Wasn't Born an Angel
Chapter 43: Caught By the Light
~Author's Note: Hey guys, just a little bit about this chapter. It picks up from last chapter with Daryl's POV of the events with Beth. This whole chapter is going to have dual POVs which I feel is important in certain situations. This is an intimacy chapter. I haven't really done much intimacy at all in this story, but if you read "I Will Follow..." you've read how I handle intimacy. Some readers like how I write it, some don't. For me, writing things like this is a very almost personal experience that sometimes makes me feel self-conscious, but with this chapter, I 100% love the way it turned out. It did exactly what I wanted and needed it to do for Daryl and Beth. Please be aware though, that this is a Daryl-centric chapter. I think you could probably gather that from the way it was set up from last chapter...but the focus is on Daryl. Beth isn't going to be neglected in the future...I promise! Anyway, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!~
"Ummph..." Beth's little squeak...her surprise when he jerked her into him, ramming everything up all nice and close...not in the right place...she was too little, but tight enough it didn't matter.
No one was hiding nothin' now...that little squeak, it maddened him but centered him too. She asked for this, but Daryl had to remind himself that wanting...needing something and knowing what it was like were two very different propositions. Beth didn't know.
Slow...go slow, Daryl told himself, fighting back animal instinct.
Beth was a woman, but she was young...needed to be taken care of...treated the right way. That was his job...and he was more than willing to worship her in the way she needed...as a woman, not a sanctified object that couldn't be touched...afraid that he was gonna taint her. He just had to worship her carefully. Beth needed to be touched and loved and worshiped in the way she deserved.
But shit...he had no fucking idea how in the hell to do that. Why was there no instinct for that?
Daryl remembered...made himself remember...soft...when he'd been soft with her before, she responded. Soft...when his hands softened on her hips, she melted back into him. He tried, tried to be calm and smooth and gentle, steadying her with a hand splayed across her smooth tummy, Beth's shirt hitched up a little so part of his palm got to settle on her warm skin.He needed to feel her breast, that small firm peak cupped in his grasp, her upturned nipple hardening when he barely swept his thumb over her...Beth coming alive under his touch...Daryl wishing it was just skin on skin. Her hips...hand on her hipbone...she was little, felt so fucking breakable, but her lithe little frame did things to him that he couldn't even begin to understand. Beth gripped him then, that sudden contact, her reaching back, grabbing his thigh...fingers digging deep into hard muscle. She squeezed, hard enough he felt her the way he needed, a low rumble rising in his chest...a growl escaping...this girl...she was...he just wanted to...
Daryl's instinct was playing devil on his shoulder and his heart playing angel.
Craving closeness just as much as his cock wanted to sink balls deep into her, Daryl nuzzled her silky hair, finding her face, pressing his stubbly jaw up against the softness of her cheek. Not wanting to take his hand from the sweet pleasures of her breast but needing to take more of what she'd given him...her offer to immerse himself in all that she was...satisfy what she needed too...he had no choice but to move on. Beth's long slender neck in his grip, feeling her pulse racing in his palm...it made him feel alive. Sniffing her, taking in her scent, breathing hot and heavy against her neck, wanting to lay his lips against that delicate, sensitive flesh...Daryl knew if he allowed himself the intimacy of kissing any part of her now, he might lose himself, lose his ability to think. If he did that, he would be no good to her, and this was about Beth.
Fuck it...he kissed her anyway, sucking softly at her neck, nobody to judge him if he left a mark.
Beth's breathing was just as labored as his was, and he went there...went there quick, slipping under her jeans. Maybe too quick, but that's what she wanted...begged for...
Daryl...I need you to...touch me. Please...
That's what she meant, and he didn't have the restraint to make a game of it...tease her...'cause he wanted to touch her just as much as she needed to be touched. Just his full hand pressed against her...cupping her mound, trying to offer comfort and familiarity, it was oddly comforting to him too, but God, he could feel her need...her heat through shabby panties that he didn't even know why she bothered to wear. Just wanting to rip 'em away...there was no point in 'em...but no...that's not how he wanted to be with Beth. It wasn't who he was with her. Slipping under them, gently pushing them aside, skimming fingers through her downy curls he knew would be blonde and beautiful...pure natural Beth. She squeezed her firm little thighs tight together...nothing that would be able to stop him...he'd stop if he thought she wanted him to, but she didn't move to pull him away or tell him no. She was just unsure...unused to his touch...any touch. His cock rubbing up against her back, just above the curve of her sweet ass...it was almost too much for him to be able to think...all his primal senses on overload...his pent up energy. But it was Beth; she was the overriding factor that allowed him to think with his head, not with his dick...let his heart rule, and redirect his energy 'cause he needed to feel her too. It was just all new to him...never really wanted to take his time with a woman before...touch 'em for the sake of touching 'em.
