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I'll Keep You Alive If You Show Me The Way

Chapter 60

"Can I trust you to stay here and not get killed?" I asked Colin.

"You're leaving me home alone? Oh, joy! I'll invite all my friends over and have a huge party! Get this cabin pumpin'!"

I narrowed my eyes at the man who hasn't moved from his bed in abut three days.

"I need Anna with me, since fish isn't satisfying your taste."

"Your cooking is atonishing, Harleigh... but we've been eating fish for breakfast lunch and dinner. I'll go nuts if I see another one of those scaley bastards."

I handed him a loaded handgun, smiling ever so slightly. He pushed himself up into sitting position. Anna handed him a book that she found in the cabin. He turned his nose up at it, flicking through the pages.

"Be careful," I said to him, opening the door.

"Yes, mammy."

"Watchit."

Anna shut the door behind her and we set off into the woods. We had holed up in the cabin for some time now, unsure of what to do. Anna wanted to head back to the prison, thinking maybe the others had returned for a vehicle or supplies. The swarm of walkers may have died down but we didn't want to risk it. Colin moaned on about finding a hospital, but I knew those places were a death trap. As for me, I really wanted a nap. I had stayed up all night worrying, which was of course, very stupid. I had a headache and I couldn't think straight. However, the thoughts of having another fish meal also made my stomach turn, having already had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday I really didn't want a repeat of that. Sam trotted happily alongside us. Maybe I should have made him stay with Colin. I shook my head. He was a grown man, he can take care of himself for an hour or so.

"Hey Harleigh?" Anna asked from behind me.

"Mmm?"

"Should we look for the others while we're out here? Like, we don't have to go out of the way but... y'know."

"We'll see what happens."

The forest was deserted, we were the only beings wandering around aimlessly. I couldn't see any tracks or concentrate long enough to find some. I was constantly and involuntarily glancing at my stomach. I was scared shitless. There's a list of reasons. I could die. The baby could die. If I ever find Daryl he might just die hearing the news. Oh, Christ. He'll go bat shit. Part of me didn't want to find him. Colin, Anna and I could just live in our crappy little cabin. I could maybe venture further, find some supplies, weapons. But, no. My mind kept wandering back to Daryl. I wondered if he was still alive. Did I really wanna think about this? Did I want to know what happened to the others? Did I want to think about the idea that their dead? Like Hershel? What if Daryl's dead? I probably wouldn't believe it 'til I saw a bullet in his skull, but what if he was? Or worse? What if-wait. Where the hell am I?

I looked over my shoulder to Anna, who was blindly following me. I couldn't be a mother. No. I rubbed my arm where my damn implant was meant to be. Maybe it had run out? Maybe I hit it off something? Can they even break? Maybe I was losing my mind... yes. I was pretty sure I had plenty of time. I nodded a little to myself, not feeling any more reassured.

I snapped back to reality and away from the what ifs and maybes. I should stop trying to drive myself crazy. That's just not going to help. I gently placed my hands on my belly. Did I like the idea? Did I ever like the idea? What about a baby in this world? Judith seems happy enough- right, Judith. I sighed to myself. What happened to her? Seriously, where am I?
I looked for Anna again, but I couldn't find her.

"Anna?... Anna?!" I called.

I stopped walking again, furrowing my brow. Time to wake up. I moved my hands to my bow and quiver, loading it to be ready. The forest was dead silent. The only sound was Sam snuffling around at the bottom of trees. My eyes scanned through the trees, trying to figure out which way I came from and where Anna went. Well, crap. The whole damn forest looks the same. Unbelievable. I really thought I had gotten better at this. I thought- what was that? I spun on my heel to face the direction of the shuffling. A putrid stench waved through the air, alerting both myself and Sam that they were there. I turned away from them and began to walk, perhaps they have yet to notice me. Sam trotted along at my heels, carrying a large stick in his mouth.
"Not now, Sammy," I murmured, squinting through the trees. As if he understood, he dropped the stick. I was about to laugh when I heard him growl. A ferocious growl that damn near scared me to death.

"Okay, I'm sorry but we don't have time for fetch, boy. We are lost."

My dog suddenly stopped walking, planting his paws firmly in the ground. I looked back at him, mystified by his strange behavior.

"What is it, Sam?" I asked, frowning.

