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You Are The Wilderness - The Walking Dead Fanfiction

Chapter 18 - Lost


Rick's POV


“Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine. Because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare… and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be lookin' back at me with that look that he had… we've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us, the truth, who we really are.
In the end he was talkin' 'bout losing out humanity, he said this group is broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it, set aside our differences and pull together, stop feelin' sorry for ourselves, take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale.”

I stopped speaking because I didn't know what else was there to be said. We were all standing beside yet another freshly dug grave. Kiara was huddled under my arm, clutching at my jacket and silently weeping.

After the funeral we split up into teams and went around the farm, checking the fences, making the place as secure as possible. Shane went with Andrea, Daryl and T-dog and I took Kiara, Glenn and Jimmy. None of us were really talking. Nobody knew what to say.
____________________________________________________________________________

“It'll be tight, fourteen people in one house,” I stated. We were moving our things inside the house. We talked about it and agreed it wasn't safe to camp outside anymore.

“Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardenin' 'n' the creek dryin' out –“ Hershel started.

“With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing the damn dinner bell,” Maggie added.

“She's right,” Hershel agreed. “We should've moved you in a while ago.”

We finished packing and moved everything inside, strategically placing all cars close to the exits facing out and stocking basement with food and water that could last for a few days. We also set up watch up on the windmill and barn window and assigned shifts.

I also decided I'll take Kiara (Not that I had a choice in the matter, after the last time she refused to let me go without her) and Daryl with me to drive Randal even further out and to cut him loose like we should've done the first time around. Shane didn't like it of course, but I made it clear, he doesn't have a say in the matter anymore.

“I see why you're not taking Shane with you,” Hershel started. “Just know I've got no more patience where he's concerned.”

“He's turnin' over a new leaf,” I said, hardly believing it myself and had to suppress laughter when I heard Kiara mutter behind me: “Like hell he is.”

“Andrea,” I hollered. “When I'm out with Daryl and Kiara, help Hershel keep an eye on things around here.”

“Me?” she questioned, surprised.

“Shane's got a way of letting things get out of hand, especially when he's all worked up.”

“We're all a bit worked up at this point,” Andrea countered.

“If he'll stay here permanently, he's got to understand that it's what Rick and I say, not whatever he wants,” Hershel explained.

“You two become close,” I stated.

“We talk,” she retaliated.

“Then you know he's not a bad guy, he's just his own worst enemy,” I reasoned and could almost hear Kiara roll her eyes next to me.

“You want me to babysit Shane?” Andrea asked incredulously making Kiara snort in amusement at that notion.

“I need to make sure that every time I leave the farm, all hell doesn't break loose,” I said.

“Then maybe you should stop leaving,” Andrea countered again.

“Well who else is stepping up to risk their lives and run errands for y'all?” Kiara chimed in. “I don't see that many volunteers.” Andrea just rolled her eyes and started walking away.

“Will you keep an eye on things?” I asked exasperated.

“Of course.”

We were setting up our stuff on the living room, Kiara and I took the corner of the room, setting up our cot and putting our backpacks on a pile next to it. We decided not to unpack them in case we needed to leave in a hurry. Hershel gave Lori and Carl his room which I was grateful for. At least my son will get a good sleep.

Kiara's POV


Rick, Daryl and I were standing on a front porch considering our options and figuring out where would be the best place to cut Randal loose.

“We take him out to Sannoy, hour there, hour back, give or take,” Rick stated. “We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then.”

“This whole pain in the ass will be a distant memory, good riddance” Daryl muttered.

“Nicely said Daryl, almost poetic,” I cracked making him roll his eyes at me and smirk.

“Focus woman!” he snorted at me jokingly.

“Carol put together some provisions for him,” Rick continued, oblivious to our teasing each other. “Enough to last a few days.”

“That thing you did last night,” Rick started, but didn't know how to continue.

“Ain't no reason why you should do all the heavy liftin'.” Daryl muttered. I could kiss him at that point. Finally, there was someone else who was with me on Rick's side, and understood the burden that was the leadership in this group. Daryl walked away to take a piss and Shane came up to us. I didn't even bother to cover my disgust anymore and turned my back on the man, huffing and rolling my eyes.

“Hey man, you've seen Carl lately?” he asked.

“He's inside with his mother,” Rick said.

