Wolf in My Heart
Eva paced back and forth in front of the door to Carl’s room, her eyes never leaving him or Rick as she watched the boy’s cheeks turn pink with life and Ricks slowly but surely becoming pale. Lori had long fell silent from her rants about how it would be best to just let Carl slip away gently and not have him suffer this world. Eva had bit her tongue for the most part. “You’re just killing yourself” Lori sighed looking at Rick with Pleading eyes “let’s just have Hershel start the surgery.” She added. Rick shook his head “no, Shane and Otis have to be on their way back by now” He reasoned, “what if they aren’t coming back?” Lori asked. Eva stopping pacing and stormed into the room. “Shane’s coming back” she barked before turning to look at Rick as she went to open her mouth Lori grabbed her shoulder and whirled her around “I thought I told you I didn’t want you in here?” she asked bitingly Rick sighed in frustration “Lori I wanted her in here” He said Lori glanced at Rick and Narrowed her eyes at Eva. Eva her back turned to Rick, smirked at Lori with a Devilish haze in her eyes.
Eva turned back to Rick worry shimmering over that haze as she watched him wither. Hershel entered the room eyeing the angry women “Hershel, unhook Rick, I’ll take over” Eva said, Lori’s eyes darted between Rick and Eva “What does she mean she couldn’t do that? It has to be” Rick sighed and Lori stopped talking “Be the same blood type, Yes Eva shares the same blood type” Rick muttered tired and annoyed “This is why I wanted her to be his Godmother, for emergencies” Rick added Lori looked down at Rick flatly and shook her head “well you didn’t tell me that when you asked me about her being Godmother” Lori argued, “Oh he did” Eva said sitting down on the side of the bed holding out the arm with the biggest vein “You just don’t listen, in case you haven’t forgotten, I was there too” Eva spoke bitterly as she remembered that day. Carl had only been 3 months old…..
“Lori! Lori!” Rick called rushing through the front door to his home, Eva following silently behind him happy and sad all at once. Lori entered the living room from the kitchen bouncing Baby Carl gently in her arms, a proud mother. She smiled gently at Rick but her smile froze along with her eyes as Eva came into view. “Lori, Shane just had a wonderful Idea!” Rick called stopping to kiss his wife on the forehead. In those days Eva had not been so skilled at masking her pain, and flinched a bit. “What was it?” Lori said forcing a smile as she tore her eyes away from the other woman and to his husband. “Well, you see, We were thinking, Carl’s not got a God mother yet and since, Shane is his God father isn’t it only fitting that Eva be-” Lori became stone “No” she gasped quickly cutting Rick off. Rick deflated “Bu-but, why, why not? Lor she’s got the same blood ty-”
“But it’ll be good for….”
“Why not Lori” Rick asked completely frustrated by now, Eva sunk further and further into the background. She had known from the start this was going to go bad, but back at the bar, talking to Shane and Rick during their break, there was no convincing them their Idea wasn’t Brilliant. Of course that’s not to say she didn’t want to be Carl’s God mother, she wanted that more than anything else in the world. Well. Almost anything else. Eva looked up at Rick “Rick” she called but as she did so what she heard stung her ears “Because I do not want that woman in our family, she’s not good for us, and won’t be good for Carl” Lori bit, Eva exhaled and Rick turned around “E-Eva” He stammered Eva glared at Lori briefly before turning around and walking out the door, Sprinting down the stairs and up the block. “Eva!” Rick called running after her up she was already too far gone.
Eva blinked a few time coming back into the now, she winced as Hershel stuck the needle in her arm “you’re a small girl I’m not sure how much blood you can offer until they get back” Hershel warned. “As much as needed, drain me dry if that’s what it takes” Eva murmured lowly, Hershel glanced up at her “you sure?” He asked only for her to hear, Eva nodded “Eva” Rick called looking at her with serious eyes, Eva smiled “Shane is probably already on his way back. If anything He is still telling Otis a thing or two about what he thinks of him” Eva managed to laugh. Rick gave a tired fallen smile. “Thank you” he said standing he hugged her. “Go get some rest” Eva stated brushing a hand through his hair ruffling it, the action was so sweet yet so innocent it tittered on the fine line between friendly and intimate. Lori shifted her weight, wanting to say something, but afraid that she had already messed up to much already. “Please” Eva added softly, Rick nodded and gave her one more squeeze, “thank you” He choked. Eva wanted to melt there in his arms him bent over her she was filled with warmth. Against her will she pushed Rick away “now don’t go doing that!” she said playfully noticing the coming tears in his voice “go rest, it’s all going to be fine” she added, Rick nodded and Exited the room, Lori leered at Eva one last time before leaving.
