you’re going to need those until you can fashion some more” I added as I did so Maggie walked up to me and shot two more walkers. “We ain’t got time for this!” Merle called out. Daryl ran ahead of Maggie and I and once gain grabbed my hand “let’s go!” he called looking back at us all before running to catch up with Merle, practically dragging me behind him like a rag doll.

We ran through the dark as quietly as we could dodging the walkers who were now hell bound for Woodbury. The burning across my back felt worse now that the adrenalin was wearing down and my legs left like noodles below me, “you ok?” Maggie asked running alongside me behind Daryl who was still dragging me behind him, out of breath I simply nodded a bit but it was obvious she did not believe me in the least. “Just tired that all” I managed, her eyes when to my shirt which was lashed open in the back. “What?” she asked “I don’t know” I said hurriedly “just leave it for now” I said and we continued to run in silence. We made it past the Cabin, and ran right by the horrible remains of the man we had so mercilessly pushed out into the walkers. I felt my stomach turn at the site of the carcass and I felt the urge to throw up. “Come on we gotta keep going!” Daryl called tugging on me harder causing my legs which had halted to find motion again and run behind him. The night was silent yet I could still hear the chaos from Woodbury even at the great distance were where now from it. “We can’t afford to stop, I know your tired just hold on a bit” Rick said to us falling back a bit. I groaned but kept up the pace.

Dawn came and we were still sprinting through the forest, the street came into view and I could see the car on the road. “Glenn!” Rick called his voice hoarse and fading from running so far “Glenn he called again. “Rick?” I heard Glenn call, “Rick?!” he called out more frantic this time “Glenn!” Rick called “Rick! Oh thank god!” Glenn called Rick held out his hands as he and Daryl took the lead of the pack “wait! Glenn we got a problem!” Rick called out as Michonne ran up behind Glen with Pliny. As Soon as Merle came into view joy turned to Rage “what the hell is he doing here!” Glenn roared pointing at Merle, Michonne raised her Katana in the air with a snarl on her face. “Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Rick called Holding Michonne back, Maggie tried her best to hold Glenn back as well “Enough!” Rick called to Michonne “Stop!” Daryl called out Merle training behind him looking slightly amused with the site. “He tried to kill me!” Michonne said holding out her katana in front of her “what?” I hissed whirling around to face Merle and Daryl, now I know for sure he was truly the one who beat down Glenn he’s hurt two of those I considered family. While I still felt for Daryl’s situation, Merle needed to pay some kind of way. Everyone roared into a large argument, Daryl stood before Merle protectively, as Glenn looked like he wanted to murder him. Rick held a gun to Michonne just to keep her away. I glared at Merle as he taunted them both “shut up you bastard! Or I’ll kill you myself!” I yelled taking out my throwing knives “Bree No! Put those damn things away!” Daryl called out to me. “Hey! Put that thing down now” Rick demanded darkly to Michonne, Get that gun out of my face” Daryl said while lunging at Glenn slightly his hand balling into a fist. Glen who was holding out his gun now as well. Merle laughed at this “man looks like you’ve gone native brother!” Merle called out “man shut up!” Daryl barked back at him turning to face him “no more than you hanging out with that psycho back there!” He raged on Merle seemed content with the whole situation “oh yeah man he’s a charmer” Merle said gaining everyone’s attention. “Been put in the woods with your girlfriend Andrea big time baby” Merle said, I glared at him, it figured she would go for a type like the Governor. “Andrea’s in Woodbury?” Glenn asked shocked “I know had the same reaction…” I muttered. Michonne ran at Merle with her Katana but Rick pushed her back “I told you to drop that!” Rick called “hell she doesn’t have to kill ‘em just let her hack off the other arm…or his balls” I called out, Daryl looked at me as if I had went insane “hey I only help you save him because It was for you” I said to him. Daryl looked at me dully. “Ah what the two of you have a love affair or something? The three of you all cuddle up out here in this here forest?” Merle asked “keep your mouth shut Merle!” Daryl called “oh protective or you Egyptian Princess? Don’t like the idea of her cuddled up with that Nubian Queen and Cinderella back there?” Merle said with a chuckle. “Oh believe me my girls are fine…but that’s not our game, you perverted son of a bi-“ “Bree!” Rick yelled at me shutting me up. “When I found this here one and Andrea they were near death” Merle said. “So is that why Andrea is with him?” Maggie said “yeah snug as two little bugs in a rug” Merle said. “She always had a thing for the crazy ones” I muttered. “So what you going to do now sheriff huh?” Merle asked. “Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cons!” Merle said a larger smile came to his face “oh boy look at this” He said “all these guns and no bullets” He added.

