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I'll Keep You Alive If You Show Me The Way

Chapter 20: The Suicide Kind & The Tombs

Someone's warm hand was resting on my shoulder, shaking me awake. Sam growled loudly.

"What do you want?" I grumbled not looking up. If it was a walker, I didn't care.

"Get up," Rick's voice said.

"Why? So you can give me to the Governor?"

"No," he sighed. I sat up slowly, he sunk down beside me.

"Harleigh, you're right. I have no right to tell people what to do. I don't wanna be like the Governor. I'm sorry for even considering giving you and Michonne up. It was wrong and selfish of me,"

I nodded my head slowly, still sleepy. I ran my fingers through my hair, fixing it. He watched me closely, thinking. He pulled a hand down his face.

"What's wrong?" I questioned.

"I can't find Michonne or Merle."

"What the hell are we doin' sittin' here?! C'mon!" I sprang to my feet, grabbing his hand and helping him up off the floor.

We briskly made our way over to the group who were all sitting together. Daryl and I avoided each others gaze. Rick told the group everything. They're faces showed that they were shocked and hurt.

"I'm gonna go after 'em," Daryl says picking up his crossbow.

"Bring Harleigh, too," Rick says.

He catches my reaction.

"You're good with a bow. We need to be quiet," he explains.

I nodded with a slight sigh and Glenn passes my bow to me. I stroll behind Daryl, keeping my distance but also keeping him in sight. He never once looked back at me or spoke. He raised his crossbow and I looked to see Michonne walking towards us.

"He let me go," I heard her say.

"Don't let anyone come after me," he said walking past her.

I wasn't sure if I counted but what Rick says goes right? He told me to go with Daryl, I'll go. I walk up to Michonne.

"Alright?" I asked. S

he nodded a little and walked past me. She probably hated me since I hadn't been taken away from the prison.

I stumbled gracefully as ever after Daryl. I ignored the silence between us and surveyed the area around us. We were near the meeting place. Points to me for not being completely lost. Daryl disappeared around the corner. I trundled after him, tripping over my own feet and the long entwining grass. I finally caught up with him as I rounded a corner of a building.

Confusion hit me as I saw Daryl just standing still staring at a walker. I stopped walking.

Holy shit.

My heart stopped hammering in my chest and my breath was like a lump in my throat. Merle looked up from his half eaten carcass. It felt dreamlike, as if I was still up in my tower asleep. It was too strange, men like Merle and Daryl seemed invincible to me. My heart broke at the sound of Daryl whimpering softly. I didn't want to see this but I didn't want to leave him.

Merle's once outstanding blue eyes were dull and lifeless. He got up slowly, tripped over his meal and edged towards Daryl. I wanted to jump in and deal with it myself, but I knew Daryl had to do this. He seemed to shy away from his older brother at first. Once he got closer though, he pushed him away. I stayed quiet, watching the scene unfold.

Daryl grabbed the walker, pushed him to the ground, stabbing him multiple times in the head. He then rolled off him onto the ground, looking at his brother's lifeless body. I waited a moment before slowly making my way over.

I knelt down and crawled closer to Daryl. I just sat beside him. I didn't want to touch him, part of me was still pissed but the other part was so heart broken for him. I didn't know what to do. He was breathing heavily and sat up, putting his head between his legs. I reached over and rubbed his back gently. Cautiously at first, expecting him to flip out or something. But he didn't, so I moved closer. I placed my hand on his head and stroked his hair soothingly as a girl with muddy hands could.

"You did the right thing," I mumbled, unsure of what to do or say.

"Why'd 'e do it?" I heard him ask.

"Dunno."

He sniffed and sat up without looking at me. I kept my arm on his back.

"Let's go," he croaked.

I nodded and stood up with him. I took his hand and gave it a firm squeeze, letting go again. We made our way back side by side.

Everyone came out of their cells to greet us. Their smiles at our return fell when the noticed we had come back without Merle. Daryl went straight to bed without another word. Rick looked to me. I shook my head. Everyone knew what had happened without a single word spoken.

Michonne strolled out of her cell, she clutched one of the bars and nodded over at her. I joined her inside the cell. I felt horrible because I hadn't been taken. She flinched slightly, holding her head. I guessed Merle had clubbed her and taken her.

"I should've warned you," I said quickly and quietly, aware of how silent the group were. She shook her head and paused for a moment.

"Merle told me to tell you to look after Daryl," she said. I laughed slightly.

"Said he never met anyone who gave a damn about him like you do, that's why he only took me," she continued, quietly. "Also that you would have beaten the shit outta him."

