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I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Chapter 54

"We're married. Daryl and I are married."

Beth's pronouncement was much more clear and steady...but it was driven by anger. This wasn't how it was supposed to be...how it was supposed to go. Everything was ruined. He should've never went on that fucking run...should've just stayed in his world with Beth...gone to bed with her when she begged him not to go. Rick and the rest of their group would've done just fine without them. Daryl made it fully to his feet. The least he could do was go stand beside Beth...take her hand, show their family what they were to each other even though the happiness of the moment was gone. But they were all staring at him...judging him...each and every one of them. It was like the very beginning, when he brought them their food, helped them protect the group, bled for them, but they didn't trust him...didn't like him or want him around but needed him...and he wasn't gonna take it. He was good enough.

"Where were you all when the prison fell, when Hershel died? I know where I was. I was with Beth, protecting her, trying to keep her safe, trying to comfort her, and she did the same for me. None of you can say that. You all know me, but you're standin' there judging me. I don't take advantage...never have...I haven't even..." Daryl stopped himself. He almost spit out something far too private that no one had a right to know. He was so upset there was a sharp pain in his side. "I love her, and if she don't love me, she's free to go, but 'till then, y'all mind your own damned business. I gave Beth a ring...my promise, my promise before God. You hear me? Before God! I protect my family, and she's my family...she's mine..."

Daryl was feeling short of breath by the time he got done. He confessed things he'd never thought he'd say in front of anyone in his entire life. But they were still looking at him, judging...and Beth was too...so that couldn't be it...

"Daryl..." The look on Beth's face, the fear in her voice...he didn't understand. She slowly approached him with her hand raised to calm him, steady him...but why?

Beth looked down. Daryl followed her eyes, and that's when he felt it, the jagged piece of shattered mirror protruding from his side, the blood dripping down his pants. His hand went instinctively to pull it out, but she caught it before he had the chance. Bob and Rick threw themselves into the mix, but everyone else faded away for him.

"We need to get him to his bed," Bob took charge.

"Upstairs...Rick knows where..." Beth sounded like she was tryin' to keep it together, but it was a war she was losing.

"You got any medical supplies...suture kits, saline, hemostats if you have them, bandages...get what you got, I'll need them. Hot water, towels."

"I'll get what we have..."

Bob and Rick were helping him...half dragging him towards the stairs, but he didn't wanna leave her...not after what happened. These people...the new people...they were unpredictable.

"Out. I want them out of my house now!" Little Beth was fierce.

"Beth, they're with us. Abe didn't know. No one knew, he was just trying to protect you," Glenn was trying to reason. "Where are they supposed to go?"

"I don't care. I want them out. Daryl's your brother now; he's been part of your family since before I knew you. How about you try thinking about him and convincing me about them later?"

That was the last Daryl was able to hear of Beth...Beth defending him to her family...fighting for him...


Daryl...he was hurt. She was trying to hold it together and keep the tears at bay. She needed to be with him, with Rick and Bob taking him to bed...but they had it handled, and she had a job to do. Beth had already wasted too much time banishing Abraham and arguing with Glenn about it. She had to focus now. When Beth got to their room after gathering what was needed, their whole world...everyone had converged on that spot. So much for privacy. Beth couldn't even make it to the bed, putting the medical supplies on the table by the door. At least someone had been kind enough to get hot water from the bathroom.

"Bob..." Beth called.

She couldn't even see him from where she stood until he came to see what they had to work with. Beth could hear Daryl growling and complaining from the bed. She wanted to go to him...be by him, but Bob might need her. Beth had a job to do...and she was afraid to see how bad it was.

"Suture kits...good...silk...we can use that. Absorbable sutures...good. Here are some..." Bob was talking to himself over the inventory.

"Bob?"

"Hmm..." was he even paying attention?

"Is he going to..." Beth might be being dramatic, but she was so afraid to lose him...she wouldn't survive.

Bob stopped what he was doing to look at her a little cross-eyed.