Parting her...so slick...barely dipping into her molten honey, tracing a fingerup her slit, finding her hard little nub, feeling Beth bite back a sweet little gasp...
Yeah, that's it sweetheart...
Stifling his own groan, burying his mouth at her neck when her hips bucked back against him...
Daryl might not have been well practiced...well, practiced at all...in actually trying to be a lover, trying to give instead of take, but he thought he knew enough to know how to do something for Beth...touch her the right way. Maybe nothing fancy...but hell, he was tryin'...
But something happened...Beth squirming...not against him, but pulling away...trying to get away from him this time. His hand down her pants told him that she wanted him where he was...what was happening... needed to be touched, at least her body did...and even tough she asked, he fucked up...did it wrong. Barely even got to touch her and still fucked up. No matter what it was, Beth pulled away. That meant hands off, back off. It seemed like she tried to catch him...stop him...but it didn't matter. She wouldn't even turn around and look at him. Did he hurt her? He was tryin' to be gentle...didn't think he did nothin' to hurt her, but did he lose himself? He was too rough, just too rough to start with.Even fighting his instinct best he could, he was still too rough with her...just a fucking animal.
Or was she scared of him? Hell, of course she was...he was scared of himself around her like this. He didn't know what to do.
You don't fuck another man's woman...they'll just bring black eyes and a mouth full of smashed teeth when their man finds ya', goodbye pearly whites, and you'd deserve it. You...you especially Daryl...you don't fuck good girls and you don't fuck virgins. They bring too many complications and a shitload of regrets. You gotta know your place baby brother. You gotta good heart, but you gotta know, nobody's ever gonna love the likes of you...you'd just be a regret, and being a regret to a girl like that would kill you. My baby brother, you always were the sweet one.
Merle and his life lessons always stuck with Daryl...came back to him in moments of doubt like this where he didn't know what in the hell to do. Merle might've been a prick, but he had a certain code. Being with Beth, Daryl was able to put so much of that past behind, but it wounded him that she pulled away. What was he supposed to do...was Merle right...was she regretting just letting him touch her that way?
"Sorry..." What else was he supposed to say?
She finally turned to him, finally looked at him...moved a little closer, but he couldn't bear to meet her eyes.
"I just need to look at you." Words so soft he barely heard her, but so full of truth that when his eyes found hers before they made contact with the floor again, he felt it.
He felt what she was saying...maybe he just didn't get it. He didn't know what she was looking for. It was just him, the only thing he had to offer...a bad bargain on Beth's end. But he straightened himself, tall and strong, giving her the best he had...wasn't ashamed or self-conscious anymore; her rejection just knocked his confidence. What exactly did she want from him after pulling away?
His breath caught tight in his chest when her fingers drew down the center of him over his heart. Head bowed to feel closer to her without touching her...so conflicted...couldn't handle her shying away again. Beth was able to reach his lips, but Daryl didn't kiss back at first...just allowed himself to be kissed...
You would've regretted me, Beth...I don't wanna be your regret...
I did regret you Daryl...I regretted everything we didn't get to do together...When I thought it was the end...I was dying...during that storm when you kissed me...that...you were my regret...my only regret... Don't make me regret life because you think I'll regret you...
He'd been here before, worried about regrets...and she'd told him...told him how it was. He had so many regrets; this moment couldn't be one of them.
He couldn't resist, had to kiss her back, her lips sweet and shy and gentle. Beth...she made it feel like the first kiss...the first time she'd ever kissed...it touched himlike it was the first time he'd ever been kissed. She was his first love...his only love; Beth just made him feel...believe...but...
Daryl pulled back ever so slightly, shaking his head no. There was something in her that stopped her from allowing him to touch her...made her pull away.
"You shouldn't want me, Beth..." It was his own personal warning label...
No matter how much love or lust there was there for her, that was the honest to God truth. She shouldn't want him, but he couldn't wait for her answer or denial. Trying to keep his grip soft on her neck, drawing her into him, 'cause he couldn't bear to hear anything she might have to say, good or bad. There were better uses for her tongue, even if the words that would've slipped off it were sweet, covering her mouth with his.
