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Dixons Don't Cry

Day 73

"This is stupid," she huffed out, crossing her arms across her chest. The age of ten and growing up was hitting her hard, and with the new school year and now this, things were just not going her way. It had been three years with these two men she had easily adopted as her family, but right now her dad was gone for some reason, and it was just her and my uncle.

Uncle Daryl was brushing through her tangled strands of hair. "Hush up, girl," he commanded. He pulled down the brush to brush the next stand, but it got stuck in a tangle, and though it didn't hurt, the pull made her whine loudly.

"That hurts! Ya pullin' my hair out!" young Tessa whined, going to grab at his pulling hand, trying to brush out the knot. He smacked her hand and she recoiled it, her lips pouting in frustration and the mock pain. "Ya pullin' my hair," she huffed once more.

"Maybe if ya didn't let rats burrow in ya hair, wouldn't hurt, lil' shit!" he told her, finally brushing out the heavy tangle.

"I don't let rats burrow in my hair!"

"I don't let rats burrow in my hair!" Uncle Daryl mocked the ten year old, high pitch voice and all. The hair puling was forgotten as she began to laugh at her uncle's antics. He was always much sillier than her dad.

"Ya silly," she told him, looking at him through the mirror. He gave barely a smile, but she had learned that it was his way of smiling. Her blue eyes eyed him through the mirror, her head titling. He was dressed nicer today, in a flannel shirt without ripped sleeves, that had some black in it. He had combed through his hair and actually looked like a normal human being for once, but still country. "Uncle Daryl?" Tessa asked.

"Hmm?" He took the silly blue ribbon she insisted on wearing in her hair and started trying to tie in back in knot, pulling the scruffy hair out of her face.

"Why we gettin' all dressed up? Daddy said that someone just died, it don't matter," she bluntly said, her tone conveying the same attitude as her father: why did it matter? She certainly didn't know who died, and she didn't feel sad. She had been sad when her momma died, but that was different; she knew her momma.

"Not a lot matters to your dad," Daryl huffed with a roll of his eyes, finishing his work with her hair. Tessa appraised herself in the small mirror; small with piercing eyes, slightly pouty lips, the same superior scowl all Dixons have.

"Me and you matter," she stated as matter-of-factly, reaching up with her hand to scratch her ear.

He didn't reply, only stared at the reflection of her eyes through the mirror, the blue orbs up on his. "We're goin' to pay respect, for tha dead."


"It's just what ya do, it's human," he answered.

"Daddy said ya didn' even like ya Uncle Tommy." Daryl looked at his niece through the mirror. She looked like Merle, even talked like Merle sometimes, but she wasn't him. He knew she was sweet, although she had a temper and liked to be one of the boys. Just a little girl, and Daryl knew that she lacked some compassion; it wasn't her fault or Merle's, that was just how his brother was, and his daughter was picking up on it. Daryl could see how much she wanted to be like her daddy, like any child naturally would.

He prodded her shoulder and she turned on her stool to face him at the gesture. He lowered himself down to be eye level with her. Blue met blue. "It don't matta if we didn't like our Uncle Tommy," he told her slowly. Her mouth opened to say something, but Daryl continued before she could go on. "It don't. When people die, we gotta be people too."

Her head tilted and her brows furrowed a bit. "What does that mean?"

He tried to find the words, staying quiet for a moment, only reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair and pushing it behind her ear carefully. "People gotta mourn. It don't matter if ya don't like somebody. When people die, ya get sad, because ya never gonna see them again, or eva get to fix what was bad between ya Family is family, ya love your family no matter what. Blood is blood, kin is kin."

She was silent, looking at the ground, trying to calculate his words. She looked to the ground, and he could tell by the way she was pushing her lips to the side that she was trying to find words to speak.

Tessa finally looked up to him again. She nodded in understanding, before looking away again and slowly asking," Does everyone die?"

"Yeah, they do." He wouldn't lie to her, though he had a feeling why she asked. She was probably thinking of her mom; after all, she had only died three years ago. He placed his fingers under her chin and made her look up to his eyes. "Listen here, we ain't goin' anywhere, okay? Always be here for ya, Tessa May."