He turned and bounded off through the trees. I bit my lip for a moment, maybe I should just let him go... No, I can't do that. I should find Anna but many times has that dog saved my ass now? I'm no use to anyone dead. I dashed after him, my boots cracking every twig and alarming every flock of birds in the damn country. If the walkers didn't know about me before they sure do now. I resisted the urge to shout for Sam to return, because he wouldn't. I would be wasting my breath. I could just barely see him, shooting through the trees like a supersonic arrow. He ran out of my sight, but I continued to follow, hoping to catch up. I took a tumble, down a slope and landed down on my ass. I groaned in pain, trying to find my footing but my boots slipped in the mud. I slopped around in it for an embarrassingly long time but all I did was cover myself in it. Sam clumsily hurried back to me from the other side of the dip. He started barking madly, deafening me.

"Sam! Shut up!" I hissed.

I let out an anguished sigh when he howled louder. I tapped him on the nose hoping that would work but no.

"Sam! Please! Shut up!" I said, desperately. I felt like I was going to cry. Stupid dog was going to get us both killed. I heard shuffling growing louder and louder. I fought to stand up again but slid further into the dirt. Sam continued to make a racket. I clenched my jaw and loaded my arrow again. If he wasn't going to shut up, then I was going to have to put him down. I aimed the arrow at him, my knuckles turning white from my grip. I watched him bark three more times. I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to-

"Wha're y'doin'?!"

WHOOSH, my arrow flew out of my grasp and soared into the air, skewering itself into a tree trunk. At first, I stared wide eyed at Sam, who, covered in dirt, had now stopped barking. I then looked up to the two people looking down at me.

"D-Daryl?" I asked, astonished, amazed... frightened?

He slid down the back and into the muddy river, trudging over to me. Beth looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm stuck," I pointed out.

"I can see tha'," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

I stared up at him in awe, like he wasn't really standing here. I think I believed I'd never see him again. He leaned down and scooped me up in his arms and carried me up to Beth. He sat me down on the ground so I could regain my breath. He and Beth stood over me, silently watching.

"Have you seen Anna?" I asked between gulps of breath.

I clutched my stomach leaning forward slightly.

"Anna made it?" Beth gasped.

"Yeah, Colin too."

"Daryl! This means the others may have made it out!"

"Well, yeah? Have you met Michonne?" I joked, getting to my feet.

Daryl stared at me silently. I placed a hand on my hip and looked to Beth.

"Was someone being difficult?"

Beth laughed quietly, which I took as a yes.

"Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No, I'm ok... I just panicked I guess."

I regretted making eye contact with her. I felt a wave of pity wash over me. "I'd hug you but I'm covered in dirt."

Beth gave me a small smile and opened her arms. I embraced her tightly, hearing a little sob escape her lips. She broke away and wiped her eyes.

"I'll give you guys a moment."

Please, don't. Who knows what my big mouth will let slip.

I folded my arms and nodded, turning to Daryl. Please don't say anything stupid, please, just don't-

"Hey there."

Hey there, she says. That's it? I cringed a little. Daryl obviously saw because he scoffed, shaking his head.

"Hello," he greeted.

"You're alive... that's cool."

Someone punch me now.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Did y'think I wouldn't be?"

"I dunno," I shrugged. He rolled his eyes and lifted my chin up.

"I'm covered in dirt," I pointed out yet again.

You know, in case he didn't have eyes in his head. He pressed his lips to mine, I could feel him smirking. Glad I amuse him, but I am so disorientated it's just no fun for me. I respond to his kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Good to see y'rokay, Leigh," he murmured. "Or a'least the parts of ya that ain't muddy."

"Oh, haha. Hilarious as usual."

He smiled down at me, letting me know that he was happy I was okay. Of course he is. He is going to go nuts when I tell him. If I tell him. If it is even true. Daryl's smile faltered.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Not yappin' th'head off me," he smirked, walking after Beth.

"Have I ever told you that I hate you?"

"A few times," he replied. "Which way did Anna go?"

"She was right behind me and then she wasn't."

"She can't be far."

I glanced down at Sam wondering if he would take off again.

"What were you doing down there?" Beth asked.

"I fell," I grumbled.

"I know, I mean, with-"

"I was going to shoot him."

Beth actually stopped walking. Daryl slowed down, looking to see what was wrong. I sighed and turned.

"What?" I asked.

"You're serious?"

"He was making noise," I reasoned.

Beth stared at me with her jaw hanging.

"What's the problem?" I frowned.

"Just... I've been thinking about Judith, if she made it y'know? I was hoping you had her..."

"What the hell has the dog gotta do with Judith?"

"She's going to be crying... If you had her would you have killed her?"

I gawped at Beth. Where was this coming from.

"Are you really asking me that?"

Beth raised her chin. "Yes, I am. I'm worried about her."

