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I'll Keep You Alive If You Show Me The Way

Chapter 16: Made to Suffer

It was night time now, there was no sign of the others. Beth, Carl and I sat on the stairs loading guns while Hershel put Judith to sleep. Hershel joined us saying that Judith was asleep. I was even nodding off myself

"We have plenty of formula now, thanks to Harleigh," he nodded to me.

I gave him a tired smile. When was the last time I had slept? I was too tired to even remember.

"The others should be back by the end of this week right?" Beth asked.

"I don't think so," Carl replied.

I lightly smacked the back of his head.

"They'll be back, Carl. Rick always comes back," I told him.

He shrugged his shoulders fiddling with the gun in his hands. A shrill scream shocked the still air that had fallen.

"What was that?"

"Carol?" I asked standing up, ready to run to her aid. Hershel shook his head

"I'm going to go check it out," Carl said standing up.

Beth stood up also. I arched my eyebrow watching Hershel hold up his crutch.

"I can't let you go down there."

"My father would go."

Carl turned and looked up at me for support. I raised my eyes to Hershel who stared down at Carl. He nodded. I pulled my gun out of it's holster and checked it for bullets. Good to go.

"I'm coming with you."

Carl nodded and I followed him out of the cell block. I turned on a torch as soon as we reached the narrow hallways. The screams were like something out of a horror film. I kept close to Carl but not too close, I know he wanted to do this by himself but there was no way I was going to sit and wait around.

We carefully followed the screams with our guns ready to shoot. The screaming turned into sobs as our feet echoed through the empty corridors. Carl stopped outside the boiler room. He took a shaky breath. I placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm here," I whispered, I knew what that room was. Lori had died in there, he had told me earlier.

He closed his eyes and nodded once. He began to inch towards the door. A loud gurgle made us jump as a prisoner rounded around the corner, before I could lift my gun it was dead. Carl lowered his gun and gazed at the walker at his feet. We could hear more walkers down the corridor.

"That way," I said.

We walked down the hallway closer to the screams along with the groans and shrieks of geeks. Inside one of the rooms a dark skinned man was beating away walkers with a hammer. Carl rushed forward, I hesitated taking in the scene. Carl shot down a walker a woman was fighting off with a shovel. She gasped a little and turned around. The survivors all turned to stare at us.

"C'mon!" Carl yelled at them, they paused in shock.

"Hurry," I hissed.

One of the men picked up a woman. Carl and I led the way back to our cells. The man and woman fell to the floor.

"Hurry!" Carl called.

"Go, just go!" the man said in a state of panic.

"C'mon," I grumbled, hurrying over to help them up.

The woman with the shovel ran towards two walkers, hitting one over the head.

"Carl!" I shouted. He turned and shot the other down.

"Good man," I grinned at him holding the woman up.

We ran back to the cells. Carl swung the door open and we carried the woman inside.

"Oh god! Donna?!" the man on the other side of me cried as we put the woman down on the cold hard ground. "Is she dead?"

I backed away and stood beside Carl as they surrounded her.

"I'll take care of it," he said, holding up his gun.

"Whoa, kid," the man said, holding out his hand to Carl.

I stepped forward and pushed his hand away from him.

"She' doesn't have that long," Carl said.

I kept quiet. I looked at the youngest of the new group, he was staring at the ground trying to hold back tears. What if she didn't turn? I didn't.

"Who the hell are you?" the woman asked, followed by more questions.

"Look we can help you, first things first," I was a little surprised by how Carl was dealing with this.

He sounded too grown up and mature. I didn't say a word. I wanted to, I wanted to yell that I survived and show my old bite. But I had promised Daryl. So I bit my tongue.

"We take care of our own."

Carl and I gave them their privacy as the sorted themselves out. We joined Beth inside. I walked over to the stairs, hearing a loud creak behind me.

"Hey, what are you doing?" the woman asked.

"Kid, did you just lock us in?"

"Open the door."

"This room is secure, you'll be safe. You have food and water," he told them firmly. I sat down and watched as the woman approached the bars.

"Open this this door."

"I can't."

"C'mon man, we're not animals don't do this," she pleaded.

I rolled my eyes. She punched the bars.

"HEY! You can't just leave us in here! Open this door!"

"We wouldn't rescue you just to put you in more danger," I said clearly, rolling my eyes.

"Open it now!" she yelled, ignoring me.

The man named Tyreese pulled her away, speaking to her quietly.

"We don't want any trouble," he told Carl.

"Shouldn't we help them?" Beth asked.

"I did," Carl replied turning around and walking over to me. He sat down in front of me. I ruffled his hair.

"Proud of you," I smiled when he turned to face me. He nodded.

"I have to sleep," I yawned standing up.

"You can take Maggie's bed for now," Beth smiled at me, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

She was worried for her sister...

"Alright, tell Carol if she wants me to go on watch I will, just wake me up."


I helped Hershel as he dressed Allen's wounds. Tyreese, Sasha and Ben were planning Donna's burial.

