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I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Chapter 18

Their "road trip" wasn't smooth sailing after the morning storm of emotions. The route Daryl chose on a rural two lane highway proved unsuccessful about thirty miles in when it was blocked by an ancient fallen tree, and there was no possible way around. Even nature wasn't on their side. Daryl declared that the back track and reroute would cost them a better part of the day as he committed them to rural county roads. Not that it mattered to her. She was just along for the ride. Beth couldn't imagine what good would come when they eventually got where they were going. It wasn't like they were going to live happily ever after.

Daryl tried to engage her in idle conversation, but he was ultimately just talking to himself. She was turned entirely toward the window, too busy watching the world literally pass them by. The fields and forests and fence rows were beautiful, but the dead houses were sad shells mourning the people who once lived in them. They were all so stupid to feel safe at the prison...actually thinking they could make a real life there. And now they were like God's children, cast out of the Garden of Eden, denied his grace and protection. Except in their case, "Adam and Eve" weren't liking each other too much. If the future of the human race depended on them, she wouldn't count on it.

"You know...Glenn had a pretty nice car once...even after I met him after the turn," Daryl offered, and the mention of their lost family momentarily drew her out of her sad reverie.
Although she didn't turn to him or even give any indication that she was listening, he continued anyway.

"So it was back when they first brought Rick back after meeting him in Atlanta. I was out hunting, out in the woods a pretty good distance from our camp when I heard this wailin' car alarm echoing all across the mountain. Wasn't nothing I could do about it, so I just kept on hunting, and it eventually stopped. Next day, I got back to camp and I saw what all the fuss was about..."

She wondered who Daryl was back then. How he was with other people...this must've been right when he lost Merle the first time. And all the others...all the rest of his group that he'd never named...as well as the people she had met who were all gone now.

"And well...I mean...it wasn't a real good time for me... I'd lost the deer I'd shot to a walker on the way back to camp and found out the new sheriff in town handcuffed Merle on a roof and left him for dead...but it was a nice little red Dodge Challenger...and Glenn just thought it was the most wicked car ever..."

Beth tried to think on it...all the people he'd lost since they came to know each other from before the prison.

Sophia, Dale, Shane, Lori, T-Dog, Andrea, and Merle, and more recently Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, and Daddy...but those two probably didn't count. They were her people, so he probably didn't care...but...after the moonshine, he'd spoke of Maggie...and he was torn up because he didn't think he did enough to saver he Daddy. That had to mean something, didn't it?

She was missing someone else...

"And by the time they were all done partin' it out, poor Glenn, he was devastated," Daryl finished.

And it came to her...who she'd missed...Carol.

It all made sense now. Why he didn't want to be with her. Carol was the person he was closest to. If Carol would've been there beside him when the prison fell, Beth would've had no chance. He would've left her behind for sure. There was no way she could ever live up to the standard Carol had no doubt set before her. Of course he missed her and mourned for her...he'd never even said her name out loud since they ran from the prison. Even when she mentioned not being like Maggie or Michonne or Carol during their emotional breakdown with the moonshine, he didn't even react to her name...he was too hurt apparently. There was no way she could ever be as good as the strong, independent, mature woman Carol was. That meant there was no way she could be good enough for Daryl in the only way that mattered...and perhaps he would eventually leave her. And being alone...Beth would never survive that. When she thought about the horror she had felt at the last house with the woman hanging from the ceiling...Beth began fearing dying alone even more than being left alone in life.

Daryl always said he kept his promises. Beth was going to request one final promise from him before it was too late. She turned in her seat to face him, resolved to remain strong and keep her emotions in check.

"Daryl, can you stop for a minute?" Her voice was as even and calm as she could hope for.
"Yeah...you okay?" Daryl questioned intently, putting on the brakes and stopping in the middle of the road.

"I just need to ask you something."

Daryl pulled up the parking brake and put the car in neutral, turning to her and waiting attentively. This was the first time she'd spoken to him since they'd left the house.

"I need you to promise me something..." voice still calm and even to her surprise.
"I'll promise as long as it's something in my power."

"Promise me that when you find someone better to travel with or if you decide to go it alone, you'll help me find somewhere safe to stay before you leave me..." Beth's voice cracked a little at the end.

"This is ridiculous! I'm not even gonna entertain you with an answer," he was blatantly aggravated at her request.

Daryl's hand went to the parking break as he prepared to take off again, but Beth grasped his forearm in her small hand prompting him to stop.

"Please Daryl...you have to promise...you know I can't make it alone..." Full desperation invaded her voice.

Daryl pried her hand off his arm and then rested what was no doubt supposed to be a reassuring hand on the juncture between her neck and shoulder. After this morning, she had resolved that she wouldn't let him touch her again, but she didn't have the emotional strength to fight it.

"Beth...when are you gonna get it...I'm not gonna leave you...I think...you gotta understand...this is it for me..." The broken nature of his uncertain proclamation was hard to comprehend.

She didn't know what he was trying to say, and she still needed to hear him promise.

"Please Daryl...you have to promise..." her voice was urgent now.

"Hell Beth...yeah, I promise," Daryl replied reluctantly.


This silent treatment was driving him crazy. He'd never been much of a talker, until recently with Beth, and he didn't mind silence. But the fact that he knew he was getting the silent treatment was what made in unbearable. Luckily, they came upon an antiquated gas station and service garage with a few parked cars outside. As he pulled off the road and skidded to stop, the place looked pretty untouched. Maybe he could siphon some gas. Beth turned to look at him as he opened his door.

"I'm gonna look around, take a piss, and see what I can find. You comin'?" Daryl was outta patience and manners at the moment.

