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Mibba

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Of Better Angels

Bring Out Your Dead

I plopped down on the porch at the farm after getting the dogs their water, we had just returned for searching for Sophia. Glen came running from the stables, this cause Me, Dale, and Carol to stand up as he looked unsettled. Our party meet at the RV, as it was shared that Hershel was keeping Walkers in the Barn. Shane went in search of Dale whom after hearing about the barn made for the woods with all of the guns. I Helped Carol in the Kitchen, washing greens for dinner. “When Sophia returns, we should make a big dinner for her, she loved chicken strips I think we could manage to make those here…a nice change from the can food we had managed to save up from Atlanta” Carol said with a smile, I found a smile to offer her of my own. But my heart told me, this small dream would never happen. “Don’t you think?” Carol asked me, my heart sank. “yes Carol...I think it’s doable” I said trying not to side glance. She smiled; I put down the strainer and headed outside. Shane threw guns to Glen, Daryl, and Andrea.” What’s going on..” I asked approaching the group. “We’re going to take care of them walkers in the barn.” Shane said fired up “no are you trying to get us kicked out!” I called snatching his gun from him “Hershel’s head will explode if he sees us with these” I said Andrea rolled her eyes at me “Hershel is crazy! Ok, his opinion doesn’t really matter” She said speaking slowly as if I was stupid. “earth to Blondie….Its.his.farm.” I said exasperated and slightly portentously, she was still walking on glass after firing at Daryl. I was looking for a reason to get into with her, to be honest. She leered at me a shook her head.

As We stood in front of the barn, Rick came from the forest with Hershel, with them they held two walkers of catch polls. “oh lord he’s takin’ ‘em for walks” as I said this Daryl laughed “would you be surprised this ‘ol man must have lost his marbles long ago” He said shaking his head and heading towards rick. Shane exploded seeing this, “so you’re saving them now? Are they sick to you too?” He yelled at Rick, his eyes were dancing madly and he moved to and fro in Hershel and Ricks path.” These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us. ” Shane ranted his voice got louder and louder with every sentice and as he spoke her released a bullet into the walking Rick was controllings chest. Hershel watched with wide eyes. “damnit some one get a hol’ of him!” I called lokking to the others for help yet no one moved. “Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something. Can a living breathing person, could they walk away from this? “ Shane asked shooting Hershel’s walker in the chest as well. “No stop it!” Rick called panicking sure that Shane had ruined everything, I had to admit I was sure of it to, time to start packing. “That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, can they just take that? Why is it still coming? “ Shane called shooting it again “ That's its heart, its lungs. Tell me why is it still coming? Huh?” He yelled “Shane that’s enough!” Rick called out seeing a stunned Hershel who was speechless “ Yeah man you’re right” Shane muttered taking aim at the walkers head “that is enough” He said firing a shot, he killed Hershel’s walker before killing off ricks as well. Shane took off towards the barn at a great speed “what are you doing!” Rick called “damnit Shane just stop it all ready before you give the ol’man an heart attack or something!” I called out running after him, Daryl grabbed my arm and yanked me to him as Shane opened the barn doors, running back to us all. T-dog, Glenn, Andrea, Shane, Daryl, and Myself quickly lined up in what looked like a firing squad. As the zombies advanced we had no choice but to fire. One by one, bullet by bullet we picked off the walkers. Only one remained, My heart sank down to my toes as I saw little fingers graps the Barn door. A small frail framed walker stumbled out into the daylight. My riffle fell from my grasp as my hand shot to my mouth covering a scream. Sophia or what used to be Sophia inched towards us. Not a one of us could move, we where frozen. How long had she been in there, was she here the whole time, why didn’t Hershel tell us.

Carol fell to her knees, Daryl quickly caught her, holding her as she went to scream yet no sound came out. My body trembled slightly my mouth opened and closed but I could not form words. Rick walked ahead of us all, he slowly lifted his gun, the Shot seemed loud enough to ring across the world, Sophia fell to the ground, the impact of her body hitting the ground spurred the tear to fall from my eyes. A flash of memory played with my mind, The two perfect twins, with curly honey colored hair painted in blood, lay in the wet dirt in front of a backyard shed. I closed my eyes tightly and fell at Carol’s side pulling here away from Daryl I held her to me, hiding her face in my neck as she cried and shook, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Sophia. We had failed her.