"He's going to be fine. The biggest complication we're going to have is keeping him in bed...to rest."

Beth could breathe again. Focus.

'"Okay, we're going to need the room now. Everybody out." Bob declared.

Everyone listened...well most everyone. Rick was beside Daryl. They would need his help. Beth wanted him there for support either way, but Carol was hovering by the bedside too. She knew Daryl was her friend, but she didn't need to be here now. It wasn't her place. And something that Daryl told her...to be careful around Carol...she didn't know why or even what that meant, but it wasn't a time to question. It was a time to listen.

"Carol, it's time to go..." Bob got there before she got the chance, but Carol stood her ground.

"Hershel taught me some things. I can help you." Carol asserted.

"He was my Daddy. He taught me." It made Beth sore that Carol brought up Daddy and the fact that he'd showed her a little. Beth had spent a lifetime loving him and learning from him. "Daryl...he's my husband," it was the first time Beth had said that out loud...the words felt so sweet on her tongue. "This is my place."

She didn't have time to wait and see if Carol left, but she heard the door close.

"Rick, make sure he keeps pressure on the laceration over his eye."

Beth zoned back into what was going on with Daryl...where her attention needed to be. Daryl was laid out on the bed, Rick kneeling on the other side of him, Bob examining the shard of mirror embedded in his side. Daryl wasn't saying anything now, making any noise, showing any pain. Either the adrenaline was overriding it or Daryl was putting on a brave face for Bob and Rick or her. One of his hands pressed the bloody towel to his forehead, but the other hand, the hand closest to her...she saw it tightly gripping the side of the mattress. He was hurting.

Beth moved in close beside Bob, not drawing attention to herself, but sliding her hand into Daryl's. He laced his fingers between hers, clenching her hand tight. Beth knew Daryl probably wouldn't have a problem with Bob or Rick seeing him holding her had, but he wouldn't want them to know that he was holding her hand because of the pain. She would give him that. Bob pulled the glass out without warning, replacing it with a towel and a firm hand to staunch the bleeding. Daryl winced at that, squeezing her hand until it ached. Beth wished she could take his pain away, but if clenching her had tight helped to transfer some of that pain, it was the least she could do. She watched as Bob pulled the towel away, the bleeding slowed, but Beth noticed there was a lot of blood in their bed. As Bob's fingers were probing the open wound, glancing sideways, she could see Daryl's jaw tightening.

"It doesn't seem to have hit anything major, but it's deep. We'll need an interior layer of sutures before we close the wound." Bob was using a lot of we in his discussion. "You didn't find any hemostats, suture forceps, needle grippers...?"

He looked directly at her, placing the bloody towel against Daryl's wound again. Beth shook her head, afraid of what was coming next.

"Hershel taught you how to stitch." Bob wasn't asking a question, just making an observation. He knew. "You're going to do it. You have small hands and fingers for the interior layer. You can do the best job with the least amount of damage."

Beth froze. Daddy had taught her...but this was different. She would be hurting Daryl. Causing him pain. Her job right now was holding his hand despite the brave show she'd made in front of Carol. Maybe she shouldn't have made Carol leave...she just didn't think Bob would need her to do this.

"I...I can't..." Beth got out.

Daryl let her hand go.

"Go on Lil' Bit...you got this..." Daryl had faith in her. How could she say no?

Bob flushed the wound with saline, passing her the small curved needle.

"You know how to tie a surgeon's knot?"

Beth nodded. Her Daddy had been a good teacher.

Beth looked up after tying off every stitch to see Daryl, apologizing with her eyes for hurting him, but he was remarkably still, focused. Beth could feel his muscles contract every time the needle passed through the sliced flesh, when she tied the knots to make two pieces one, but his eyes were on her...watching her. Beth finished the interior layer under Bob's close supervision, trying to pass him the needle so he could close the wound.