"That's if she even made it," I snapped, striding up to Beth. "That kid has been damn burden since Lori conceived her."

I felt Daryl's hand on my shoulder. I realised was clutching my knife tightly in my hand. I took a step back from Beth, shrugging Daryl off.

"Sorry," I muttered.

I walked away from them, turning my mind back to Anna. Hopefully she headed back to the cabin after we got separated. I led Daryl and Beth back to where we were staying. I didn't look at them or talk, I felt too ashamed. I wasn't sure why I reacted like that. I stopped walking, seeing the cabin. Trails of left over walkers led up to the door, where three stood, hammering on the door.

"HEY! ASSHOLES!" I screamed, grabbing their attention.

They each turned, heads rolling of their shoulders. Daryl and I took them out within seconds. I knocked on the cabin door before swinging it open. Anna stood in the middle of the room, pointing a gun at me. I raised my hands slightly.

"Where the fuck did you go?" I demanded.

"Didn't you hear a gunshot?" Colin asked, rolling off the bed.

He gave a little jump noticing Daryl behind me.

"Christ, I thought he was another one."

Anna lowered her gun and ran to Beth, embracing her.

"I didn't hear any gunshot..." I mumbled with a frown.

"I did, I told you it was Colin... I heard you running so I thought you were behind me," Anna said, one arm still around Beth.

"Sorry, I must've been... preoccupied or something."

Daryl was frowning again, his eyes studying me closely. I turned away from him to Colin who perked an eyebrow at me. I shook my head.

"Are you good to move?" I quickly asked.

Colin nodded, pushing himself up onto his feet.

"What's the plan chief?"

I looked to Daryl. He shrugged.

"I saw a station not far from here, there might be food or a car," Anna said.

We agreed on that. There was no point in standing around and looking at one another.

The station was out of gas with one rusty car sitting outside. Daryl and I made sure the inside was clear before the rest followed. Since it was basically in the middle of nowhere it hadn't been ransacked, with one walker but a horrible stench of gone off goods. I was grabbing any cans I could find and stuffing them into my bag. I looked over the shelf to see Colin beckoning me over. I sighed, what now. He was holding a box which I quickly snatched off of him.

"What the hell?! Don't wave that shit around!"

"Take it! There's a bathroom around back, I've already cleared it out. Anna will go with you."

I ran my hand down my face. This could either be really comforting or I will know for definite that I'm pregnant.

"Fuck you."

Anna waited outside the door while I waited for the pregnancy test to do something.

"Anything?" she called.

"No! Noth-"

My heart took a leap in my chest. I picked up the box again looking for which sign meant positive. I through it and the stick onto the ground, covering my face in my hands.

"Harleigh?"

I swore loudly and swung my fist at the mirror, smashing it. I stepped back shakily and leaned against the wall. Anna slowly opened the door. She crouched down beside me, rubbing my back as I sobbed into my knees.

"Goddammit," I muttered.

"We'll think of something, it's going to be okay."

"Oh fuck," I breathed, panic rising in my chest.

I dug my fingers into my scalp until it hurt.

"What am I gonna do?"

"Tell Daryl," Anna said, swinging her backpack off. "Give me your hand."

"I can't tell him!" I said, reaching my hand towards her. She began to patch me up. "He's going to be so angry. He's already freaked about the prison-FUCK!"

"You'll have to tell him eventually."

"I know," I mumbled.

"C'mon."

I got to my feet and turned to her. "Does it look like I was crying?"

Her eyes quickly ran over my face and she shook her head. We found the others standing outside the shop waiting for us. I noticed Anna's nod to Colin and how his shoulders slumped. We walked along the road, quietly. My heart sunk when Daryl fell into step beside me.

"What happened to your hand?" he asked, his voice low.

I felt my nerves shake as I lifted my hand to look at the bandage.

"Uh, when I left the pri-"

"Don't bullshit me," Daryl said, grabbing my shoulder.

He stopped walking, turning me to face him. He stared down at me awaiting an answer.

"Daryl..." I mumbled.

"What is it? Leigh, are you okay?" he frowned, concerned.

I placed my hands on my head and took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

I heard Beth gasp somewhere off in the distance. Daryl gave me his back.

"At the house, tha' time," he mumbled.

"I didn't know then, I made that up to get away from those guys..."

"An' you know for definite?"

"I just took a test," I whispered.

Daryl began to pace, the thing he does when he tries not to lash out at me.

"When were you gonna tell me?"

"I dunno, I was, I dunno."

"Christ," he muttered, pressing his hands into his hips. "What about the thing y'told me about?"