Hershel looked down at Eva and sighed holding onto his suspenders “I don’t know what’s going on her and I don’t want to” He said as Eva looked up to him “But what you’re going for this boy, is noteworthy” He said “Something tells me it’s about time someone’s told you so” He added before leaving the room. Eva watched the old man go and looked to Carl, brushing his hair , she stopped and sighed, It was good to see the color come back to his skin. It gave her more hope that He would truly be alright.
It was now nearly 3 in the morning, everyone was sleeping, well Almost everyone. Hershel would scuttle in and out of the room to check up on Carl’s condition and Lori would enter in and out as well. Rick laid down on the sofa in Hershel’s living room but he could not sleep, his eyes had been glued to the door, to the side of him Patricia sat in a rocking chair knitting nervously, Jenner was awake in the guest room given to him, reading, unable to find rest, worried for Eva but he wasn’t alone as Andrea sat at his bedside for the same reasons. Alone in the RV Carol stood on the very edge of sleep as she wept for Sophia. The night was far too still, not even crickets sang. “Shane where are you” Eva muttered, glancing at the clock, she had started to pale, and was shivering. The lack of blood in her body had made her mind weaker and she was starting to notice, she was afraid, afraid for Carl, afraid for Shane, and Afraid for Rick.
3:30 now and Hershel entered the room with Lori following after him “We’ll have to unhook you and do the surgery now, any longer and you won’t make it, your body was tired before this, blood flow won’t be what kills you at this rate, I’ll be exhaustion” he said reaching for her arm “No I told you, you can drain me dry, it’s more dangerous for him to start without the needed supplies right?” Eva said firing up moving away from Hershel’s reach. “He’s doing well right now, He can hold out as long as I do, until I collapse or kill over, you’re not starting anything.” Eva glared her eyes darting between Lori and Hershel. “Shane’s is not out there risking his life for nothing, especially not this ungrateful!” Eva then sighed and closed her eyes, she had to be put together, and she had to remain calm. “I’m not moving and I won’t let you near this needle” she stated. Hershel nodded “what are you doing? Isn’t the choice mine?” Lori barked, whirling around to Hershel.
Hershel look at Lori with a hard gaze “when it comes to a life of a child, the one whom has the solution that will help lengthen it’s life is the one who has the choice” He stated simply before walking out of the room. Lori glared at Eva, she hated her, but if she wanted to throw away her life and it would save Carl’s, she was not going to protest. Let her. At the very least she would be out of her hair. It was more than she deserved.
3:54. Eva’s limbs trembled, her body felt stiff, her skin pasty, and her eyes dull. Her head ached and she was finding it hard to focus or keep her eyes open. “Just don’t seize up until he gets here” Eva demanded form herself. She looked at Carl her vision quivering.
“This way!, Hurry there isn’t much time left” She could hear Hershel speak as he was coming down the hall, a series of shuffling hurried footsteps behind his, heavy footsteps.Shane’s footsteps. Eva tried to get herself to stand, as they entered but she fell back onto the bed, she growled at herself in frustration. “Don’t” Rick said to her as she geared herself up to try again. “Eva” Shane called Hershel carefully removed the needle from her arm as Shane gathered her in his arms and held her. “I told those block heads you guys were coming back” She said weakly, Shane tensed. They hadn’t come back, not Otis, but he wasn’t going to tell her that now. He was glad he was able to keep his promise and he did what he had to do to get it done. Shane brushed her hair and inhaled it’s sent “I made a Promise” He muttered, “come on, we gotta get you down somewhere” He said. Eva kicked her legs in protest “No I need to be here” she fought back in vain as Shane had already walked out of the room “you’ve done more than enough” He said, caring her out through the Living room and two the front porch. Patricia sat on the sofa with Maggie, weeping, Maggie tried her best to sooth her, but nothing was coming of it. Eva caught a glimpse of this before passing out.