I smirked slightly, saddened that we lost Merle. He was a crazy son of a bitch, but he was Daryl's brother. Maybe he could have changed like Daryl has.

"If I had known, maybe I could've stopped him."

"Not you're fault, Michonne," I reassured her. Silence fell and I took that as my cue to leave.

"Glad you're okay,"I mumbled before I left.

"Back atcha."

xxx

I pushed my bag into the boot of the car and made my way over to Rick. Carl came out and pointedly avoided us.

"What's wrong with him?" I whispered to Rick.

He shook his head and made his way over to another car where Glenn met him. I stared after Carl, wondering why he was so mad. I spotted Daryl and Carol talking over near the motorcycle. Jealousy ran through me like venom as she helped him off the ground. Their hands even lingered! Snap out of it, Harleigh, you're mad at him. I strolled past Daryl over to were Carl sat waiting, his arms crossed. I sat next to him.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I wanna fight. This is my home too," he mumbled.

"Carl, it's dangerous-"

"But I wanna fight along with you and Dad."

"I'm not fighting," I said.

A few of the others looked over, including Daryl. I had told Rick and Hershel.

"I'll be with you, Hershel and Beth."

"What? Why?" Carl asked. I paused for a moment looking at the ground.

"I don't want to fight my sister, Carl."

I looked him in the eye. "I don't really wanna fight anyone. If something happens to you Hershel or Beth out in the woods, I'll fight. But I can't risk shooting my own sister."

He moved his pursed his mouth a little and nodded his head, understanding me.

"Let's go," I heard Glenn say.

I stood up and made my way into a car. We drove into the forest where we were hidden. It was quiet. The silence was broken by an explosion. We watched as one of the watch towers burst into flames. I bit my lip, worrying like hell for everyone in the prison. I hoped the plan would work. It seemed to be good but there was just so many of them piling into our home. Sam was locked inside of one of the cars with Judith. I walked over to her to check on her.

"I should be there," Carl said.

"Do you think your sister really is there?" Beth asked me. I caught Hershel giving her a warning look

"Dunno."

We didn't continue the conversation as more and more gunfire filled our ears. All of a sudden it stopped. I jumped at the sound of twigs snapping. I raised my bow along with Carl and Hershel's guns. A young boy, one of many child soldiers I'm guessing, ran towards us and stopped when he saw us.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't shoot."

"Drop the weapon, son."

"Sure...here..."

I lowered my bow with relief.

"Take it," he said, handing it over to Carl who hadn't put his gun down.

"Carl," I said softly.

The guy looked over at me still trying to give his gun away. I jumped as he fell to the floor. All our eyes fell on Carl. He stared down at the boy he had just killed. I shook my head and began to walk back to camp. I entered the prison grounds quicker than I expected.

"Everything alright?" Rick asked frowning as I strode up past him in a daze.

I shook my head in shock. I couldn't believe Carl did that! He didn't even say anything he just frigging shot the guy! I sat down on a bench and rested my head in my hands. I just saw a child kill some one. The familiar feeling of nausea hit me. I shook my head and stood up again, grabbed my bags from the car that had just rolled up and walked into the cell block, flinging my bags back into my cell. Ten minutes later and everyone was inside. Carl walked past me stony faced. I looked past him to see Rick and Hershel talking. Hershel was shaking his head. Great, Rick was denying what his son had done.

"I'm telling you. He gunned that kid down."

Rick shook his head and looked towards me.

"He did Rick," I whispered. Hershel left us and Rick looked to me for advice.

"Just go and talk to him Rick," I sighed. I followed him outside but made my way over to Michonne who was packing the car with weapons.

"You coming with?" she asked. Daryl looked over at me.

"I dunno," I mumbled.

"You gotta. Look, Harleigh we'll find your sister," Daryl said.

I bit my lip. Did I want to find my sister? After everything that happened with her group?

"Ok."

I glanced over to Rick who was crouched down in front of Carl. Carl got up and left. Rick picked something up off the floor and looked over to me. Glenn told him that him and Maggie were staying behind, once he joined us

"Just the four of us? Alright," Daryl said, slinging a gun over his shoulder.

Rick mumbled something to them then came over to me. He slipped his hand into mine. Confusion set in as my hand felt something metallic between our hands. Rick looked down at me with a hurt expression. Everyone's eyes were on us. He let go of my hand. I turned towards Daryl's bike opening my hand. Daryl and I still hadn't spoken properly yet so he wasn't looking at me. In my hand was a golden star, a sheriff's badge. I pushed it into the front of my jeans pocket and swung my leg over the back of the bike.