"No, you're doing just fine. You've got a woman's touch, and the patient isn't complaining," Bob refused her. "But let's keep the sutures in the closure interrupted. There's no way Daryl's going to make it through his recovery without busting at least one of those stitches, and if they aren't interrupted, it'll just be like the perforated edge of paper...an open wound all over again."

Bob was right. Everyone in the room knew that. Back on the farm, when Daryl had shot himself with his crossbow, been shot in the head with a deer rifle on top of that, he'd been back out, trying to find that little girl just a few days later. She hadn't known him then...but that characteristic was persistent within Daryl.

Beth closed. Bob supervised her suturing Daryl's forehead as well. She wasn't sure exactly why Bob wanted her to finish. Maybe it was because he wanted someone else to have some experience, or because Daryl was handling her so well, or maybe because he knew she was the one person there was no chance of Daryl going off on for inflicting pain.

After all the wounds were closed, Beth was sitting on the bed beside Daryl, Rick, arms crossed over his chest looking on as Bob laid out his final instructions.

"You can clean him up when we leave, but after that, give him these." Bob set three pills from the multitude of prescription bottles Beth had brought up with her from their medical supplies. "One's for the pain, one's to make him sleep, and one's an antibiotic."

"I don't need to sleep. Don't need nothin' for the pain neither," Daryl protested, but he got the stare down from all three of them.

"When you're done with him, give him these," Bob reiterated. "I want you to stay in bed, let's say...three days..."

"That ain't happening," Daryl barked.

"Daryl..." Rick warned, giving Bob a chance to finish.

"No strenuous activity, and especially no..." Bob looked back and forth between Beth and Daryl, waiting for them to understand what he didn't say?

Beth had no idea, and looking to Daryl, he looked equally confused.

"Hmmph," Rick laughed, clearly amused by the situation they weren't understanding. They both looked to Rick. "That means no sex, kids," Rick translated.

Beth was mortified, and Daryl looked just as dumbstruck, not having any quick comeback...and he had absolutely no objection like he did most of the time, just for the sake of protest.

"Don't look at me like that. That's what Bob's saying," Rick ended matter-of-factly.

"No strenuous activity," Bob repeated. "Especially no sex, vigorous or otherwise, until I see signs of healing."

Beth was dying on the inside, and on the outside, she knew she wasn't blushing prettily...she was red with embarrassment. Rick was clearly amused with himself. Bob was fighting a smile, looking like he was trying to be all medical and professional...and Daryl...Daryl looked like he was going to kill someone, but there was just the slightest upturn at the corners of his lips.

Daryl was glad it was Beth. The fact she was sewing him made the pain more tolerable. Even though she protested, didn't wanna do it, her hands didn't shake. The worst part was over...his side repaired and closed...still stung like a bitch, but it was done. He was sitting up now, against the pillows and headboard so Beth could close his forehead. The pull of the stitches in his side from being bent didn't help the stinging any, but it meant that he was closed up nice and tight. Beth did a good job. She'd crossed his lap, sitting on his knees to reach his head...he sure wouldn't have been okay with Bob or Rick doin' that. He tried to forget that Bob and Rick were even there, everything happened, Abe, the pain...just focusing on Beth. That's what got him through the last...just Beth.

"Silk..." Beth told him about the sutures. "It will help stop a scar if I keep the stitches small."

Silk.

Daryl thought about the last piece...only piece of silk he'd ever felt...the now discarded white gown Beth had found to wear for him on their wedding night...a night that didn't happen. He opened his eyes to look at her. She was so close, her expression so intent.

"Keep your eyes closed." Beth paused her work, setting a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, take a breather from her delicate task. "I can't do this with you watching me..."

Daryl listened the best he could. His cheek twitched when the needle pierced the deeper, more tender portions of the cut, but other than that, he forced himself to be the ideal patient, keeping his eyes closed and his hands to himself.

He'd thought that the stitching was the bad part. Adrenaline had made getting the wound unnoticeable, stitching-Beth had eased that pain, but Bob's bed rest orders...

"I want you to stay in bed, let's say...three days..."