Shane sat one the swinging porch chair, Eva in his lap, he rested her head against his chest, and played with her hair. His breathing fell into stride with hers as she breathed calmly resting her hands latched to his shirt tightly. “I did bad things back there Eva” He muttered quietly into her hair. Eva’s eyes fluttered and her ears pricked “I can’t any one it just had to be done” As Shane spoke flashes bright bursts of Imagery came into his mind, and Otis’ screams. “There wasn’t anything else I could do,” He reasoned with himself. Eva pulled back from him rubbing her eyes “anything else you could do?” she grumbled groggily. “Eva” Shane breathed. She looked up at him smiling, and against her will her eyes started to well up. “It was so late, far to late, and Lori said” She rambled touching his face, she rubbed it tenderly with her thumb. “But I knew better” she added calmly looking him over she drew back her tears. “You look awful” she breathed Shane laughed “gee thanks honey” he said rolling his eyes “No I’m serious” Eva said her eyes scanning his body.
He was covered in nasty swipe marks from the grubby hands of walkers, he had a few bruises on his left side, and a bit of blood trickled from the top of his head. His shirt was all ruffled out of shape and untucked from his jeans. “What happened out there?” She asked looking back into his eyes. Shane glanced away from her, could he lie to her? Or rather could he tell her the truth? “Shane?” Eva asked cautiously resting a hand on his chest “What happened?” she asked. Shane sighed and brushed her hair back “I just did what needed to be done, to make sure Carl would be ok” He said in a stern voice, begging to be believed but more so he wanted to believe himself. Eva searched his eyes and her own clouded over as she nodded stiffly she leaned into him and hugged him resting her hand behind his head, she held him to her “Otis” she whispered in Shane’s ear “didn’t come back did he, that’s why Patricia and Maggie” Eva paused and Shane nodded his breathing became ragged and his body shook as he held her back. “Its ok” she cooed stroking his hair “It’s ok, It couldn’t be helped right?” She asked, Shane nodded into her “right, then it’s okay…he” Eva paused and closed her eyes, there is no way he shared this with the others, it was just like a summer night so long ago. It was going to the grave. “He died valiantly…he gave his life so you could return with the supplies…he did it for Carl, to clear his name” Eva murmured, Shane melted under her tender touch and gentle tone, Nodding.
“Come one” Eva said offering a smile as she touched his cheek and made him look up at her. Leaning in she gave him a caring kiss “let’s patch you up, wash all that grime off” she said with a light smile. “You’re back and Carl’s going to be ok, that’s all I care about.” She said sliding off of his lap taking his hand she tugged telling him to stand and follow. The house was dark, now even the light to Jenner’s room was out, Patricia and Maggie were long gone. Eva lead Shane past the room were Hershel was preforming the surgery with Beth’s help. As much as Eva would have gladly left Shane to wallow in his thoughts and go inside, she knew the battle with Lori would be far greater than he exhausted body could handle. “The guest bath is this way, the waters even hot here…place runs on gas” she said, allowing Shane to enter in before her, she looked around before closing the door behind them.
Eva turned the old fashioned Ivory nobs of the shower, with a light squeak the water came rushing from the shower head. Shane locked the door and walked to Eva, she effortlessly plucked free the buttons of his over shirt, the popped free with the lightest touch, Eva smirked to herself, if she was good at nothing else, she was good at undressing a man. Shane Slid off the over shirt and let it tumble to the ground. Eva grimaced as the walker blood had seeped through to the undershirt leaving sickening brown patches. “Ugh” she grunted taking the bottom of his shirt, she carefully rolled it up, standing on her tip-toes she lifted the shirt up Shane’s arms and off of his head, she quickly tossed it to the ground.