"Just don't get too comfortable here," Hershel was saying.

I handed him his crutches as they stared at us with confusion and desperation. I followed him back into the cell, Carl locking the door behind us. Judith was wailing loudly in Beth's arms.

"May I take her?"

I asked. She gave me a relieved smile and handed Judith and her bottle to me. I sat down on the steps

"What are you crying about?" I asked, Judith rocking her back and forth.

She screamed back at me. I hummed and bounced her gently in my arms. Once she calmed down I started to feed her. Only Hershel was in the cell now, the others were on watch or were with Tyreese's group. Once Judith was asleep I carried her up the steps and put her in her little box. I approached Hershel, the need to blab about my bite bubbled up to my throat.

"I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air," I told Hershel, nearly tripping over my words.

Smooth, Harleigh, smooth.

"Alright," he replied, giving me a questioning look

I left the cells and and went outside. I had a headache, the air seemed to clear it just a bit. Carol was talking to Carl down by the gate. I sat against the wall, patting Sam who had just joined me and closed my eyes. The sound of car made me open them again. I went to grab my bow, I remembered it was broken and it hurt my heart. If my grandfather was here he'd slaughter me. I stood up watching them open the gate.

I relaxed and breathed out a sigh. Rick got out of the car and ran towards Carl hugging him. He then strode over to Carol placing a hand on her shoulder. I furrowed my brow. Had something happened? He put his arm around her and led her inside, embracing her as Carl tugged the gate closed. Axel and Hershel came out beside me as the car pulled up. Maggie ran to Hershel. Beth ran to Rick, hugging him and pecked him on the cheek. Maggie saw me but didn't stop to talk as she walked past me inside. Rick tore his gaze from the ground, spotting me.

"Harleigh," he whispered, his eyes wide with disbelief.

I smiled and walked towards him with my arms open. He hugged me tightly, laughing ever so slightly. We let go of each other and I smiled up at him. I frowned once I got a proper look at him. He had changed the most in the group.

"Go on in," he said.

I led Carl and Carol inside as he began to speak with Hershel. We all met up in our cell block. My eyes scanned the group, something was missing.

"Where's Daryl?" I asked. Carol wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Where is he?" I demanded from her.

"He's ok. He left with his brother, Merle," she said, sadly.

I stared at the ground, feeling something drop to my stomach. My heart? Rick came into the cells.

"Did he really?" I asked Rick, skeptically.

I remembered how I had told Daryl to tell the others I had found my sister if I had died from the bite. He looked me in the eye and nodded. I left it at that, still unsure. Beth handed Judith over to Rick.

"She kinda has Lori's eyes, don't you think?" Beth said.

Judith let out a little cry as Rick stared down at his daughter. He looked very uneasy as Judith continued to cry. He handed her back over to Beth.


I passed Carol more laundry and took the washed clothes and hung them along the railings.

"Got a knack for that," Carol said. I looked up thinking she was talking about me hanging up clothes. Beth had made her way up the stairs, holding Judith.

"Trying to do my part," she said modestly.

Carol began to talk about Sophia. I felt sad for her, I never met Sophia but Daryl had told me about her.


"Went lookin' for that girl everyday, Leigh, nearly died doin' it too," he had told me, sitting beside my bed in one of the armchairs.

"Was for nuthin', she was in the barn the whole time"

"It wasn't for nothing Daryl, Carol probably really appreciated it. Y'know, having some one who cared enough to risk their life for her daughter."

He shrugged his shoulders and continued to sharpen our arrows.


"She wouldn't have made it if Daryl hadn't of been here," Beth said, making me look, she glanced at me and continued. "He couldn't stand to lose anyone else"

I bit my lip, honestly if some one came up to me in the old world and said that a redneck could be a sweetheart I would've laughed in their face. That's what I got for being a snotty city kid.

One thing Daryl and I had in common before the end of the world was we were both ignorant of other people. I actually quite hated my old self now. I had changed, we were two completely different people.

"Sounds like him," Carol sighed.

"I don't see why he had to leave. Merle sounds like a jerk."

"People like Merle get into your head," Carol said, bitterly. "Make you feel like you deserve the abuse."

She looked over at me. I snapped my head back down at the clothes.

"Even for Daryl?" Beth asked.

I zoned out again. Yeah, even for Daryl. Once you get best his rough exterior he was soft inside. Like chocolate. I groaned internally for thinking about food at a time like this.

"We're weak without him."

"We'll get through this too. Besides, Harleigh's back now,"Carol said, sending me a small smile.

"I'm pissed at him for leaving."

"Don't be-"

"He'll be back," I said. Both of them looked over at me.

"He told me he would leave with Merle. But he's different now. He belongs here, that's why I came back. So will he," I reassured them.

Carol turned and took Judith off Beth. Beth's eyes bored into mine, to see if I was serious. Carol placed Judith into her cardboard cot then looked back at me.

"I really am glad you are back, Harleigh. And I hope you're right."