“Shut up!” Glenn barked stepping towards Merle, Daryl rushed at him this time too, “man I said shut up!” he called Merle was laughing harder now “baby brother you run with a bunch of pussies” He said “why don’t you listen to your ‘baby brother’ and shut the fuck up!” I growled “but why I’m just getting to the best part” Merle said walking closer to me “there was a man with ‘em, Russell was his name, pretty sandy blonde blue eyed, good ol’ boy” Merle said, I lost my words and my eyes fluttered, Daryl’s eyes darted over to me “Rus, Russell’s in Woodbury...he was in Woodbury” I said softly “crazy a loon too, told all about how his girl who was immune to the walker sickness… didn’t give up her name to the governor though…was such a shame…” he went on “ I raised my riffle this time and pointed it to his skull “ did he hurt him!?!” I yelled furiously Merle began to laugh, Daryl’s eyes went wide as he saw the white hot fury in my own “damn it! Tell me! Did he hurt him!?” I ordered cocking back the trigger ready to pull it. My hands shook. “Tell me!” My voice cracked and my weight shifted form one leg to another in little stomps wit was taking all I had not to blow his brains out. “Damn you, I said!” I started to yell at the top of my lungs. Rick seeing I was about to snap knocked Merle in the back of his head, knocking him out. Merle fell to the ground and Daryl rushed me. I hid my face in his neck and Screamed out in anger. “ I – he…he was….Woodbury, I – I, he didn’t give my name…he didn’t give my name, he’s still here he’s not all the way gone” I kept rambling “Daryl step back” Maggie called, Daryl let go of me and Maggie spun me around the next thing I knew, my face hurt like hell and I was looking completely the other way. I touched my face, tears slipped down my cheeks but I was brought back to reality. “Thank you Maggs” I said softly not bothering to look at anyone. Pliny was watching the scene utterly amazed and confused. “Asshole” Rick muttered glaring down at the knocked out Merle.

We gathered together to talk about the situation. “It won’t work” Rick said referring to Merle. “It’s gotta” Daryl said walking up to rick “The Governors probably on his way up to the prison right now” Daryl said. “gotta think we could use the muscle” He said, and he had a point. We did need all of the extra man power we could get, but Merle? “Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol, Beth….Bree” Glenn said, Daryl grimaced “he ain’t a rapist” He said flatly. “But the Governor is” Glenn said Daryl looked at Rick “but they ain’t buddies anymore not after last night” Daryl said. “there is no way Merle is going to live there without putting everyone at each other’s throats” Rick said, “jus’ look at what he turned us into out here” I muttered softly. Daryl glanced back at me briefly. “So you gonna cut merle loose and bring God Save the Queen with us?” Daryl said turning to Pliny. “He is not coming with us” Rick said. “he’s not in a state to be on his own…but Pliny and Michonne are still injured” Maggie cut in “and He did bring you guys to us” Glenn added in quietly “let him stay with us at least until my dad’s fix him up” Maggie asked “we can’t risk it” Rick said. “What’s right we don’t know who he is…. Merle, Merle’s blood” Daryl said “No” Glen said “Merle is your blood, My Blood, my family is standing right here, waiting for us to go back to the prison” Glenn said. I looked up a bit trying my damnedest to snap out of my zone. “And you’re part of that family” Rick said to Daryl, Daryl looked at Rick skeptically “but he’s not” Rick said “he’s not” I frowned and sat up “…but” I said slowly “and don’t get me wrong…” I added “that’s not all the way correct…If Daryl’s apart of us…and Merle’s his blood….and yet Merle isn’t a part of us….” I muttered however no one heard me “man ya’ll don’t know” Daryl said glancing over at Merle who was waking up. It got quiet.