Daryl chewed his lips sometimes too...not like her softly raking her teeth over the delicate skin, but gnawing at them with what seemed like brutal, bloody intent; somehow he never drew the blood though. He was doing just that when her hand slid beneath the edge of his tank top, feeling his solid stomach contract at her caress. Without much insisting, just a glance and a small twitch of her lips, not even having to ask, Daryl tugged his shirt off from behind his head, discarding it to the floor. It wasn't like the night by the fire, Daryl jerking his shirt off, angry at the world, his past, what had been done to her...scared and ashamed, but showing her the healed lashes ripped deep into his back hoping to heal her...to show they were the same, broken but beautiful. No...now they knew each others scars, inside and out...knew each other more intimately than anyone ever would...could. This was about a different kind of love, not love where pain was shared to heal...but love that was felt in a different way...joy.
Bathed in the morning sunlight pouring through the window and gauzy curtains, Beth could see him so clearly, eyes scanning his chest, his chiseled arms, his stomach, his pants hanging low off his hips, revealing just a hint of the cuts leading down...marveling at him but remembering, wherever she went with this, she wanted to make it about him. Poor Daryl was just standing there as still as a stone statue, waiting, anticipating her as she moved, Beth taking great pride in watching his skin quiver and muscles jump as she inched closer, like what just being her, just being near could do to him. Beth never thought of herself as particularly beautiful, definitely not sensual, but just Daryl standing there, not saying anything in words, just speaking with his eyes, the smallest twitch in his body spoke his desire, settling her nerves and insecurities...insecurities about herself, insecurities about not knowing how to touch him. His nerves were still there though, stiff and tense when she laid her hand at his side, Daryl sucking in and holding his breath. Just standing there...a few inches from him, closing her eyes to feel his imposing presence, Beth's fingers ventured to the soft spot at the small of his back, just grazing over him, but Daryl stepped in like he was drawn to her...needed her.
Hands...hands weren't enough...not this time...lips. She wanted to kiss him...taste his skin...his collarbone the highest point she could reach without him giving...without having to pull him to her, and Beth wanted him willing. Drawing her fingers up his back, she was barely touching him, feeling the tremors...not knowing if it was from her soft touch or her mouth at his skin. He tasted salty, clean but wild...intoxicating. Beth wished she could reach his neck, the strong cords of muscle...lay her lips there, but she settled for lower, more attainable points of pleasure. He didn't seem all that surprised...didn't even shy away when she traced the shape of his butt, palming the firmness of his cheek. Beth never really even noticed he had much there until the storm, when he came back drenched, had to change into a pair of jeans that weren't his, tighter pants than she had ever seen him in, and she actually got the idea that there was something to be seen...felt...something muscular to enjoy.
Daryl was clearly more interested in her lips, the path they were following across his chest, her fingers threading through the light hair, the tip of her tongue grazing over a nipple, stiff and hard, not knowing if he would like it or not...not lingering too long...not given the chance. His hand was at the back of her head, not guiding her, just following, until his fingers entwined in her unruly locks, clenching his fist, tilting her head up...exposing her lips. Daryl dipped deep and slow into her mouth, tasting her tongue, taking what he wanted...stirring something deep inside of her.
Maybe it was her outward confidence, or just the fact that he was a man, or that he was a man finally recognizing her as a woman, but he put up absolutely no protest to being drawn back into bed with her...no hesitation.
"Phhh..." Beth felt warm inside feeling him exhale a breath that he seemed to be holding forever when she settled down on his thighs, careful not to get too close where he would probably rather have her.
She didn't want this over too soon. Beth wanted to make him feel for as long as she could...enjoy...take her time with him, just wanting Daryl to relax, let go.
Finally Beth was able to reach his neck, starting her path of adoration at the strong juncture where it cut up from the bulging muscles and steel strong bones of his shoulder, his long dark hair tickling her cheek. He was breathing her in too, taking her in, Beth not even flinching away when both his broad hands slid under her shirt, caressing her back and pulling her closer. His hands ran over her healing wounds that were quickly becoming scars; there was still a twinge of self-consciousness in her tummy...it was too soon for there not to be...and maybe there would always be, but it wasn't because of Daryl or what he was feeling or thinking. He saw her as beautiful...perfect because he loved her, and she accepted that. It was because of him that she remembered there was light...she still had that light, could hope and believe while he held her demons at bay. He had gentled his touch...so much softer than the heated moments before when Beth pulled away, but he wasn't avoiding the marks on her back, that part of her, Beth just far enough away to see his face...his truth. And it was there. She was his world.