Tessa blinked a few times and nodded again. "Promise?" she asked, she voice sounding so soft.

Daryl nodded. "Promise."

She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face into the crook of his shoulder. His hand went to her hair, on top of where he had tied the stupid blue ribbon. He hugged tighter to her, and said once more, low in her ear," Promise."


I sighed and ran my free hand through my hair. I was fidgety, anxious, constantly looking out the window. My eyes were trained on the little road where the car had disappeared yesterday.

Tess, why don't you go outside and get some air?" Maggie's voice rang in my ears, and I looked up to her, my gaze breaking from the road. Her eyes were sunken with worry for the same reason I was. I shook my head after a minute.

"Nah, I don't feel like goin' outside." My eyes moved next out to the very far edge of the farm, where I knew Uncle Daryl was. My lips tugged down and I looked to the ground, letting out a shaky breath thinking about him. I felt Maggie's hand on my shoulder and I relaxed a bit under her touch.I had never been one for girls or girlfriends, but Maggie was now up there, and after yesterday, we had common ground and understanding, not just our mutual liking for fucking with Glenn.

"Go shower then, after that we can try to talk to Beth." I grimaced at the mention of Beth, who was in the other room, catatonic, in shock. I nodded this time, and told her that was a good idea. I hadn't had a real shower in days, and after that first one Beth let me take, I could use a nice, hot one. "Leave the door unlocked," she told me as I stood.

I chuckled as I stood up next to her. We were about the same height, so our eyes met easily, blue to blue. My eyebrow raised and I smirked at the farmer's daughter. "Didn't know ya swung that way, Maggie," I teased her. She smacked me in the arm and retorted," I'm gonna bring ya some clothes, dumbass." We were both laughing as I left to walk down the hall towards the bathroom. Before disappearing into the bathroom, I called out over my shoulder," If ya wanna join in, knock three times first!"

"I'll be right behind ya, baby!" We both started laughing even louder, and I shut the door, shaking my head and letting laughs escape my lips. The small chuckles continued even as I turned on the shower and stripped from my grimy clothes. I climbed into the shower and sighed at the water running down my body, taking dirt and grime and blood with it. But the short laughter with Maggie could only take so much time away from my worry.

I wasn't one for joking with girls, but last night, Maggie and I had a knew connection. It was weird, as I was only used to fucking with Glenn and talking to him, but being around more people my age made me feel more normal, more accepted than I ever was in the walker-free world. I wasn't a redneck hick with the people my age--I was a survivor, just like everybody else.

Yesterday shortly after the funeral, Hershel had turned up missing. Nick and I had still been sitting by the graves, quietly talking about Sophia and my stories of her, when Rick had approached with Glenn telling us they were going to the town to look for Hershel.

"I have to go with you," Nick had said and stood up. I quickly stood too, sadness shooting through me. I had just lost Sophia, and I didn't want Nick gone too. We had known each other for a short time, but he was comedic relief, a friend, comfort, and I didn't want him to be gone. A pain in my chest filled me.

"Ya can't go!" I pleaded.

His head turned to me and his teeth snagged his lip, looking torn. "Don't need to risk more men. We'll just go get Hershel and bring him back," Rick told him. It seemed enough for me--they didn't need his help.

Nick shook his head and looked to Rick. "No man, I gotta look for my kid sister.
It's been days, and I need to know if she's... if she's fine." There was a silence as we all understood the truth in his words; he needed to know if she was dead or a walker. Or maybe even alive. There was hardly a shred of hope on the last thought. I needed Nick here, but I knew he would leave anyways, and I understood; kin is kin. Rick agreed, and after a short hug for each of them, they were soon gone down the road.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was worried sick, looking for anything to take my mind off of Nick and Glenn being out, hell, even Rick being gone made me nervous. I didn't want anybody to get hurt. It had been a long day the day before, and I didn't want to be worried, especially after my talk with Uncle Daryl. He had set me back a few steps, and only after Maggie grabbed me and slapped some sense into me did I realize Uncle Daryl was just a dick.

