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Dead Men Walking

The Grim Goodbye

03:
The grim goodbye
“She’s slowing us down.”
Daryl complained as he finished setting up his tent for the night.
“Watch your mouth, little brother.”
Merle warned.

It had been over a week and Daryl still hadn’t warmed up to me. In fact, I think he’s become even more distant. He always had a way of making me feel like I was imposing. I knew that Merle was happy to have me around but I knew Daryl would much rather see one of the undead take me for a snack. It hurt me. I put on a brave face and smiled most of the time, but it was hurting me to hear how much Daryl truly hated having me around.
More than that, he was starting to plant little negativities in my mind. I was starting to second-guess my place here with Merle and his brother.

“Why don’t you take her? I would rather sleep out here than share a tent.”
Daryl said in that irrationally angry voice he has.
“Cause I’ve been saving this stash for a rainy day. She doesn’t like to be around drugs. “
“We shoulda just left her to begin with. She can’t even defend herself without putting everyone in danger.”
“We put her in danger first, remember that?”

I appreciated Merle taking up for me, but Daryl was right. I choked when I tried to kill one of those … things. Merle thought it would be a good idea to show me how to defend myself. He gave me his knife and showed me how to hit the brain on the first try. Merle made it look so easy. One quick jab to the eye and the corpse collapsed. I thought I was ready. I thought I could handle it.
But when I was facing the terror that consumed my life, I choked. I could only look at the walking corpse coming toward me and see him as a person. I couldn’t see him as the truly terrifying threat he was. I only thought about what his life could have been before. Did he have kids? Was he married? Did he go through the same trouble and loss we did?
I couldn’t make myself raise the knife. It wouldn’t happen no matter how much I wanted to. I just kept seeing this body coming at me as a broken, tortured human that probably fought for his life.
Daryl could see I was not going to be able to kill him. He raised his crossbow; finger ready on the trigger, but Merle kept stopping him. He had confidence in me and I let him down. The man, if you could still call him that, lunged at me. He knocked me down and started viciously biting at my face. Instincts wanted to kick in and kill this hungry demon trying to bite at me, but I just shut down. My body stopped moving and I screamed. I screamed loud. Over and over again I screamed for my life.
That’s when we learned a valuable lesson – these things travel in packs.
I put us all in danger that day. Luckily Daryl was handy with a crossbow and Merle wasn’t afraid to face one of these things face to face. I couldn’t even push the dead corpse off me. I just cried. Merle pulled me from under the body and helped me back in the truck. He tried his best to comfort me by telling me it was okay; killing something is hard the first time.

I knew from that point on, I was holding the Dixon brothers back. I knew I would be the death of one or both of them if I didn’t learn to kill. But I wasn’t the violent type. I never even killed the spiders that would crawl into my room. I just couldn’t do it.
I knew my only other option.

Tonight has to be the night I leave and give both Merle and Daryl a shot at surviving.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to sleep in the truck.”
I said walking toward Merle. I smiled politely at Daryl, pretending I didn’t just hear the things he said about me.
“Fine by me.”
Daryl snorted.

“That isn’t a good idea, Kaydence.”
Merle said frowning. I gave him a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be fine. You’ll be right there if I need you.”

“I don’t like it. Something just doesn’t seem right about leaving you alone.”

That was the problem with Merle. He was too smart for his own good. No one ever gave him enough credit for that. He could see through my plans, and my lies, every single time. But I knew this lie was essential to his survival.

“I’ll be fine. Hell, I’ll be safer there than out in the open. I promise, I’ll still be the same human Kaydence in the morning. I’ll enjoy some alone time.”
I lied.
It was hard lying to Merle. I wanted to stay with my best friend, but I knew this is what was best. If I wanted him to have any chance of surviving this plague, I had to leave.

“Lock the doors. Don’t be afraid to get in a tent if you’re scared.”
“Better not be my tent.”
Daryl mumbled. I pretended to not hear him, again.

“Don’t worry so much. I’m gonna be fine.”

As nighttime came around and the Dixons were settled in their tents, I was preparing my exit.
I stuffed my pockets with things I thought I would need – small bits of food, the spare knife Daryl kept in the glove compartment, and a compass. I had no clue how to read the compass, but I thought it might be life saving later on.
When I was rummaging through the glove compartment, I found a pen and a small piece of scrap paper. I knew it was going to hurt Merle when I was gone in the morning, so I left him a note. It wasn’t a long note, it didn’t even say half the things I wanted it to, but it would tell him enough.

Merle,
Never thought it would be me running out on you, eh?
I know Im slowing you down. I cant hunt, or kill, or defend myself. Its better if I take my chances alone. Ill head to Atlanta on my own. If I make it, Ill meet you there. Save me a spot, k?

Love,
Kaydence

I left my tear-stained letter on the dash of the truck and gathered my few supplies. It was time for me to head out.
I closed the truck door as quietly as possible and walked past the sleeping tents. I stood at the edge of the forest and took one last look back at my only chance of surviving. I felt a tear roll down my face as I left my best friend behind.

Comments

This made me cry. Not even joking. (When Merle died)

DarylisBae DarylisBae
8/27/14

Pleaseeee update. I love this so much!

Skyebbyxox Skyebbyxox
1/10/14
Didn't expect that omg :-( love it though :-)
Ceeekes Ceeekes
11/15/13
OMG didnt see that coming. lol. crazyness.
LuLu LuLu
11/15/13
loved it
LuLu LuLu
11/5/13