“Fine” Daryl said Glancing back at me “we’ll find for ourselves” He said “no you don’t understand what I was saying” Glenn said quickly “No him no me” Daryl said. I stood up all the way. “Daryl you don’t have to do that” Maggie said her eyes darting from me to him as my posture changed quickly. I stood behind Daryl out of his view with a look of disbelief. “You don’t understand it was always Merle and I before this” He said I watched him speechless. Maggie’s eyes continued to dart between me and Daryl, as if she was waiting for me to burst. “Don’t” Maggie said “are you serious?” Glenn asked it seemed we were all taken aback by this. “You just going to leave like that?” Rick asked his eyes darting form me to Daryl to. “It’s the same thing” Daryl said. “And Carol?” Glenn asked “She’ll understand” Daryl said. It got quiet. Everyone looked at him in awe, he was serious, he was really serious. “Say goodbye to your pop for me” He said pushing by everyone to head off for Merle. “You can’t be serious!” Glenn called. “Daryl!” Rick called after looking over our distraught and unbelieving faces “hey, hey!” He called causing Daryl to stop. Rick jogged over to him “there’s gotta be another way.” He said. “Don’t ask me to leave him again I already did that once” He said pushing past Rick.

“We started something last night you realize that?” Rick asked as Daryl kept walking, he followed. My feet felt like lead I was stuck where I stood. Maggie laid a hand on my shoulder I just shook my head. Mouth slightly ajar. Glenn glanced at me and then to Maggie with a heavy sigh. “So no him no me” I heard Daryl say. “That’s how it’s going to stay” He said in a flat tone. Rick looked stunned as he watched Daryl load his stuff out of the car. I could feel my heart starting to race again as I bit my lip. “Take care of yourself” Daryl said “take care of little ass kicker” He added “and Carl that’s one tough kid” Daryl said making to walk away “what about Bree?” Rick asked in a last ditch effort. Daryl halted in his tracks, I looked up as he turned back to look at me. Rick nodded for me to go over to them. I bit my lip harder and forced my feet to find movement. “Well hell, come with us” Daryl said to me as I halted at Ricks side. I ripped my teeth out of my lip and went to speak but all that came out was air. “No them” I said with a unsteady voice “No me” I said my voice faded and cracked as water stung my eyes. Daryl breathe din sharply and took a step back. “So that’s how it’s going to be?” He asked. “I don’t having any more blood left on their earth Daryl…Carol, Maggie, Rick, Beth, Glenn, Hershel, Carl….the Baby…Michonne…they are my family because water is all I will ever have” I said my sadness turned to anger. “It’s always been you a Merle….right…three years, three years we’ve been at your side, Daryl…” I said he went to open his mouth “shut up! Let me finish damn it!” I yelled. “I know you didn’t leave him by choice….but Merle ain’t done nothing for you that we haven’t done tenfold!” I yelled, tears unwillingly leaked form my eyes, first it started with one eye then the other, and then they wouldn’t stop. “I- I….” I knew what I wanted to say, but was it even worth saying, this final acts had confirmed it all for me, everything, and I didn’t want to believe it, I bit down on my lip hard, trying to keep the words inside, blood trickled down my lip so the easiest thing to do was to say the opposite. “I hate you do much” I whispered, opening my eyes I glared at him as hard as I could, if I pretended to believe this it would make the truth go away and the pain would go away with it. “And you don’t even care! Like hell Carol would understand!” I yelled “you Bastard!” I yelled slapping him across the face so hard I turned his head. As much hate as I tried to pour out, the tears streaming down my face would tell a different story. “you leave now and you probably won’t ever seen any of us again…you know that…you’d give up this large family…something you’ve never known, and Love, Purpose, and home you’ve never know.” I called pointing to Merle “for that piece of chicken shit out there!” I called out, Daryl stayed quiet. “Then go…go and don’t come back…we don’t want you, if you don’t want us…who needs you” I said my voice reduced to a whisper.