I was with Shane and Carl. They were keeping my mind off of the three men that were gone, by Shane teasing me about being a redneck science nerd, actually being not as crazy as he had been the past few days ("I guess it makes sense, since all you know how to do is dissect squirrels"). Lori had came to me, asking if I could go talk to him since I was his niece. Aparrantly she had asked him to go look for them since it had been hours, and he yelled at her. I reassured Lori that I would talk to him, and I left Carl and Shane to go speak with my lovely uncle, which turned quickly into a brawl.

I finally found him where Lori had said he was, sitting by the old barn. He seemed to be making arrows, his scowl was deep on his face, and I knew he probably used it to scare Lori, but fuck that, he needed to stop acting like a kid.

His hunter ears heard me making my way towards him, and his eyes glanced up briefly to look at me before looking back down to his work. He didn't acknowledge me, he just kept carving down the stupid stick. Sweat stuck to my neck and I wiped at it. "Uncle Daryl," I called out to him. He ignored me. I tried again, getting closer, but he kept his eyes down and made another carve with his knife. I pursed my lips, irritation and the familiar Dixon anger brewing.

"What the fuck, Uncle Daryl?" I asked as I finished the walk towards him.

My uncle was not a kind man around people that weren't family, and I knew that better than anybody. There were those moments when the group had seen he cared about me in the upmost obvious ways, but the caring stopped there and did not spread in their eyes. Only his constant searching for Sophia was another beacon, and Carol saw through it, but I guess they probably thought it was more for me than them. He did have a heart, though, and I knew he was crushed, but he couldn't just start acting like a little kid, moving our tent without even asking me.

He ignored me again, and the soft anger was building. I spazzed and in my demand for his attention, I reached over quickly knocked his pile of whittled sticks.

"What the fuck, Tess?!" Uncle Daryl shouted at me, finally looking at me. Dixon blues met Dixon blues, both of us with hard glares on our faces.

I crossed my arms and sank into my hip. "Oh, now you can hear me!"

"What the fuck do ya want? I'm not going out ta look for anymore people!" he growled, looking back to his stick and furiously scraping at it.

I grabbed at my hair in frustration. "I'm not here to ask ya to go out! Why the fuck ya over here alone, movin' our goddamn tent?"

I saw him roll his eyes. "I ain't bein' round those people. Stupid fuckers."

"Well I'm staying with them!" I shouted at him. I couldn't believe him right now. He had been getting along pretty well, being somewhat nice, growing more with the group. Now he's pissing it all away, and I couldn't believe him.

That seemed to set him off. He drove his knife into the wood he was sitting on and shot up, getting into my face. He practically spat in my face, but I didn't back down from him. I wasn't scared of him, he couldn't break me. "So much for kin! Go shack up with your new boyfriend then!"

"He's not my boyfriend! We're just... friends!" I huffed at him. We were only inches apart, our faces both trying to take the other down with a glare, like two animals fighting for alpha.

He scoffed and stepped back, and my mental victory was cut short by his next words. He looked away and scoffed again, and when he turned back to me, he pressed a finger to my chest, looking me dead in the eyes. "Ya think he actually is your friend? He just wants ta fuck ya and leave ya. It's the end of the world,
sweetheart, none of them are ya fuckin' friends. Chinaman didn't get into ya pants and now sticks it to Miss Farmer's Daughta, doesn't give a shit 'bout chu or your stupid friendship. That fuckin' bitch didn't even go to her own daughta's funeral, ya think if you die, these people will actually care?! Only person that's eva gonna love ya is gonna be me! Till ya die, all ya are to them is a piece of ass and someone ta play babysitter!"

I was frozen in my spot as he yelled at me, taking in what he said. It actually hurt, thinking about what Uncle Daryl said. Did they really not care? Was I just some stupid girl, nothing they would mourn? My chest hurt at Glenn, that he really wasn't my friend. But my chest hurt worse at the thought of Nick not caring either.

"I-I-" I stuttered, looking away from his gaze and shaking my head, not finding the words.

Uncle Daryl's voice was softer the next time he spoke, but his words still had the same cut-throat slice to them. "Ya just another mouth ta feed, you ain't their kin, they don't love ya. Ya never had friends before the world went ta shit, why would ya have any now?"