Glenn and Maggie opened the gate and we sped off down the hill and out of the entrance. We hit the road and followed it along for ten minutes. Stopping only because there were military trucks in the middle of the road. Had they been waiting for us? I peered around Daryl's shoulder. Something wasn't right. Bodies littered the side of the road. There had been a massacre. Daryl and I got off the bike as Michonne and Rick joined us.

"These are Woodbury survivors," Michonne stated.

I strode over to feasting walker, slaying it with my machete. I kicked him away from it's meal.

"No," I whispered moving on to the next.

I heard Michonne hacking away at them behind me as I continued my search. I rolled another body over with my foot and checked it's face before plunging my machete into it. I blew strands of hair out of my face, aware of Daryl, Michonne and Rick's eyes on me. I checked two more bodies before hearing a bang behind me. I looked around to see Daryl duck, then turn and swing the door open. A woman stepped out of the truck with her hands up. I rushed towards her and grabbed her jacket collar.

"Where's Sarah?" I spat at her.

"Who?"

I slammed her into the side of the truck.

"Sarah! My sister!"

The woman stared wide eyed at me with her hands still raised. Her eyes searched the surrounding area.

"I'm the only survivor," she whimpered. I shoved her again and stepped back.

"Sarah?!" I called out to the dead.

A newborn walker stood up, it took my brain a moment to register that it was Tyler. I shot an arrow through his eyeball. I trudged over to retrieve it, ripping it out of his head.

"Sarah?!" I called again. Still no reply.

"Leigh, we have t-"

"No, Rick. I have to find her. Go with out me."

"Hell no. We'll wait," Daryl spoke. I nodded a thanks to him.

And to think, if I had went with my sister's group I would have wound up here. I knew all along this would happen. I shook my head and surveyed the bodies. There was one seriously loud walker. I shot and arrow through the grey mess of hair, only when I went to retrieve my arrow did I see that it was Bertha. Also from my sister's group. My eyes cast down on her dinner.

I felt myself sink to my knees. I stared down at her cold, pale, sweet face. Her neck and whole torso ripped to shreds. Stuff that I never wanted to see spilled out on the ground around her. Her blood soaking my jeans. I heard footsteps beside me, bringing me out of my trance. I stared down at her, almost awestruck. I wanted to look away, but was like watching a car crash. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I felt my hand move to hers, rubbing soothing circles on them. Cold as stone, pale as a sheet of paper and slick with blood. Her eyes still held the same shade of grey, almost the same as the sky above us. There was no life in them, empty, reflecting the clouds rolling slowly by. Some one knelt down beside me and wrapped a warm arm around my waist.

"Harleigh... I'm so sorry," Rick whispered.

I reached down and touched her face, my fingers grazed over the bullet hole in her forehead. I stood up slowly feeling Rick's warm hand on my lower back. I felt numb. I felt like my world had ended. Sure, my sister made mistakes, but I loved her. Judging from the remainder of her I could tell the Governor had beaten the shit out of her. Still, she found a way to warn me, by telling them our grandmother always left us notes. She protected me and all I did was abandon her. I stepped over her body and walked towards the trees, Rick closely behind.

"Harleigh are you-" the rest of his sentence was cut off by my violent vomiting.

I heard fabric tear over the sounds of me emptying my last meal. Rick handed me a piece of cloth which he had ripped from his t-shirt. I wiped my mouth with it gently, one arm still wrapped around my stomach. Rick rubbed my back roughly.

"Get it all out," he murmured.

A bottle was shoved into my face by Daryl. I took a gulp, washing out my mouth and spat it out. I felt like I was going to freak out, I could feel the panic rise in my chest and into my head swamping me with unbearable pressure. I wanted to scream, I wanted to kill but most of all, I wanted revenge. I tried to form a sentence but my mouth just moved like a fish out of water.

Rick pulled me into an embrace, which I returned. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face into his chest, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. He continued to rub my back and my hair, murmuring apologies and trying to convince me everything would be okay. I pulled away not looking at either of the men and walked back to the bike and sat down. Daryl came over, his eyes trying to make eye contact with mine but I stared at the ground. He slipped on in front of me.

"Y'gon' hold on?" he asked.

No, I hope I fall off. I felt so guilty and horrible. I wanted someone to kick the crap out of me. The roar of the bike hit my ears, I held on to the sides of the bike.

xxx

We were now walking towards Woodbury, treading carefully and quietly. If there was anyone left they would open fire and kill us all. I stuck to the back, keeping an eye out to make sure no one came leaping out of the bushes at us. I had my bow ready, my hand anchored under my chin as we steadily made our way to the familiar wall of Woodbury. A pot exploded next to Rick , causing him and Daryl to shoot at the wall. We ducked down behind a broken down car as they reloaded their guns. Everyone fired more shots.