This was about him...Beth tried to remind herself...wanted it to be about giving him just the little bit of love, attention, and pleasure he deserved, but she couldn't say no. His possessive mouth at her neck...lips tracing down...his palm at the small of her back holding her steady, Beth's body arching against his lips...lips that were following his fingers, fingers slipping the strap of her cami and bra down her arm, leaving a palette of her pale skin bare...his kisses unhindered.
"Owww..." Only half serious in her complaint when he lifted her shirt over her head, straps catching in her loose hair and on her necklace, Daryl taking the time to carefully disentangle them.
Beth could have sworn that there was the hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth once she was finally free. Nothing in life was perfect, but that didn't mean it wasn't perfectly imperfect. Sitting on Daryl's thighs, just sitting there in her bra...maybe she should have been more self-conscious, but she wasn't. If her skin was flushed, it was because of feeling. And Daryl...she was half naked...but he wasn't looking at that or trying to get her more naked...he was just taking her in, all of her, stopping and focusing on that golden heart with red stones that rested against her chest. He caught it in his palm, just fixated on it. It had so much meaning for both of them...a gift he gave her with the purest intentions at one of the most tragic times of his life. He just got her back...she was so broken...he was so broken...
Freeing it from his hand, pressing his palm tight against her chest so he could feel her heart beat...beating for him and because of him...she could feel it too, thumping deep and hard in her, but surprisingly steady.
She couldn't find the words she wanted to say.
"We're alive..." His raspy, rusty voice that always touched her...
"We're alive..." Beth assured.
It was a realization, a statement that only two people who had faced what they had and still found each other...still had a chance...could feel so profoundly.
"Sometimes I wake up...afraid that you're...afraid it was a dream. I wake up afraid, but today, I woke up with you...and it was..." Daryl's words were wrought with so many emotions...the strongest, she knew, the disbelief that it was all true.
Beth watched him let his thoughts fall away though, touching her instead of talking, caressing the tender spot just under her breasts, arousing her senses when he had become so calm and still and contemplative.
"We get to live..." Grasping his hand, kissing it, placing hers to his chest, asking him to lay back against the pillows. "...we get to feel..."
Trailing deep, wet kisses down his chest, tasting him, retracing each point her lips left with soft fingertips so the memory of her mouth on him lingered, feeling his skin quiver...Beth was the strong one. She was bringing him to life. Low on his tummy, Beth's sights shifted to his hips...that strong indentation cut down...lips first, then going bold, her tongue tracing the line of him until the waist of his pants stopped her. It probably did nothing for Daryl...it was just for her, an impulse she couldn'thelp stop. But she did stop.Knowing where she was going...how far she was comfortable going in this, her first try, Beth sat up a little on her knees over him, taking her mouth off his body, not wanting to give Daryl any false hopes about what was going to happen. She didn't want to be a tease, but there was still more she planned to do...to see and experience.
When Beth thought about intimacy when she was younger, she always thought it would be awkward or even sinful in the light of day. Here she was now with Daryl, wanting to see everything, experience with him. Their love was nothing that had to be hidden in the shadows of the night. It was nothing to be ashamed of. She wanted to see him.
Eyes trained on the bulge in Daryl's pants, Beth couldn't help wonder what it felt like, if it hurt there, so confined, straining to get free. It clearly couldn't be comfortable. So hesitant at first, Beth traced the outline of his penis, watching in fascination as it twitched and jerk under the restrictive material holding it captive. Not thinking, really not knowing...Beth shouldn't have been so abrupt, grasping him full in her hand, not skin to skin, but enough surprising sensation that Daryl's hips bucked slightly at the shock, eliciting a groan from him. She couldn't tell if it was pain, pleasure, or somewhere in between. Softening her touch, just caressing through the rough denim...it wasn't enough for her. She needed to touch him, actually feel him in her hands, going to unbuckle his belt. Daryl straightened, pushing himself up, face so close to hers...Beth looking up from her halted exploration...thrown by his sudden nearness.
"Beth...you don't gotta..." Daryl, so humble...so sacrificial, how was it that he felt so unworthy when he was her life? He gave her her life back...gave her everything, every part of himself...but he wouldn't take this...what he deserved, what she wanted to do for him.
His eyes though, they couldn't lie...desperate, needed her, needed her touch, needed her to go on...but for him, it was never about what he needed.
"Please Daryl...let me love you." Her plea was just as honest as the plea in his eyes.