I stood there, unmoving. I didn't know what to think. His words cut me like a razor blade.
They don't care. It had to be true. I never had friends, real friends. These people couldn't care, not like I cared. I felt fucking stupid for opening to them, letting my guard down, practically accepting them as family. Maybe it was my naive, childish stupidity. How many times did I hear growing up, 'Only a Dixon can love a Dixon'? Uncle Daryl wouldn't lie.

I turned to walk off, just like my dad and uncle both did when they were upset too, trying to turn away from problems, but Uncle Daryl grabbed my wrist tight. I turned my head to look at him. "Ain't nobody gonna love you but me." He released my wrist, and I kept walking back from where I came.

Maggie found me, sitting on the porch looking dead, or how I imagined I looked. I wasn't moving, just staring out on the road. They didn't care about me, but I cared about their return. How pathetic is that? After several minutes of trying to get me to look at her and talk, she finally punched me in the arm as hard as she could--which trust me, girl's got a great arm. I finally spilled to her what happened, just letting out everything about how I cared and nobody cared about me--how Uncle Daryl was right. Her words stuck to me, shook through my very being; they were the words that made me accept the change within myself. I was sure if Uncle Daryl heard them too, he would have accepted his place in the group too.

"Would you be alive if nobody cared? You may have not had anybody before, but you have all of us now. We care, we'd risk our lives for you--Hell, you have for almost everybody already. You have a heart, you're alive, you've kept others alive, you're a fighter Tessa. It's about time you see it too. You have Glenn, you even have Nick too--you saved him Tess! He would have died!"

"So he's just nice 'cause he owes me?" I asked stupidly, still trying to fight her words, and the image of Nick's stupid smirk.

Maggie shook her head, and our blue eyes met. A serious look was on her face, but a smile tugged at her lips. "No, he's nice because you're you." I looked down to my boot-clad feet, not sure what to say. She placed an arm around me and softly said," Family, Tess. It ain't blood, but it's something." Family.

I finally smiled, and she smiled back. It was then I knew, and that she knew, that we were friends. Actual friends.

I turned off the water for the shower and stepped out, grabbing a towel. I dried myself quickly and threw my hair up in a tie. Besides undergarments, Maggie had grabbed one of the blue and black flannel vests I had picked up, a pair of black leggings, and my faithful boots. I slipped everything on before walking out of the bathroom and throwing the towel into the laundry. "Mags?" I called out to her and walked back into the sitting room. She stood up when she saw me. "Come on, let's go help Patricia with Beth," she said, and I nodded. We headed upstairs and sat with the two of them, Beth still not looking any better.

"Daddy needs to get here soon," Maggie whispered to herself. I silently agreed, looking at Beth's small face, staring blankly. Jimmy held her hand, wiping sweat from his forehead.

A loud engine sounded a minute later, and my head shot up. I stood quickly and looked out the window and saw the familiar truck and car driving into view. "They're back!" I said, a wave of relief washing over me. Maggie and I both ran out of the house, me leading the way. We came out the door with smiles, ready to greet them back. Nick was the first out of the car, his gun in his hand and moving away from the car. I ran to him with a smile and he quickly gathered me in his arms before letting go of me. I was about to question him on what happened, but my eyes widened in horror at the men carrying the bloody body of some random guy. "What the fuck?" I breathed out, my eyes going to Nick, who was standing with an unknown anger in his eyes.

"We have a little problem," he growled.


I feel like this chapter was kind of poop, but oh well, I also kind of like it. I loved writing little Tessa shit. And Nick shit. *sighs* I ship Nick and Tessa (and if you don't see where Nick/Tessa is going I'm kind of judging you.) Think of a ship name for them, I personally like Nessa.

What could this 'little problem' be in the form of Randall? Dun dun duuuuun. Take a guess, you're probably right.

TUMBLR FOR THIS FANFICTION! You can ask all of the characters in this story questions and they'll answer in character and you can see pictures that have given me muse, as well as get updates on this story and sneak peaks. I want to see if this gets popular, and might add my other stories later. Thanks guys! :)


I absolutely love this story! You probably won't update it ever again, but I would love if you did.

WelcomToTrash WelcomToTrash

So good but the Dixon's should bounce

dombast dombast

Andrea needs her ass kicked

dombast dombast

This is brilliancy

dombast dombast

This is brilliant

dombast dombast