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Dead Men Walking

I Can Make Your Heart Stop Beating

07:
I can make your heart stop beating
“Quit pouting.”
Daryl said throwing a string of squirrels at me.

“I’ll stop pouting when you admit this was a stupid idea.”

It had been days since Merle left. There was no sign of them at all. Everyone held out hope that they were still alive, but deep down we all suspected something went wrong.
Knowing Merle, it was probably his fault. He got bossy or just plain rude with the group and things went south. I wanted to go find him. I begged Daryl to take me, but he wouldn’t.

Keep to our chores.

He kept telling me to stick to feeding the group. He thought making friends with the remaining group would make it easier on me if anything happened. He doesn’t realize I’ll go crazy if they don’t bring Merle back to me.
Sometimes I honestly think Merle is right about Daryl – he has no backbone.
But then I feel guilty for thinking ill of the man that saved my life twice.

“He’ll come back. Just keep your mind busy, okay?”
Daryl tried to comfort me often. He just didn’t know what to say to me most of the time. He was more awkward than anyone I’ve ever met. He kept to himself mostly and only offered words of comfort when he saw me frown.
I didn’t mind Daryl trying to be there for us both, but he didn’t always make me feel better. Mostly, I just felt like a burden to him.

I tried to smile at Daryl as he left me with the string of dead animals. I frowned and went to skinning them for dinner. I tried my best to remember how Merle did it – get the squirrel wet first.
I picked up the string of squirrels and headed down to the river. I could see people all over the place fishing or washing laundry. I tried to stay as far away from them as possible. I didn’t want to be friends with anyone. I just wanted to make dinner and go back to my tent.

“Kaydence, right?”
Someone asked behind me. I jumped, dropping all the squirrels in the water at once.
“Dammit, now they’re all wet at once.”
I cursed fishing the line out of the water. A hand reached around me and picked the squirrels up for me.
I turned around, annoyed with whoever took the animals from me.
“Mind if we talk a minute?”
The man holding my squirrels asked.
“Sure, Shane. What’s going on?”
I asked, trying my best to smile without looking too angry with him.
“I know you’re mad at me for Merle leaving.”
He began.
“I’m not mad, Shane. I’m fucking annoyed. What do you want?”

Shane sighed and nodded.
“Some of the others are worried about you. I know you’re not part of this group and I can’t tell you what to do, but don’t go running off to find Merle.”
“I don’t think that would be any of your business if I did go to Atlanta.”
I said taking my squirrels from him.
“Now you just stay here where it’s safe, you hear me?”
“Look, I appreciate your concern, I really do. But If I want to go to Atlanta, no one can stop me. Especially not you.”
I said walking away.

Who did he think he was anyway? He can’t tell me what to do. I only listen to one person and he’s lost in Atlanta.
I threw the line of squirrels next to the fire and walked over to Daryl’s tent. If they wanted to dinner so bad, they could learn to cook it themselves.

I unzipped the tent and slid inside. Ever since Merle had left, Daryl had been staying in his tent and I took over Daryl’s. I wasn’t expecting Daryl to be in my tent.
“Can you go please?”
I asked him frustrated. I wanted to be alone right now. I was worried and pissed off.
“What’s wrong with you, cupcake?”
Daryl asked sarcastically.
“I’m sick of being around everyone and I just want to be alone for a bit. Is that too much to ask?”

Daryl stared at me for a minute before asking the one question I had been trying to avoid the last few days.
“Are you okay, Kaydence?”

Was I okay? I had no clue. I was a mess. I was scared and worried, but mostly angry. I was angry with Shane for letting this ridiculous trip happen to begin with – but being honest, I was angry at Merle. How could he leave me like this? How could he take a chance when the world is so fucked up already?
He left me. He left knowing he may not return. He left knowing I had no way of taking care of myself at all. I would have to rely on Daryl, the man who still harbors a hate for me deep down. How could Merle be so selfish?
I knew he was a selfish being. He showed that every time he would get drunk and steal from everyone in the bar. But he was never selfish with me. He and I took care of each other. I kept him from dying and he kept me from going off the deep end. How could I survive when my lifeline is risking his life for something we don’t even need?

“Kay?”
Daryl shook me lightly.
“You okay?”
He asked again.
“I’m fine.”
I lied.
“I’m just tired.”

Daryl, just like his older brother, could see through my lie. He frowned and slid closer to me, putting an arm around me awkwardly.
“I’m worried too, okay? But I know he’s fine.”
“You can’t be sure, Daryl. It’s scary out there. What if he was bit? What if those idiots he went with turned on him? What if they’re just trying to separate us so they can take over our camp?”
I had never voiced my worries out loud. I kept them all in my head, eating away at my entire psyche.
“He’s fine.”
“How do you know?”
I asked annoyed.
“Only Merle can kill Merle.”
Daryl said confidently.
“No human, living or dead, can take down Merle.”

I rolled my eyes but leaned my head on Daryl. I wasn’t used to be so close to the younger Dixon. It was weird, a little awkward even. But I needed comfort today. I needed someone to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear – everything would be okay.
I sighed and looked up at Daryl. He was looking down at me, his face showing confusion.
“Kay?”
He said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“I made a promise to Merle before he left. If anything happens to him, I’m going to protect you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He said seriously.
“Why are you telling me?”
I asked, honestly curious.
“Because I need you to stay around.”

I didn’t respond to him. I didn’t need to.
We just sat there, both of us awkwardly holding each other. It was the most comfort I had felt since Merle left.
I knew from then on that things with Daryl with me would never be the same.

Notes

I've been caught up in my ridiculous composition class the past few days and haven't had time to write. I'm also stuck on which way to take the story. Part of me wants to bring Merle back and rewrite the entire Walking Dead story line, but part of me wants to let Merle disappear and reshape things that way. Let me know in the reviews which way you think the story should go. I'll consider all reviews.

Thanks for reading guys(:

Comments

This made me cry. Not even joking. (When Merle died)

DarylisBae DarylisBae
8/27/14

Pleaseeee update. I love this so much!

Skyebbyxox Skyebbyxox
1/10/14
Didn't expect that omg :-( love it though :-)
Ceeekes Ceeekes
11/15/13
OMG didnt see that coming. lol. crazyness.
LuLu LuLu
11/15/13
loved it
LuLu LuLu
11/5/13