Daryl didn't settle all the way back against the pillows again, still very close...eyes glued to her. Belt unbuckled, nervous fingers fumbling at his button, finally drawing down the zipper of his fly...
"Oh...uh...umm..." Beth's surprise gasp just slipped out, Daryl's erection springing free, but he didn't seem to hear or notice her shock...at least he didn't say anything.
No underwear. So...he was a commando guy...that's what they called it, right? It wasn't what she expected, but then, what kind of expectations did she really have? After the initial shock of him being right there...not being prepared...Beth took a few moments, no doubt torturous to Daryl, to just take it all in, just looking. But just looking wasn't an option for too long, Beth needing to touch...to feel...fingers oh so hesitant, tentative...not afraid, just not knowing...not wanting to go in like a stab in the dark. Tracing the length of him...such velvety smooth skin, maybe the softest part of him...well no...not soft. Embarrassing herself with her own naivety, looking away from his...him...only to be captured by his eyes. Those eyes...those intense eyes on her...watching her while she still had her fingers caressing him...the way he saw her...she got all self-conscious...knowing how focused he was on her, knowing what she was doing to him...
I need to see you when you touch me...be facing you when I feel you. That's what Beth had been thinking...needed when she stopped him. She needed to see him. Why would he be any different? Of course he would want to look...see her. There was nothing to be afraid or shy of.
He broke away from his moment, touching her face gently, calloused fingers brushing down her cheek, connecting with her.
Drawing her fingers back up his shaft, circling his head that looked angry and intimidating, finally wrapping her little had around his girth...realizing it didn't fit in her grasp, Beth was able to gauge the true size of him. Worried that if it didn't fit her hand, how was he ever going to...? But that was a worry for a different day. Life had been so rough, brutal on her...terrible, painful, bloody, and most of all...hopeless that anything done with Daryl in love would be nothing but beautiful. Now it was her time just to be amazed by him...no worries, or anxiety, or nerves...at least she was trying. He was heavier in her hands than she imagined, silky skin, veins just below the surface all wrapped around a solid steel rod...such a contradiction. And he was actually so hot to the touch.
Kind of out of her depth, but having enough instinct and general understanding to know what to do, Beth started her slow stroke up the length of him. Looking to him to see...asking if what she was doing was right...felt okay; she didn't want to do it wrong. He wasn't looking at her anymore though, eyes instead on her hand encompassing his erection...watching her stroking him. He was so intent on what she was doing to him, but Daryl must have felt it in her, that questioning trepidation. Even though she was the one doing, she needed some assurance and guidance. An almost pained expression of concentration spread across his face, like he had to stop and think, pulling himself from a place he needed to be to be there for her.
Wrapping his big hand around hers, making her squeeze tight, tighter than she could ever imagine feeling good, Daryl stroked with her, twisting their hands slightly as he went, showing her just how he wanted to be touched. Quickly enough, Daryl released her, allowing Beth to continue on her own, watching her touch him then watching her watch him, Beth feeling more confident...seeing Daryl enjoy. Her free fingers dug into his thigh to steady herself, Daryl finally giving in, falling back to the bed on his elbows...seeing his breathing become labored then ragged...the rise and fall of his chest. Beth wanted to touch more of him, having set a steady rhythm, able to think and do more, running her hand over his hip, up to his bare stomach, through thedarkhair there, feeling his muscles contracting. And maybe she was doing something right, his hips rocking with her strokes. The guttural noises started deep in his chest, coming out sounding more like a growl than a moan...wild...delicious...making her want to purr.
Beautiful eyes closed, his head tilted back, hair falling away from his face...Daryl was giving in, finally just taking pleasure in the moment, but his jaw was so tight it looked like it was about to shatter...like he was fighting...
Beth didn't want him to fight it...she wanted him to feel.
Something touched her...made her want to be close to him somehow, allowing her hand to trace down the tense muscles in his forearm, his clenched fist loosening to allow their fingers to entwine...just being with him...
That's when he allowed himself to let go.
He jerked in her hand, Beth feeling the first spurt of warmth falling back to where her fingers clenched him...shocking her out of her appreciation of Daryl's pleasure...not surprised because she didn't know what was going to happen, just maybe because it was so sudden...abrupt. Something in her knew enough not to stop until he was...finished, watching in fascination as the thick, white ropes landed on the thigh of his pants, his tummy, then the last melting down his shaft onto her hand.
Ain't nobody ever gonna love you, baby brother...
Merle was wrong. Beth did. Beth...she loved him.