I turned too walked away but stopped. I took my new riffle off of my back and threw it to the ground. “Take it with you…I don’t want it” I said walking past him to the car, I got inside. It. Michonne who was already in that back brought me into her arms, a cried but no sound came out and I was grateful for it. Maggie sprinted towards the car and quickly got in the back seat with us, latching her arms around me as well. Daryl looked at the car before walking off “Merle!” He called going to meet them. The sound of Merle’s name made the pain cut deeper. Pliny, Rick, and Glenn stood outside of the car, Rick and Glenn through their weapons in the back and leered at Pliny “we patch you up and then you are gone” Rick hissed. With that they all hopped in the car and we headed back towards the prison. I never took me face out of Michonne’s shoulder, I could feel everyone looking at me, and my pride just couldn’t take it anymore. As we headed down the road, a fallen tree had blocked the road with a red truck. Rick, Maggie and Glenn got out to clear it. “I need air” I muttered to Michonne before stepping out of the car. As I did so I saw Glenn bashing a walker’s face in with his foot. Maggie and Rick watched unsure of how to take it. “You didn’t kill him” Glenn said clearly pissed off. “That’s not why we went back” Rick said. “No, no that’s right you went back for Daryl” Glenn said I flinched at his name “and now he’s gone again and the governor is still alive!” Glenn said, “Daryl was the main priority” Rick said calmly “I should have been there” Glenn said bitterly “you were in no condition” Rick tried to reason, but Glenn only became more upset “But my girlfriend was!” Glenn raged “Glenn this isn’t about us” Maggie said quickly “I should have been there!” He said again “Hey you didn’t come back with us because you could barely walk!” Rick called out. “What about here!” He yelled pointing at Maggie, “Do you know what he did to her!” He yelled even louder. “Glenn leave it alone, let’s go!” Maggie called going to the red truck ready to move it, but Glenn just stormed off a ways but came back to Rick “after all the effort after all the risk we took…Daryl just storms off with Merle” He said, I flinched again. Rick looked over to me cautiously. “He had his reasons” Rick said simply “yeah well keep telling yourself that rick!” Glenn shot back “did doesn’t make up for the fact that we’re up to our necks in shit!” he barked this made Rick mad “you want me to turn the car around beg him to come back, throw down the welcome mat to Merle!” Rick yelled “this is the hand we’ve been dealt!” He added. Maggie looked over to me and sighed “let’s just get his out of here and get back” she said tiredly, rick took one last glance at Glenn before going over to help Maggie. “Get some rest…and we can talk it out there” she added “you guys do all the talking you want I’m done” Glenn said dryly.

We finally made it back to the prison, Carl and Carol rushed to open the gates for the car. Rick hopped out of the car and ran to his son. “Drive them up I’ll meet you there” He instructed Maggie. Carol looked in the car, I still had my face hidden in Michonne’s shoulder, and he seeing Daryl missing from the car, the scene wasn’t something she could stay calm about. “Where’s Daryl?” she asked quickly “he’s alright he’s alive” I heard rick tell her before we rode off. When we got inside, Michonne, Maggie and Beth rushed me past the new group of people that were sitting in the prison common room. “She looks a mess what happened to her?” I heard one of the men asked as they rushed me by. “Beth just shook her head. I walked up the stairs of our cell block and flopped down on my bunk of what was now solely my cell. My body felt numb, I felt like I was shutting down. I zoned out, I had forgotten how long I had been laying there, I briefly heard the baby crying, and I didn’t even flinch. I just gazed at the top of the bunk over me aimlessly, just trying to breathe even. “I always wanted a Child” I just barely heard Beth say. “She never would have made it if Daryl hadn’t been here” she added, the sound of his name hit my ears like rushing water. “He couldn’t stand to lose anybody else” she added I closed my eyes tightly. “Sounds like him” I heard Carol say softly. “I don’t see why he had to leave” Beth said “Merle sounds like a jerk” she added. “If only you knew I thought opening my eyes again there was a long pause “Men like Merle get into your head, make you feel like you deserve the abuse” Carol said darkly “Even for Daryl?” Beth asked. Carol sighed “I am hardly the woman I was three years ago but if Ed walked through that door breathing and told me to go with him I’d like to think I’d tell him to go to hell” Carol said “you would” Beth said “doesn’t matter Carol said quickly “we’re weak without him” Beth said, I finally flinched again “we’ll get through this too” Carol said dryly, she didn’t believe it any more than I did. “Tyreese and his friends seem capable” she added. “I’m pretty pissed at him for leavin’” Beth said “Daryl has his code, this world needs men like that” H could hear Carol muse. I wanted to throw up my insides and feed them to the walkers. The baby began to make noises and the two women had stopped talking