"That ain't happening..." Daryl didn't even give Bob time to finish his thought. His house was full. There was a lot of shit that had to be done, people he knew now that he couldn't trust, and he wasn't gonna leave all that to Beth.

"Daryl..." Rick cautioned. He respected Rick enough to hear Bob out, so he closed his mouth.

"No strenuous activity, and especially no..." Bob looked at both him and Beth in turn, eyebrow slightly raised.

He didn't get what Bob was trying to say or why he wouldn't just spit it out already. Daryl looked at Beth, brow furrowed, and shit could he feel it, but she didn't get it either. There was a quiet laugh, his attention drawn to Rick, standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, his stance serious but his face gave away his amusement.

"That means no sex, kids."

Well, Rick clearly felt comfortable enough with them not to have to beat around the bush. Daryl's face went warm...Beth's face was red too...maybe even more than his. They were both so innocent in their own fucking ways that neither of them were able to get the simple insinuation. He should've known.

"Don't look at me like that. That's what Bob's saying." Rick's defense was lackluster, like he knew he didn't need to but did for the sake of saying something because of Daryl and Beth's reactions.

"No strenuous activity. Especially no sex, vigorous or otherwise, until I see signs of healing," Bob repeated.

It was even worse when Bob said everything. And the shitty expression on his face, the smile he was fightin'...Daryl wanted to punch his teeth out...Rick thought it was funny too...he could kill 'em both. But...he and Beth...they were newlyweds...and Rick and Bob, they were friends...family. They were okay enough with him and Beth being together that they were trying to share in their happiness, despite the fact that Daryl had been bleeding in their bed a few minutes before...but their world made for strange moments. As newlyweds, it seemed like they should expect a certain amount of teasing and torture from their friends and family. That sounded like something normal from the way the world used to be, just not the world he came from. But just because he had to accept it, didn't mean it wasn't more painful than Bob yanking the mirror outta his side. In the end though, he couldn't help it, couldn't keep the little smile from his lips.

"Just give me a handful of those pills so I can knock myself out. Better yet, give me a bullet so I can put myself outta my misery..."

After Rick and Bob made sure he got back into bed once Beth changed the bloody blankets and sheets, they were gone. Everything was quiet. Beth was gently wiping the blood from his forehead with a warm wet rag. Daryl rested his hand on her hip just to feel her. He was feeling sleepy, but he knew it wasn't even noon yet.

"I'm sorry..."

"For what?" Daryl was confused...but today, it didn't seem like it took much to confuse him.

"For hurting you." Beth let her hand fall away from his face, looking down.

"Nothin' you could've done about it. I'm glad it was you."

Beth nodded her head, but it was bothering her.

"Hey...come here..." Daryl didn't know how much more here Beth could get, but he just wanted her a little closer.

She shook her head no. "You heard what Bob said."

Well, for one thing, what Bob said was the last thing that was on his mind...no, he remembered it in all its horrifying glory, but he just wasn't too keen on listening to the doctor's orders. Second, he wasn't just gonna ravage her right then and there. Hands on her hips, he didn't bother to ask her anything again. Daryl just pulled her to where he wanted her to be, as close as she could get. It hurt, but it was worth it.

"Pain's part of being alive. I accepted that a long time ago. If we're lucky, there will be enough to outweigh the pain, and I've got that."

Daryl closed his eyes, breathing Beth in. He could still smell his blood around them, but then, there was Beth. Sometimes she smelled like the cupcake lotion she'd found what seemed like a lifetime ago...if measured in events, it was a lifetime...but no matter what, she always smelled so good. He could be covered in dirt, blood, and sweat, but Beth...she always smelled like spring, sunshine...hope, if that was even possible.