"TYREESE! It's me-!"

"GET DOWN!"

"KAREN! Karen are you ok?!" a somewhat familiar voice shouted through the dark. Karen stood up again with her hands raised.

"I'm fine!"

"Where's the Governor?"

"He fired on everyone!" I felt Daryl's gaze pierce the side of my head. "He killed them all!"

There was silence after said these words out loud. Daryl looked to Rick.

"Why are you with them?!"

"They... saved me!"

"We're coming out!" Rick hollered.

Michonne and I slowly stood up after the men. Rick had his hands up in the air, while Daryl had his crossbow aimed at the wall. I put my bow down and shuffled out from behind the car with Michonne. Rick led the way forward, the gate swung open. Tyreese and Sasha came out.

"What are you doin' here?" Tyreese asked.

"We were comin' to finish this. Until we saw what the Governor did."

"He...He killed them?"

"Yeah. Karen told us Andrea hopped the wall. Going for the prison. She never made it... she might be here."

Tyreese nodded and stood aside for us to enter the camp. I followed Rick through the normal-looking town down the back where there was a building. We followed down the side of the building to a door. He opened the door and led us inside.

"This is where they had Glenn and Maggie," Rick explained to me. I nodded keeping close to him.

Down the corridor was a steel door, my eyes fell to the ground. Deep red liquid had pooled outside of the door. Rick looked back at us before reaching out and unlocking the door

"1...2-"

Creak. The Milton guy who had been interrogating me about my bite lay beside what looked like a torture chair.

"Andrea," Michonne whispered before rushing inside.

We all crowded in around her. She was speaking but I was too distracted by the bite on her neck to listen to any of the conversation. Rick would look back at Daryl and I every couple of seconds. Michonne was trying to hold back her tears as Andrea spoke.

"No one can make it alone now," she looked up at Daryl.

"I never could," he said.

I felt him step a little closer to me. I felt like I was intruding, I didn't know this woman and all I could do was stare at her. I averted my eyes to the puddle of blood.

"I just didn't want anyone to die... I can do it myself."

"No."

"I have to, while I still can."

My head snapped back up.

"Please. I know how the safety works..."

Rick reached down to his holster. I grasped his shoulder. He looked up at me as Andrea took the gun.

"Rick what if-"

"No, Harleigh," Andrea choked. "It can't be patched up."

I nodded slowly. Andrea then looked up at Daryl then to Rick.

"Keep an eye on her. The words gotten out... people could come looking for her."

Daryl, Michonne and Rick nodded. I frowned a little. Honestly, how many people could know? And anyways what would they even be able to do about it. Then I remembered how there were still sick minded people out there. We were silent again for a moment.

"I tried," Andrea whispered.

"You did... you did," Rick said, standing up.

I spotted a glimmer of a tear on his face as he turned to face the door. Rick and I followed Daryl out the door, closing it behind us. We stood outside and waited for the gunshot, my eyes focusing on Daryl chewing his nails. There was a short snap of a bullet and a clink of a shell along with Michonne's muffled crying. Daryl moved his face to the palm of his hand. My eyes tore away from him as he looked up. Michonne opened the door. She came out holding the gun and closed the door shut behind her. I frowned remembering something.

"What about the other survivors?" I asked.

Rick evaluated everyone in the room before he nodded and led us out of the building. I made sure to wrap my arm around Michonne's waist, tightening to comfort her. She sniffled and returned the one arm hug. Tyreese led us to the other survivors. All together we had about fifteen people join our group. Daryl had found a bus and pulled it up to the building. We helped the survivors, many of whom where elderly to get their things and put them on the bus. Once everyone was ready I hopped onto the bike behind Daryl, clutching onto him as we sped off towards the prison as the sun began to rise.

Notes

back to making stuff up now! please show me that you like this so far if you're reading :) means a lot
thanks! x

Comments

I'm super sad because I've realized this may never get updated. It's legitimately the best story on this site

wolvesyroses wolvesyroses
1/17/16

Oh I really love this story. I hope it gets updated >< please update!

Gilyflower Gilyflower
3/25/15

This is the most amazing story ever on this site ever please update. Harleigh is amazing and you are a great writer.

reddeadwalker reddeadwalker
10/21/14

Amazing writing, as always.

SierraaDixon SierraaDixon
3/22/14

Holy crap please update!!! This is one of the best I've read in a long time!!!

elissa_mirinda elissa_mirinda
3/16/14