“Have you seen Bree?” I heard Carol asked “not since we rushed her up” Beth answered. It got quiet and I could hear Carol’s footsteps walking slowly towards my cell. I quickly closed my eyes. “Bree…dear?” she asked timidly, I kept my eyes shut. “I know you’re not sleeping” Carol said walking in. “Bree” she called softer sitting at my bed side. My lips were scared form biting into them so much, and it hurt like hell that I was doing it down. “You can be upset” she said gently “I was to and its ok” she added. I shook my head. “I’m not upset” I said my voice iced over but as I opened my eyes they were filled with water “I’m mad…and I’m mad as hell…I hate him” I said in a low voice. “Don’t say that you don’t either and I know that” She said brushing back my hair. “I do, I do, so, so much” I said as a tear released its self from my eye. She went to speak but I cut her off “what son of a bitch is no better than Merle! Or Shane! Or any other ass we’ve run into, I hate him” I muttered bitterly. “Bree” Carol whispered bringing be up and into a hug” I warp my arms under hers and around to her back, Grasping at her shirt for dear life. “I’m such an Idiot!” I said muffled into her. “no” she said softly “yes...yes I am, because he told me, he told back when we first got to the prison….and I let myself forgive him, I let myself…” I said losing my words. “I left myself” the words were caught in the back of my throat suck in a spidery web, weaved, of Hate, pain, pride, fear, rejection, loneliness, selfishness. This feeling felt like pure reprobation “say it” Carol said I shook my head “you need to say it and let it go” she said calmly rubbing my back. “I can’t” these words came out like a whimper of a wounded dog, or a bird who had fallen from a tree and snapped the bones of its wings. “shhhh, come now Bree trust me just as I needed to admit how I hated Ed…you need to admit your true feelings, you’ve said it once, long ago back near the start” she said. I flashed back to the first day Daryl and I got on more than just friendly terms, it was after he first kissed me by ways of letting me know why he always treated me so cruel, that he liked me more than he thought he should have. The Day after, we went out hunting together, it was something simple, we were just acting silly, He pinned me to the tree and I looked in his eyes, and the words just slipped out.

I drew myself out of the memories as it sent paint surging through my body, much like the feeling of being shocked over and over again. “I” I stammered. Gripping carol’s shirt tighter by now I had her whole shirt wet. “I…he….left me here…Russells gone, Woodbury has him, my children are gone, my family is gone..and he..he left me” I rambled. “And” Carol said barely above a whisper. “And I loved him, with everything I was” the words flew out like a caged Eagle waiting to fly free. “I hate him so much” I added after “so much” I cried. Carol held me tighter, and hide her face in my hair, I could feel her body shaking as well with her own tears. “It’s going to be ok” she said, but it was only because she could not find any other words for me.

Notes

This is not end of the story a friend read over it for me and said it sounded like it was, but it's not.

Once again inspiration for this chapter drawn form another one of Shakespeare's plays. From Othello. one I really love with all my heart. found in Act 5.

"Yea, curse his better angel from his side,
And fall to reprobation. "

this quote explains how Both Daryl and Bree have cast one another to the side, choosing sides. and in doing so causing one another, pain both are to proud to show. Placed in their own personal hells they have broken down in different ways.

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