Beth wouldn't even grace him with a reply; she just turned back to her fixed position looking at nothing out the window.

"Fine Beth...suit yourself...but stay in the car," Daryl barked.

He slammed his door shut and saw Beth lean over to the driver's side and lock the doors behind him. And he'd left the keys in the ignition. He hoped he wasn't going to have to play a fucking game with her to get back into the car. At least he knew she couldn't drive away and leave him since she couldn't drive a standard. There were still small miracles in the world. He was kinda glad she decided to stay in the car. He could use a few minutes to clear his head and cool down.

Daryl cleared both the gas station and garage before setting to anything else. The store was really untouched, so it would be worth a look, but fuel was his priority. He was able to find a few empty gas cans and siphon enough from the abandoned cars to fill their tank almost two more times, and they were still doing good on what they started out with. Beth was obliging enough to pop the trunk for him when he knocked on the window. He was able to fit the gas cans in with the other supplies they'd gathered from the house before they left.
Inside, Daryl found a veritable selection of caloric depravity, so he grabbed some shopping bags and tossed in everything he saw. Lots of chocolate bars. Girls liked chocolate, right? Well, so did he, so either way, he felt set. There were also some various over-the-counter meds, antiseptics, and bandages that he couldn't pass up on...not in their world. And then he encountered the most intimidating area in the whole store-the feminine care section. He'd never ventured here before, but Beth wasn't like to come in, and she might appreciate the gesture. He grabbed a variety of what he thought she might need in the future and shoved them in a large shopping bag for her. This was definitely not his area of expertise...

At the door, Daryl dropped his bags before leaving and decided to enjoy a candy bar before they hit the road again. As he bit into the sweet chocolate and caramel goodness, he realized that it was probably the only sweetness he was like to get out of the day. He was still pissed beyond belief by the promise Beth demanded he make to her...she wouldn't even take his word. And she'd totally disregarded everything else he tried to say during the one real conversation they'd had on the drive. He shouldn't have even fucking opened his mouth.

To Beth's credit, she unlocked the door for him as soon as he reached it. Maybe she had some time to cool down and reflect while she was alone. He put his bags in the backseat then handed Beth his offering.

"I saw this stuff inside and thought you might like to have it," Daryl said calmly as she took the bag from him, and he sat down in the drivers seat.

Beth looked in the bag and then at him...and if looks could kill!

"I can't believe you...you think this is why I'm mad at you...because I'm having my period?" She seemed calm, but her voice carried an edge of anger. She was coming unhinged.

"No...no, that's not what I thought...not at all..." He knew he needed to tread very carefully. "I don't know how you girls...ladies...handle that...delicate time...without..." He was digging himself deeper when he hadn't even realized he'd started digging a hole in the first place. "I just thought you might appreciate this stuff when you did need it." It was the best Daryl could do.

"You're a dick Daryl. That's why I'm mad at you!" Beth spat out.

"Watch your mouth little girl!" Daryl could feel his anger rising. "I was just trying to be considerate, and that won't happen again!"

"Watch my mouth?! You're not my father! You don't get to tell me what to do!"
Well, at least she was paying attention to him now and wasn't staring out the window ignoring him.

"Your right, I'm not you're Daddy. What would Hershel say if he heard you?" He'd said it to get her attention, to make her stop and think.

It worked, and she glared.

"Come on, why don't you slap me again? I might like it this time!" He yelled at her, leaning close to give her the opportunity.
She needed to get her emotions out and move on, and if it took him provoking her, he would do it. And Daryl was mad too...Beth was acting like a spoiled brat. She needed to grow up.

"No? You don't want to...okay, then get the fuck over yourself." He gave her some time to process.

"Fuck you Daryl!" She was still infuriated.

"Yeah...there it is...that's why you're mad at me. You wanted to fuck me, and I said 'no'. You need to get over it." He was harsh, but it was the truth. She needed a little reality.

Reality might sting, but Beth didn't have any snotty reply.

Daryl reached back in a bag, grabbed a candy bar, and tossed it in Beth's lap.

"Here Beth, have some chocolate and be quiet. Chocolate releases endorphins, and endorphins make you happy." He was calming down now, at least on the outside.

Beth eventually ate the candy bar, but probably only because she hadn't eaten all day.

They were at a impasse.






Notes

~Author's Note: So this is going to be the last chapter where Beth and Daryl are going to be at each others' throats (at least for a while) before they realize it is accomplishing nothing. They are just currently at that stage where you spend so much time with each other in addition to their current circumstance that anger, fighting, bickering, and misunderstandings are going to occur. Daryl's never been in this kind of situation with a woman before so he is kind of lost, and Beth is still angry from his rejection. Beth is acting immature, and Daryl, he doesn't know how to respond. I have great confidence that they will work it out, but it being all rainbows and butterflies would be unrealistic for the situation. As always, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!~

Comments

@Smokey85
Awww...thank you so much for coming back to read! You are amazing. I truly appreciate it!

Aireabella Aireabella
3/30/19

I am so happy you are back! I love your stories and always look forward to your updates! Thank you for sharing your work :)

Smokey85 Smokey85
3/26/19

@McDrogoInaNewWorld
So glad that you enjoyed it! It always makes my day when I can make people happy by doing what I love! Thank you so much!

Aireabella Aireabella
6/14/18

Yay!!! Another great chapter on the books, can’t wait to see what happens next!!

@blesdirishangel
Thank you so much for coming back to my fic and for your comment! I am glad that you love the update. You are amazing!

Aireabella Aireabella
6/7/18