At nightfall I stood beside Rick as he spoke with Hershel who was checking in on a woman named Michonne. Rick locked Michonne into her cell. We joined Carol and Axel who were talking about Oscar, a prisoner who had died. I still didn't know what had happened, I hadn't had the time to ask. The group were discussing what to do.

"Sounds like they've got a whole town. We're out numbered and out gunned," Carol said.

Hershel then referred to Tyreese's group. We piled into the room where they were sitting, still waiting. I pitied them, they hadn't any idea what Rick was going to decide, no one did. They stood up slowly, turning to face us. I stood beside Carl and watched as Rick declined Tyreese's handshake. Hershel then introduced the others as Rick remained quiet, observing them. I didn't pay much attention as Rick finally engaged in conversation.

"They were lost in the tombs," Carl said.

"And you brought them here?" Rick asked, angrily.

"Rick," I warned. "Don't be mad at Carl. He did the right thing."

Rick's eyes fell on mine, he nodded and turned back to Tyreese. He talked calmer to Tyreese. Listened as he tried to make his case.

"No," Rick simply said, with a shake of his head.

"Please," Sasha begged. Rick paused for a moment.

"No," he repeated.

Hershel tried to help, along with Carol. Rick simply pushed their arguments away. He turned back. It seemed that the rest of the group wanted these people to stay. I wasn't pushed either way.

"I can't be responsible-"

"You turn us out, you are responsible."

Hershel called Rick over and talked quietly to him. Rick listened, he stayed quiet while he thought. We all waited. I placed my arm around Carl's shoulder. Rick let out a sigh and patted Hershel's shoulder. He looked like he was about to yes, but then his eyes went out of focus. He looked away from Hershel and past his head. He looked at the ground then back up again, with a startled expression. I frowned. He put a hand to his forehead.

"No. No, no, no," he whispered pinching the top of his nose.

"Rick? Are yo-" I began to ask. I was cut off by him.

"Why're y'here?" he asked, walking towards me.

I frowned at him about to mutter that I lived here as he past me by. We all turned as he walked closer to a balcony above us.

"W-what do you want from me?" he asked.

"Dad?" Carl asked, frightened. I tightened my grip on his shoulder, watching Rick.

"Why are you-" Rick started mumbling to the floor.

"I CAN'T HELP YOU!" he yelled, walking away from the wall. "Get out! Get out"


"Easy Rick."


I pulled Carl away from his screaming father who had taken out his gun.

"Relax! Relax! We'll leave," Tyreese said as everyone back away from him. He held up his hands shaking his head.

"We're goin'. Ain't nobody gotta get shot here."

Rick screamed more gibberish at no one in particular. Glenn began to push them out. I left Carl beside Maggie and walked carefully over to Rick.

"Harleigh, no," Hershel said.

I placed a hand on Rick shoulder. He jumped and stared at me like I was going to rip his shoulder off.

"Rick, give me the gun," I whispered. "You're tired."

My hand closed slowly around the gun. I removed it from his grip. I put it in the back of my jeans and looked up at him.

"She's gone, Rick," I said as quietly as possible.

"You saw her?" he asked, mimicking the volume of my voice. I shook my head. No, I hadn't.

"Do you want fresh air? We can talk."

He paused for a moment the nodded. I took his his hand and led him outside. Hershel placed a hand on my shoulder.


I nodded and opened the door leading Rick outside. Glenn had opened the gate for the group and they were now leaving. I led Rick out and sat down on the damp grass. He sat beside me taking slow deep breaths. I held his hand, resting it on my knee and massaging tiny circles on his hand with my thumb. We sat in silence, I listened to him mumble to himself. Glenn gave me a slight nod as he walked past.

"She's not real Rick. She's gone."

"I. Saw. Her." he said firmly.

"I know."

"How would you?" he growled.

"When I was nine, my best friend past away."

Rick looked up at me. His once piercing blue eyes were dull and full of sadness.

"I used to talk to her everyday. When I did something wrong I would tell people she made me do it," I laughed a little at myself.

"I grew out of it though... Rick, you will too. The hard part is that you don't have a lot of time to mourn. The group needs you. Carl and Judith need you."

He nodded. I pulled him in and hugged him.


You don't know how many times I went to write "I reached for my bow" I hate myself now :(
NOW THAT'S THE ONLY chapter written like that I promise :D
THANKS FOR COMMENTS... if your reading this and you haven't left me love then shame on you. Kidding. But I do love hearing from as many people as possible
thank you i love you okay x :)


I'm super sad because I've realized this may never get updated. It's legitimately the best story on this site

wolvesyroses wolvesyroses

Oh I really love this story. I hope it gets updated >< please update!

Gilyflower Gilyflower

This is the most amazing story ever on this site ever please update. Harleigh is amazing and you are a great writer.

reddeadwalker reddeadwalker

Amazing writing, as always.

SierraaDixon SierraaDixon

Holy crap please update!!! This is one of the best I've read in a long time!!!

elissa_mirinda elissa_mirinda