Shane rolled his neck around and flexed his back muscles in a chain reaction every muscle in his upper body rippled subtly. Eva exhaled and inhaled sharply a handful of steam, slowly but surely the room was filling up with it. Condensation ran off, Shane’s shoulders rolling down his chest and abs. Eva shook her head, and went to unbuckle his belt. “pull yourself together, even if you wanted to you are both to damn exhausted” she muttered to herself, Shane chuckled and played with her hair “speak for yourself” He said looking down at her goofily as she glanced up at him. She couldn’t help but laugh at the silly face, she shook her head and threw his belt to the ground. “ha ha, I see you’re feeling perfectly fine undress yourself!” she said with a giggle, before gathering his shirts in her arms. “Why? You were getting to the best part?” He asked, Eva rolled her eyes, stopping up the sink she turned on the cold water.
“Because I have to save these shirts, that’s why” she answered, she head the thud of his pants hitting the ground. “I gives a rat’s ass about those shirts” Shane mumbled as if he was almost sulking. Eva placed the shirts into the cold water and the blood slowly leaked into the water. “Yeah you’ll be thankful in the morning, now just get in” Eva said pointing to the square glass walled shower, smiling to herself as she heard the glass close. She worked the shirts in the cold water pouring in a bit of hand soap before turning around she walked to the glass door. With a tired sigh she pulled her tank over her head, and shimmied free of her shorts, a few quick movements and she was loose of her bra and her panties lay on the ground, sliding the glass door she enter the shower.
“Do you want me to lather or rinse?” she asked as Shane let the water fall over his head and through his hair. “Lather” he said passing her a bottle of shower gel. Eva poured the quarter sized dose in her palms and rubbed them together until she got a coconut scented foam. She slid her hands over and around his shoulders, down his chest, stomach, up his arms. Applying enough pressure to gently message his body’s tired muscle. Lower now she worked her way down his legs, Shane shivered as her touch around his Thighs, sensitive rarely touched skin. Eva smirked and chuckled as she lathered up his calves, they were so much thicker than even her own. “you’ve got some monsters down here” she chuckled, Shane shook his head “you just rolled your lovely little hands down my chest, Across my Dick and through my thighs, and you comment on my calves ” he said amused, Eva rolled her eyes and “You’d better be careful, I still need to get your backside, things happen” she said mischievously. Shane chuckled and shook his head. Eva touched his ankle causing him to wince. “Ah” he grunted “It’s twisted” she muttered messaging it. Shane closed his eyes, once the pain faded away he and his ankle were grateful for the tender touch.
Eva Re-lathered her hands, and rolled the soap onto Shane’s back. His body relaxed under her touch. “When’d you get so good at this?” He asked in a trace “You know, Shady Strip clubs , always have a back room, were the girls do a little more than dance” she said pausing as she worked a knot out of his shoulder blade. “I took massage therapy classes when I found out about this, for one it gets you out of having to go down on a guy back there. And for another” Eva sighed “It’s not all as scandalous as you’d think, that back room. Many of the men just want to talk, whine, and cry. Some used to come in so tense. Your average stripper is just like your Average bartender…we play therapist from time to time too” She added, Shane nodded and turned around pulling Eva to him the water flowed over them.
He gazed into her eyes, almost as if trying to see through her. He was running out of time, he would have to make a choice, between staying or leaving, between her or…Lori. Between saving a friendship or ending it, really ending two. He knew what he wanted to do, disappear into the early morning, with a packed car and his girl, to start over, no past regrets. But then her dark eyes would flash in his mind and he would feel the warmth spread through his body, how good it felt deep into the woods, he could see every moment. But before they could stay there in his mind he would see her green eyes, shimmering, that playful smirk. He would remember her hands that always found the right place to go. “Shane?” Eva asked, He was alarming her, his eyes almost blank.
Shane slipped his arms letting Eva free. He grabbed her hand and pulled it up to his lips, kissing it softly, as if his lips had hardly existed. “I think” he muttered getting her hand go “I think I just need some time to myself” He said, Eva nodded and slid open the glass door “Sure, Let me ring out your shirts and I’ll be out” Eva replied closing the Glass behind her, she watched Shane stand under the pouring water, with a sigh she dried her body and slipped back on her clothing before heading over to the sink. Wringing out the shirts, Eva frowned, hoping that all of this wasn’t going to be too much for Shane. “I’ve got to find some Respaphil, Maybe Hershel knows about it” Eva thought gathering the cloths in her arms. “alright Shane I’ out” she called before exiting the bathroom, those beautiful blue eyes staring down at her.