They said you couldn't love someone or feel love until you loved yourself. Shit, Daryl didn't give a fuck about himself...much less love, but God, did he love her...and knew what it felt like...her love.
It wasn't about being touched. It wasn't about being kissed. He'd been touched and grabbed and groped before...avoided being kissed at all costs. It was how Beth touched him, how Beth kissed him...what Beth made him feel. No one had ever done what she was doing for him...and he wouldn't have let 'em if they tried. It was that it was Beth. Taking her time, indulging him...touching him, learning him, trying to make him feel good and not asking anything in return. She wasn't looking to get off quick then get on with life. Not taking...giving. That's what this was about...love...wasn't it? He had to be willing to accept it...want it. And he was...did.
Lost in a moment...he never really knew what it meant. Always sounded like some poetic bullshit that was too good to be true, and his life taught him if you got lost...lost your focus, you could end up dead. If that was the case now, death would come softly, and he would welcome it with open arms.
"We're alive..." It was just such a realization, such a precious thing. He could never have imagined before Beth just how much it could mean...how hard they had to fight to get here.
Always been so reckless with his life 'cause he thought he was worth moreto peopledead than breathing.
And all the uncertainty out there...
"We're alive." Beth smiled at him, so soft, so pretty...so serene sometimes he was afraid that it wasn't real.
"Sometimes I wake up...afraid that you're..." Didn't know why he was saying it, but couldn't stop, "...afraid it was a dream. I wake up afraid, but today, I woke up with you...and it was..." Copping to his weakness, but something about being near her made him feel safe to be vulnerable, even just for a second.
And there was Beth, resting on his lap, looking at him, alive...so very alive. The morning sun filtering in through the window illuminated her, cast a glow on her, her hair shimmering waves of pale gold, her skin translucent...ethereal. He might not have been born in heaven, but she sure in the hell was.
"We get to live...we get to feel..." It was a promise from the lips of his angel.
Daryl was caught by the light...not the sunlight of the newly dawned day, but Beth's light radiating softly from within, the light the world couldn't kill no matter how fucking hard it tried. Her warm little hand on his chest urged him back, asking him to give to her...she couldn't make him if he didn't want to...but he surrendered. Reclining, just resting on his arms, he still wanted to be able to see her...watch her...what she was doin' to him. He had a right to, didn't he?
Straddling him...she'd been keeping her distance...but leaning down close to kiss him, there was no way she wasn't gonna rub up against his cock. Wanting to get between her legs so fucking bad, just so desperate to plunge himself into that comfort and relief between her perfect thighs, but realizing this was a journey they were on...there was lots to learn and savor in between, Daryl knew that Beth wasn't ready...she wouldn't have pulled away from him if she was. Hell, he probably wasn't ready neither for the way he wanted it to be. Just that contact though...innocent contact that could never be innocent...forced him to clench his eyes and try to focus...just take everything else in. Beth's moist lips laying a path down his neck, across his chest, soft pads of her fingers skimming down his skin...he was so torn. Daryl wanted her to touch him harder...wanted to feel her more, but he needed...something in him needed these gentle caresses of his woman's hands no matter how maddening it was. He had to...he had to touch her too, digging his fingers into the hair at the back of her head as she adored his body...a body that didn't deserve her. Beth's hand slid down across his side, fingertips barely reaching behind his back, grazing over him, sending shivers down his spine, tickling his ribs. Muscles in his stomach contracted under her lips as she continued her journey south. Her warm breath soothed his suddenly sensitive skin when she pulled back ever so slightly, and Daryl felt her trace the circular scar in his side. She knew that story, probably one of her first memories of him...so stupid, a dumb redneck who impaled himself with his own bolt, but she leaned in again, kissing it so tenderly like it was still an open wound, like she had that night he bared his back to her, Beth kissing the scars ripped into him.
How was he even worth her attention...her love...much less her adoration? He didn't have time to think much on that...just feel when her mouth moved to the exposed v of his hips...didn't even know that spot got him all revved up...maybe it was just Beth, but...
Her fingers were tracing down the other cut of him...
Her tongue replaced her lips...
It might not have been the most forward thing she'd ever done, but it had his cock throbbing and balls aching so bad he felt like he was about to burst.
Caught somewhere between heaven and hell...
Beth stopped, straightened...just pulled away from him, Daryl's mind all muddled, trying to readjust to normal...think normal...knowing Beth's explorations were gonna end somewhere, and no matter where she stopped, it was gonna be painful.