"The implant must've ran out of hormones-"

"Goddammit, Harleigh! I told ya! I fuckin' told ya this would happen!" he kicked an empty can in a fit of rage.

I hugged myself, staring at the ground. I took a shakey breath. I listened to Daryl's footsteps as he continued to pace. They stopped in front of me, making me flinch.

"Let's keep movin'," he grunted.

With that he took off with great speed, passing the others on his way.

That evening Colin, Anna and I sat on the roof of a cabin Daryl and Michonne once came by. Beth was in desperate need for a drink and I didn't blame her. After searching an empty golf club and finding nothing up to Daryl's standards we left. Beth was awfully upset every now and then. Daryl and I kept out of that. I heard her mutter to Anna and Colin that she was glad they were there. There was tremendous tension not only between her and Daryl, since they were polar opposites but Daryl and I barely spoke a single word, or looked at each other. He and Beth were below us now, I needed to get away from that and apparently, so did my two companions. To occupy myself I was teaching Beth how to roll a cigarette.

"This is bad," she giggled.

"Might as well live on the wild side, while ya can," Colin grinned, taking a swig from a whiskey bottle.

Anna coughed and spluttered on the smoke new to her lungs. She groaned and gagged.

"Gross!"

Colin and I laughed at her. I picked up a lose tile a chucked it at the walker reaching up towards us. It stumbled backwards before walking into the cabin's wall trying to reach us.

"How can such stupid creatures have taken over the world?" I questioned.

"Sure, they're just modern day politicians," Colin replied.

I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Do you think he's done being mad at me?"

"Daryl? He shouldn't be mad in the first place, half of it is his."

"We could find pills," Anna said, staring at the smoke floating out from the cigarette.

We both turned to face her.

"What's that I hear?" Colin whispered, cupping his ear. "Its the sound of Holy Smokes losing her religion."

"I ain't lost nothing!" Anna retorted. "I'm just saying. Its your choice 'n' all."

"I doubt I'm going to live nine months anyways," I shrugged.

I heard Sam bark loudly under us. I thumped the roof under me twice and listened for a return knock, but the front door of the cabin burst open. I quickly got to my feet. Daryl was yelling and Beth was screaming at him to quieten down. I glanced below us to see where the walker went. I crept along the edge searching, but Daryl's shouts were getting louder. I gawped at the pair below me. What on earth was he doing. He had his arm around Beth's neck, she was obviously scared of either him or the walker pinned to the tree. I quickly took out my bow and arrow and shot the walker.

"What the hell did y'do tha' for?!" Daryl snarled at me.

I dropped from the low roof.

"What do you mean? You're scaring her!" I snapped back.

"We're jus' havin' fun!"

"No, you were being a jackass!"

Next thing I know they both screaming at each other. I watch looking from one to another like a tennis match. Back and forth back and forth. Damn, Beth was holding her ground longer than I expected.

"Daryl just stop!"

"No! The Governor rode right up t'our gates! I stopped lookin'! That's on me."

"Don't be stupid," I grumbled. "If we start thinking like that, then it's on me. I had him. I could've killed him."

Daryl suddenly seemed to remember I was standing there. I felt Anna and Colin's shadow shift over me.

"Wha're we gonna do? Y'pregnant and I don't know how to keep y'safe. What if it kills ya? Like Lori-"

My heart sunk at the same time his voice cracked. He wasn't mad at me, he was scared. Beth's frail arms were embracing him within seconds. He covered his face with his hands trying to hold it together. I wrapped my arms around them both, rubbing Beth's back. Daryl buried his face into my shoulder, hot tears hitting my skin.

Notes

I'M ALIVE! Howdy doo guys. I know I suck, but it's not my fault. School was the problem so feel free to burn it down so I can be free again. I'm sorry this took so long and I'm sorry it's probably not edited very well but I'm wrecked. I was thinking of just leaving the whole tv show plot line because it's actually harder to keep to it than to think up of my own plot so I'mma do that and just ad bits of the show in now and then when it suits. Yep. Thank you for reading

Comments

I'm super sad because I've realized this may never get updated. It's legitimately the best story on this site

wolvesyroses wolvesyroses
1/17/16

Oh I really love this story. I hope it gets updated >< please update!

Gilyflower Gilyflower
3/25/15

This is the most amazing story ever on this site ever please update. Harleigh is amazing and you are a great writer.

reddeadwalker reddeadwalker
10/21/14

Amazing writing, as always.

SierraaDixon SierraaDixon
3/22/14

Holy crap please update!!! This is one of the best I've read in a long time!!!

elissa_mirinda elissa_mirinda
3/16/14