“Look he came to me,” he started. “I wasn't supposed to say anything but he was out in the swamps yesterday, he came across a Walker stuck in a mud. He got scared 'n' ran off.”

“The same Walker that killed Dale?” Rick asked.

“That's the one,” he answered.

“I'll have Lori talk to him,” Rick said.

“Look I think he wants to talk to his father,” Shane retorted making me turn around to look at
him. I didn't expect this level of empathy from a man like him.

“Well I need this Randal thing done already,” Rick countered.

“Man that needs to wait ok?” Shane said, persistent and I could see that Rick was becoming restless, sighing and saying that it was his call. Shane offered to ride out with Daryl and me but I could see that Rick didn't like the idea any better than I did. Frankly, the idea of being in a car with Shane for hours made me homicidal. I spaced out a little and suddenly Shane was walking away rubbing his head in agitated manner.

“He's right,” I said making him turn at me incredulously. “You need to talk to Carl. Randal can wait.”

“I guess so,” Rick sighed and went to find Carl.

I stayed at the front porch looking over a map once more. Then I decided to guard Randal before we head out and I went inside to tell Maggie where I'll be in case Rick got back and took my katana and gun. I walked towards the shed and peeped inside, but I didn't see anyone. What the hell? Where's Randal? I noticed tracks leading into the forest and I started to follow them. I cursed myself for not telling anybody what happened or where I went but it was too late for that now. I was walking through the forest for a while when I saw Shane walking right behind rambling Randal. It didn't look like he was chasing him. What the hell? I hid behind the trees, sneaking around, waiting to see what he was up to. It seemed that Shane decided to run with Randal back to his group. That sneaky bastard.

I was trying to figure out what to do when suddenly, Shane snapped Randal's neck. Just like that and then he ran towards a tree and busted his nose against it. I just stood there trying to process what I just saw happen right in front of me. I stepped back, shocked and snapped a twig under my feet alerting him to my presence. He looked up and when he saw it was me, the look on his face went from deranged to murderous and he lunged towards me. I jumped back and started running away from him, but he was stronger and faster. He grabbed me in a choke hold and dragged me to the ground.

“You shouldn't have come out here to follow me,” he hissed into my ear. My head was becoming fuzzy from the lack of oxygen. I was writhing, trying to get out of his death grip but to no effect. “I had some other stuff planed for you when I was done with Rick, but I guess this will have to do.”

I was still struggling; the panic was rising in my heart. Not only was I most likely going to die, but I was going to die knowing that Rick was in a lethal danger and there was nothing I could do to warn him. Those were the last thoughts that went through my mind before I slipped into the darkness.

Rick's POV


I was checking the handcuffs in the shed trying to figure out how the hell Randal got out of them and where the hell was Kiara. Everybody ran out, asking what happened. We were arguing about what to do when we heard Shane yelling my name and coming out of the woods, his face bloody.

“What happened?!” Lori yelled at Shane.

“He's armed! He's got my gun!” Shane yelled back.

“You okay?!”

“I'm fine! Little bastard just snuck upon me, got me in the face!”

“You seen Kiara?!” I asked and the panic I felt when I thought something might have happened to her, was absolutely overwhelming.

“Haven't seen her anywhere!” Shane retorted.

“Alright Hershel, T-dog, get everybody back in the house! Glenn, Darryl, come with us!” I shouted orders checking out my gun, and the four of us started to walk towards the woods.

“I saw him head out through the trees that way before I blacked out!” Shane pointed out the direction. “I'm not sure how long!”

“He couldn't have gotten far,” I stated, following close behind him. “Where the hell is Kiara?! Maggie said she went to guard Randal!”

“Don't know,” Shane dodged. “Maybe she went away for a moment and he snuck out.”

“Maybe she went after him herself,” Daryl argued.

“Yeah, maybe,” Shane quipped.

“Can you track him?” I asked Daryl, I was losing it. Where the hell was Kiara? What if she went after Randal? What if he ambushed her? Or worse, what if he killed her?

“No, I don't see nothin',” Daryl said.

“Hey look, there ain't no use in trackin' okay? He went that way! We just need to pair up, we spread out and chase him down!” Shane insisted. All this was very weird. How the hell did Randal get out of the shed and what was Shane doing in the woods in the first place? I had a suspicion that this was his plan to get rid of me and if so, he would want to get rid of Kiara too but I decided to play along. Enough was enough. This was going to end tonight.