That was the coldest night, we’ve ever spent at the farm, I sat in the middle of the field gazing at the forest, It was around 3am. Not an hour ago had I just got Carol calm enough to sleep. My heart ached, I wanted Sophia to be ok, I wanted her to spring up off the ground and yell that it was someone some childish prank, I wanted to have brought Sophia back to Carol alive as the joyful little child we had known her as. I wanted to Save Carol from a pain I knew all too well. But as Daryl once said, People in Hell want Slurpies. My eyes where fixed on the forest, we wasted so many days looking there, Sophia more than likely found the barn long before we found it, went in there for safety and walked into her doom. As much as I tried not to think about that, but I couldn’t help it “What are you doing still up?” Daryl asked dryly “same thing you are..” I mumbled “beating the shit out of myself mentally” I added glancing back at him. He didn’t have much to say to that, He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his head on top of mine. I shook him off and took off walking towards the tent. I wasn’t going to get any sleep but I could pretend.

The next morning I got up at 5 to makes sure Carol was ok, I fixed her Breakfast. When I went to the house I found Lori trying to tend of Beth, “what’s wrong with her?” I asked hovering over the teen girl, Lori shook her head “no clue” She replied looking lost on what to do. “Well where’s Hershel?” I asked dryly standing back up and heading to the door. “He left in the night…We’ve no clue where, we’ve assumed maybe he went to town but we don’t know much more than that” Lori explained I nodded. “Do you think you can Daryl could make a trip into town just to go see?” She asked I sighed heavily “sure I’ll go, not sure if Daryl’s up to it though….he ain’t been all the way right after…well” I said trailing off Lori nodded and followed me to him. “ Listen, Beth's in some catatonic shock. We need Hershel.” Lori said as we approached Daryl “yeah, so what” He replied dully. “So I need you to run in to town real quick and bring him and Rick back. Daryl, Rick left earlier in search for him and I’m sure that’s where they ended up, Glens down there with him too.” Lori said “yeah and I’m gon’ head up there to see if I can help” I chimed in, It wouldn’t persuade him much, more so make him think I’ve lost my own marbles. “ Your bitch went window-shopping. You want him? Fetch him yourself. I got better things to do. “ Daryl barked getting up and walking away. “the hell, what better stuff?” I asked his attitude was not needed right now, I knew he was hurt, but lashing out at someone whom needs you, isn’t the best idea. “What's the matter with you? Why would you be so selfish? “ Lori asked, Daryl stopped in his tracks, I flinched at Lori’s question, and looked to the ground. I wasn’t going to get into this one. “Selfish?” Daryl hissed lowly turning around he pushed past me and got into Lori’s Face “Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there looking for that little girl every single day. I took an arrow and a bullet in the process. Don't you tell me about getting my hands dirty! You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride. I'm done looking for people. “He yelled storming off the pushed past me again “oh and you” He said pointing at him, he looked mad but his eyes were hurt “thanks for defending me” He muttered sarcastically before storming off completely. I looked down at my feet “I’m..I’m jus’ gon’ head out know” I murmured walking off towards my truck. As I went to climb inside I was yanked roughly away from it “you’re not going anywhere” Daryl said dragging me away behind him forcefully “The hell you say! Let me loose!” I called struggling against him, but he was far stronger than I was and his grip was firm. “I’m not gonna watch you get killed, trying to go look for those fools out there in town, hell there’s three of them, if they can protect each other with three of them they deserve what even happens” Daryl said still frustrated, “but as far as I’m concerned you’re mine, you are the only one where I am responsible for and I’m not screwing that up” He continued, I stopped fighting “ Daryl I’m not your responsibility we’re all gonna die sometime, we’re just buying time, I mean after all we’re all kind of dead already anyway right? You can’t hold yourself at blame for the loss of anyone, Not me, Not Sophia, and Not Merle” as I said this he stopped and his hand went form my wrist to my hand, He held it tightly but said nothing. He was proud, and he was loyal and though he talked us all down from time to time, he cared about us all more than he even realized. “our job is just to survive and to do our best.” I stated. “all we can do is had each other back when it’s needed…even if we fail, we have to try, or else…we’ll never make it” I added, he didn’t move or say a word “but if it makes a difference, I’ll stay…I shouldn’t be leaving Carol alone anyhow…besides, it’s time for the funeral” I muttered walking ahead of him.