Sharp breath catching in his chest....Beth's fingers ran along the line of his dick, rock hard...fighting to rip out of his pants. Twitching and flexing...dammit, did she know what she was doin' to him, how much she needed to stop...'cause it was just gonna get worse unless...
But he wanted her to.
He wanted to watch her, but he couldn't...couldn't risk seeing her touch him...couldn't risk coming in his pants like a little teenager. He was a man...but closing his eyes, he couldn't anticipate...didn't expect Beth just taking him in hand.Pants be damned, she set him on fire no matter how hard he tried to fight it, wishing he could just pin his hips to the bed instead of reacting so instinctually.
Brain snapped back to the ability to function, to the decent man he wanted to be with her...the kind of man she deserved when the jarring reality...when he felt her working at his belt hit him. Shooting up close to her, face to face, hand covering her tiny one, stopping her...giving her a way out.
"Beth...you don't gotta..." Daryl meant every single word.
Meant it even though it hurt.
Meant it even though every muscle in him screamed out for her touch.
Meant it even though the man in him wanted Beth to do this for him.
He meant it.
"Please Daryl, let me love you..."
...let me love you...
Why was he so fucking scared? Why did he feel so unworthy?
He didn't say no, didn't say nothin' else neither...couldn't if he tried, words caught all up in this throat. He didn't lay back though, needing to be close, maybe not ready to fully give over to her...or just needing to see...it they were going there. Daryl watched every little thing she was doing to him, tiny fingers working his belt unbuckled, undoing that top button, hearing the unmistakable metallic zing of his zipper...all his senses heightened...the relief of the pressure of his raging hard-on being released. Sweet relief. Beth's little noise caught him in that moment...a breathy shock...made him feel a little warm inside to know she was still so unjaded after everything...so endearing. What did she expect? Boxers? Briefs? Nah...that wasn't him.
Beth took her sweet time looking him over, and it gave him a quiet moment to take her in. He never got tired of lookin' at her...seeing the thing he loved more than life itself...beautiful, hopeful, bright, made even more dear because she was with him. He would've loved, worshipped, and protected her until the day he died, even if she never wanted him, but she was his. And he'd proved that...that he loved her more than life...he'd earned the right to say that and feel it. He'd fought bloody tooth and nail to be here with her.
Daryl sucked in a gasp of his own, trying to keep quiet at that first skin on skin contact...just wanted to let her do what she wanted...not be distracted by him. He couldn't focus on nothin' else except her exploring, drawing her fingers up his dick...she was so soft she was barely touching him but he felt it deep and hard. And watching her made him all the harder when it wasn't even possible. Watching Beth touch him. Watching Beth look at him. He didn't need any help in the getting turned on department...not with Beth. He was turned on, overdone, and then some before she even laid a hand on him...but...
But it was more than that...it was more than getting all turned on...more than Beth touching him. It was about him. It was about Beth. It was about that connection. Him watching her...he could feel...knew it made her all self-conscious, but it shouldn't 'cause it was beautiful...she was beautiful...and what she was making him feel...
Reaching out, Daryl caressed her cheek softly where he could see the blush rising on her milky white skin.
Watching was almost as good as feeling...almost...maybe it was just a combination of the two. Watching Beth's delicate hand wrap around his thick shaft, slender fingers not quite able to encompass it...so focused on him, hesitant strokes so gentle, barely any contact at all. He was so far gone, it didn't matter. It would get him there. But then it dawned on him, was she afraid to hurt him? 'Cause that wasn't an issue...but she was touching him the way she wanted to be touched...the softness she needed. Her gentle was much different than his gentle. Shit...that's where he fucked up with her. Wasn't gentle enough 'cause he didn't know just what gentle was.Couldn't think anymore. Had to put that away for future reference...too transfixed on Beth's hand around his cock.
But Beth's eyes were looking up at him...he could feel it...feel the questions in them before he even met 'em. Unsure eyes. Daryl felt shitty taking charge, hesitant in making Beth do something his way...he could make himself handle her gentle touch...he was grateful she was touching him at all, but what he couldn't handle was the look of doubt in her face. She needed reassurance, and he wasn't capable of talking her through it, instead covering her hand in his, closing around hers, forcing her timid fingers to tighten around him...showing her. He stayed with her a few strokes...but then he couldn't anymore...just gave in, laid back, let himself feel, let it be about him...let Beth love him. It was okay to surrender.Maybe it was okay to feel like he was worth it.