“All right, Daryl, you and Glenn start headin' up the right flank, me and Shane will take the left,” I instructed. “Remember, Randal is not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other.”
______________________________________________________________________________

We were walking for a while and it got dark. I knew what he was up to and I was trying to figure out what to do.

“Does this way feel right?” I asked.

“As right as any,” he said turning around to face me.

“Snatched your gun, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Was my favorite piece too. C'mon, let's go,” He urged. I didn't like it but I needed to buy some more time, so I started walking and let him follow me. We walked out on the clearing and I could see the farmhouse in the distance. The light was shining through the windows, unaware of what was transpiring nearby.

“So he got you with a rock?” I asked again.

“That's what I said,” he muttered few feet behind me.

“Beside the shed?” I continued. No answer. “Except the door was shut when T-dog rolled up,” I said calling him bluff.

“I saw that too,” he said. “He must have slipped through the rafters in the roof.”

I stopped and holstered my gun. “So this is where you plan to do it?” I inquired quietly.

“As good place as any,” he quipped.

“At least have the balls to call this what it is… murder,” I said and turned around to face him.
“You really believe if you walk back on to that farm alone, no me, no Randal…” I started to circle around him. “You really believe they gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?”

“There just ain't no story,” Shane muttered with a cold blooded expression on his face. “I saw that prisoner shoot you down, I ran after him, I snapped his neck. It ain't gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl will get over you. They've done it before.”

“And Kiara?” I started. “You know very well she's not gonna buy that for one second!”

“Well I wouldn't worry about that,” he retorted, smirking at me. “I already took care of her.”
“What the hell do you mean by that?!” I yelled at him. “Tell me!!!” I had to know. I almost lost it, but then I remembered my son was on that farm and that I needed to do what I could to protect him and everybody else from Shane's tyranny. He pointed his gun at me.

“Why?!” I asked. “Why now? I thought we worked this all out.”

“We tried to kill each other man!” Shane barked at me mockingly. “What'd you expect? That we're just gonna forget everything and ride off into the sunset together?”

“So you kill me and my girlfriend in cold blood? Screw my ex-wife? Have my son, MY SON, call you daddy? Is that what you want? I know you! You won't be able to live with this!”

“What you know about what I can live with?” he sneered at me. “You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with! Wanna talk about what I can do Rick? How about what you can do Rick?!” he put his gun behind his belt and raised his arms in the air. “Here I am. C'mon man, raise your gun.”

“No,” I shook my head. “No I will not.”

“What happened Rick? I thought you weren't the good guy anymore! Ain't that what you said?!” he pushed. “Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight? If I am such a threat to the camp, to everybody, why don't you do somethin', huh?! I had everything! I had Lori, I had Carl! I was the leader of the camp, but just have to come back with your fuckin' little girlfriend and destroy everything!!!”

I didn't know what to say. After everything we've been through, it has come to this… And he killed Kiara. It took everything for me not to crumble to the ground and scream in agony. I thought about my son and watched Shane circle me. I didn't recognize him at all.

“Raise your gun!” he barked at me.

“You're gonna have to kill an unarmed man,” I said calmly and raised my hands in the air.
“Watch my hand,” I said as I started to lower my left arm to retrieve my gun from the holster. “Nice and easy,” I took it out. “Easy does it,” I whispered and started to walk towards him. I was quiet, watching his every move and getting closer to him. He had his gun still pointed at me.

I was just handing him my gun, effectively distracting him as I took out my knife and jammed it into his chest.

“Damn you for making me do this Shane! This is you! Not me! You did this to us! This was you! NOT ME!!!” I yelled. “What did you do to Kiara!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!” I was grabbing him by his jacket, shaking him violently but he was already dead.

I couldn't keep it together any longer. I slumped to the ground and screamed like a mad man. Not only have I just killed my best friend, but the girl that I loved was probably dead. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how I would ever come back from this. I felt absolutely lost.

Notes

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think :-)

Comments

Please update soon!! I really like this story

I am really enjoying this story. I hope you go through all five seasons and beyond.

Natalie73 Natalie73
6/22/15

Omgsh, its getting crazy!! Hopefully kiara wakes up soon.

Xxjerr19xX Xxjerr19xX
4/1/15

Can't wait for updates! I'm hooked

Ashleyziur Ashleyziur
2/20/15

aww poor Kiara

Blakeray Blakeray
2/11/15