There were so many things Daryl wanted to say to Beth, but he couldn't find the words; the adrenaline had worn off, he was feeling the pain, and exhaustion was starting to set in. The quiet was nice. He wrapped his arms around Beth, and she gave into him, against his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. There was pain, and pressure, but his overwhelming need to be close to her drowned out everything else. When it was just him and her, everything worked, but today really showed their new reality. They were gonna have to work to make it work...but what if it didn't...couldn't? He wasn't doubting himself anymore or Beth, but what about the rest? There were so many other complications.

"Beth..."

"Hmmm..."

"What if I can't make it work...living like this again...the group...the new people?"

Beth pulled away from him. Daryl let her, needing to see her face.

"What do you mean?" She wasn't panicking yet. That was good. She was willing to hear him out.

"I can't live like...being worried 'bout a stranger trying to take me out for touching you...worry 'bout people in our home hurting you." Was he even making any sense?

"That's not going to happen again...I made them leave. I think they're down in the guest house." Beth had been solid when she made them go. He heard that.

It seemed like a safe distance for now, but they weren't the only threats. People changed. Sometimes you never really knew the people around you. Carol...she'd killed members of their group and hid it. Who would've thought?

"It's just been us for so long. Before, it was all of us. Now, it's us and them..." Daryl really didn't know where he was going with it or what he needed from Beth. Maybe just someone to listen. "I've told you before...you'll always come first for me..." He'd known that all along, he just never thought they'd find everyone again, never thought there was a chance in hell.

Beth nodded when he finished.

"It's about us, not them. There will never be a choice. You're going to rest and heal. When you're better, we'll go." Her big blue eyes were locked on his. She was serious, but that wasn't what he was asking for.

"Beth, I wouldn't ask you to..."

"You don't have to ask. There's no question. If that's what we need to do, we'll do it," she cut him off. "Do you remember when we first got here and you asked me what I prayed for back at the church?"

"You said you prayed for us." He remembered.

"I should've been praying for forgiveness for the life I took..." she hesitated and Daryl was trying to think of something comforting to say to her, but Beth went on. "It was a selfish prayer...but I made a deal with God. I told him if I could have you...keep you, I would be willing to never see my family or friends again...just you. I'm not ashamed. And that goes for now too..."

Daryl hadn't thought it was possible for him to love her any more. He reached out, brushing his fingers down her cheek as she watched him. They'd grown so much together, become together.

"Why?" He didn't need to say any more. Beth knew what he was asking. Why did she pick him? Why did she love him? Why was she willing to give up for him? Beth smiled like she was thinking about the most beautiful moment she'd ever had. It made his heart warm.

"After we burned the cabin...the second cabin...and I stopped in the woods to look back, you told me to follow you, that you wouldn't lead me astray. When you turned away, all I could see were the wings on your back. I knew in that moment...I didn't really know why yet, but I realized I would follow you anywhere...I was taking it on faith. I would follow you into the dark..."

It was the most staggering thing Daryl had ever heard. He kept his mouth closed, knowing if he opened it, he wouldn't be able to construct a coherent stream of words. He would ruin it. Instead, he took Beth's hand in his, examining her ring, the wings that protected her finger, representing all the promises he could make to her, buying himself time to pull it together. Daryl realized that today Beth may have sewn his wounds closed, but it wasn't the first time she'd put the broken pieces of him back together.

For Daryl, somehow everything in life had fallen into place. "Maybe now...maybe now it's my turn to take it on faith...maybe I will follow you into the light..."

Notes

Comments

@Smokey85
Awww...thank you so much for coming back to read! You are amazing. I truly appreciate it!

Aireabella Aireabella
3/30/19

I am so happy you are back! I love your stories and always look forward to your updates! Thank you for sharing your work :)

Smokey85 Smokey85
3/26/19

@McDrogoInaNewWorld
So glad that you enjoyed it! It always makes my day when I can make people happy by doing what I love! Thank you so much!

Aireabella Aireabella
6/14/18

Yay!!! Another great chapter on the books, can’t wait to see what happens next!!

@blesdirishangel
Thank you so much for coming back to my fic and for your comment! I am glad that you love the update. You are amazing!

Aireabella Aireabella
6/7/18