At Sophia’s funeral, Daryl and I had went to the lake and Picked a bushel of Cherokee roses, and laid them on her graved, I felt so numb after the burial reaching into my pocket I pulled out a bear claw I had, call it a lucky charm, Sophia used to like to hold it. Said it made her feel safer for some odd reason or another. I twirled it around din my fingers before playing it on her grave. “At least…at least you are away from all of this, you’re truly completely safe.” I muttered, Daryl scoffed “you tellin’ me you still believe in a god?” he ask incredulously “hell…it beats not believin’ in nothin’…you know…I’d rather dream of heaven…then nothing-ness or hell…I mean if that’s the case… I died a long time ago” I sighed walking off to go check on Carol whom never showed up.

Daryl was sitting at the tent playing with Boss, I stormed over to him, fuming, I snatched the stick he was playing fetch with from his hands. “What crawled up your panties?” He asked somewhat mad, but as his eyes landed on mine he stood up, “you…why’d you have to go bark at Carol like that, everyone morns in there own way, you had no right!” I yelled, Carol had told me Daryl went off on her before the funeral because she had refused to go. “ever think it might had been painful for her? Huh? Did ya!” I yelled trowing the stick to the ground “you so thick in the head sometimes, I can look at you, and you can look like an angel sent from heaven for me, Looking at you like your ten feet tall or somethin’” I yelled his eyes softend at this statement But I wasn’t done “ an’ then you go on and do something as stupid as this, and then I feel like a idiot for, thinking of you as such! Maybe Lori was right, maybe you do only see your own pain, maybe you are selfish, but damn keep it to yourself, we all hurt…all of us, we ain’t got no time to be walkin’ round butt hurt!” I yelled He looked mad, he looked like he wanted to slap me, or deck me in the jaw, he looked like he wanted to scream. Yet he staied silent, and leered at me darkly “that how you feel?” He asked, I caught my breath breathing heavily I managed to nod. He went into the tent and started chucking all of my stuff out “then feel that way, you don’t have to have nothing more to do with me” He said coldly throwing my cloths, riffles, knives, and random things into a pile. It took me a while to register what was happening. “go” He said after he had thrown everything out. “are you really going to act for childish….you’re a 27 year old man…almost 30, why don’t you act like it!” I yelled grabbing my stuff and heading for the house.

That night, Lori had gone missing as well, I was inside tidying up the living room, oddly enough it almost felt like life was the way it used to be while I was doing so, only difference, they weren’t there, and I knew they never would be again. I could over hear Daryl and Carol talking on the porch. He explained to her that Lori had asked him to go find Hershel and the others, how he refused. And how that’s probably where Lori went, He confessed his fight with me. Carol quickly stood up for me that being something he didn’t want to here he stormed off. I sighed and went to may shared room with Carol and grabbed my Riffles, Jessie and Becky and headed out the door. “what?” Carol asked as I strolled by her “where are you going?” She asked standing up after me “ I was going to go earlier to go look for Hershel and Rick, I let Daryl talk me out of if…If Lori’s out there I’ve got to find her, she would have found them by now” I said reaching the bottom of the stairs I looked back at Carol and Smiled “don’t worry mom I’ll be back by dinner” I said playfully before leaving to my truck as I walked by the tent I could feel his eyes on me, but I’ve gotten good at shutting down and ignoring whatever causing my extra pain. My goal as of now was to find Lori and nothing more.

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