Focusing on his breathing...it was getting ragged...his pulse...it was racing...trying not to focus too hard on Beth 'cause if he did, it would be over too soon. But dammit, when that girl's other hand unexpectedly left his thigh and skimmed over his stomach...made the muscles in his core clench...it almost sent him over the edge. Throwing his head back, not able to look at her...that would be the end...but not trying to fight the groans and growls...no reason not to let her hear where he was...
He was fighting...fighting the end he needed so fucking bad. It had been so long. Why in the fuck was he fighting so hard? He didn't need to hold on for her...and she...she had no expectations...and even if she did, this...it was a credit to her...what she did to him. He wanted to watch her...see her when he came...be with her...but the building intensity...he couldn't open his eyes, labored breath...heaving chest...hands clenching the sheets beside him.
Beth was with him...he didn't have to see her...he felt her hand leave his stomach, slip her fingers between his, letting him grip her instead of the sheet...holding her...squeezing her so tight. The deep ache...the searing tightness in his balls finally released, a shockwave taking him, the ecstasy that came after washing the tension, worry, and self-consciousness from his body and his soul. Not a simple release or just a few fleeting seconds of pleasure, but a physical and emotional purge of everything that had built up since they ran from the prison, since he lost her...all the self-hatred and pain that had recaptured him since Beth was ripped from him, beaten and broken and he couldn't do nothin' about it... being together again and having a chance when they were reunited.
It was an experience with Beth. It had been so long, he forgot what it felt like...but then it had never felt like this. Exhausted, totally spent after doing absolutely nothin', body still trembling, skin so sensitive, Daryl crashed down on the fluffy feather pillows. Pulling Beth on top of him, needing to feel the warmth of her pressed against his skin, he didn't let her hand go until he could wrap his arm around her.Just sighing under the comfort of her weight...his girl...
The bare skin of her tummy and chest pressed against him...
The lace of her bra scratchy and rough on him...
The scent of her lingering in his nostrils...
Senses so heightened, Daryl took it all in...every speck he could.
Idly toying with the ends of her hair spread across her back and cascading over her side, soaking her up, enjoying the euphoria of his comedown, the feel of Beth with him, Daryl had no instinct to run from her or this intimacy...just the realization that every so often, life gave you a stay of execution and was beautiful.
The first few awkward moments...the questions after...
Did she do it right?
Was it good for him?
What should she do?
Did he want to be touched?
Did he want to be left alone?
Should she say something?
After watching him...seeing him...finish...feeling her own satisfaction in her tummy, really seeing what she could do for him for the first time...the awkwardness came...the indecision, almost verging on self-consciousness again when he collapsed all the way back against the pillows. Until...until she looked at him and actually saw him. Eyes barely slitted, but they were open enough that they were seeing her and only her...Daryl's face finally relaxed, maybe even serene. And he wasn't breaking his grip on her hand...that connection...just softening it for which she was grateful...but he held on, holding her hand like grasping his was the most intimate thing she had done. When Daryl drew her down on top of him, Beth worried about weighing too much, making him uncomfortable, no way to really bear her own weight the way he pulled her to him...worried until she felt his deep, contented sigh. It was the release of the last bit of tension in his body. She was what he needed.
Showering whisper soft kisses on his chest...tasting the soft sheen of sweat that covered it...skin quivering under her lips...
"Huh?" Beth was broken from her thoughts by Daryl's voice, warm sun of the late morning shining down on them, the cool autumn air fresh and crisp and clean.
Daryl was waiting on his bike, bracing it, waiting for her to join him in the here and now. He'd gotten much more serious...much more observant out in the open, but he looked at her softly, like he regretted taking her away. It was hard, but it was time.
"Come on..." He offered his hand, taking hers, lifting it up to his shoulder so she could steady herself before climbing on behind him.
Wrapping her arms tight around Daryl's chest, Beth felt a new sort of happiness and confidence in life...a warmth inside. They made it. They weren't just surviving, they were living, and they were going to keep making it.
"You with me?" Looking back over his shoulder at her,crooked little half grin because he already knew the answer. Beth nodded and smiled in return.
Feeling the motorcycle vibrating under her, Daryl solid and steady in front of her, life was waiting for them out there. She looked back, just once at the pretty white house.
Don't say goodbye. I hate goodbyes.
"Thank you," she whispered instead, knowing they were leaving a little piece of themselves behind but taking away so much more.
It had been their first chance and their second chance, their do over in a world where chances were slim to none. In the end, it had been their beginning. This was how it was meant to be...riding away with Daryl, their future unknown but facing it together.