Harley & Daryl
Out of the Woods
Daryl was alone now, in the middle of the hazy woodlands of his baked subconscious. The child-like apparition of Harley was nowhere to be seen. Daryl slowly gathered his courage and got back on his feet again. He heard Harley's voice coming from seemingly all directions at once, it said " If you want to ride the tiger, you got to drink from the cup, the cup of the tiger", Daryl saw a a pathway of torches erupt in flames before him ushering him onward, deeper, into the bong-smoke bayou of his mind.
The lighted pathway ended abruptly in front of a small cottage. In front of this cottage was an older man and a teenage boy that looked like a younger version of Harley. "You show promise young student" said the older man "Someday I'm gonna whoop your ass, now, that is a promise!" retorted Harley. The older man chuckled and said "Well I suppose I have it coming since I've been plowing your Mother for ages without your Father knowing about it". Everyone laughed including Daryl.
Noticing Daryl Teenage Harley narrowed his eyes and scowled "What the fuck are you laughing at you half dick gobstopper?" Daryl began to stutter and could barely say " I-I-I want to be like y-y-you." "If you want to rule these woods like me you're going to have to defeat this sorry piece of shit in mortal combat" Harley said pointing at the old man. Daryl took a good look at his opponent, the older man was super fucking fat and gross and looked like he owned like every single Girls Gone Wild DVD that could be parceled and shipped. Daryl actually felt pretty good about his chances. "This guy taught you Karate!?" Daryl asked in bewilderment Harley doubled over with laughter "Are you for fucking real bro!? This guy calls me his student but really he is just some fucking creep who audibly jacks it in the woods like all the time" Daryl looked like he was about to vomit "He plows your Mom?" Daryl said discreetly "yeah I was about to kill him for saying that but since you were here I figured you could do it as some sort of test or some shit." "The fact is my Mother passed away in a Karate explosion when I was a child, there is no way this jizz-factory is telling the truth" Harley said calmly
The old man interjected " You lads ought to show more respect to your elders, especially when they are really a motherfucking bear!!!" The old man's body exploded in a fountain of blood and gross things, emerging from the disgusting shower was a fucking huge ass crazy looking bear. Daryl was freaking the fuck out but Teen Harley had no reaction to the spectacle, he only said "well this changes things" nonchalantly. Finally Harley said to Daryl "Very well, a trial's a trial, FIGHT!!!"
Daryl was in a pure panic, this bear had the the dumbest fucking eyes of all times one eye was looking at him and the other was looking off into some vague distance. The bear had the distinct smell of popcorn on it's breath and was growling/humming the chorus to a post 1980s Bon Jovi song that he couldn't quite place. Daryl looked to Teen Harley in desperation "It's your life!" Harley exclaimed "IT'S MY LIFE!!!" Daryl screamed as he balled his hands into fists and raised them menacingly towards the bear. The Bear charged and completely ate the shit out of Daryl's face, he ripped his fucking skull off so bad that Daryl momentarily saw his own head with his own face!
Daryl awoke from his feverish nightmare in what looked like a hospital, "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi was playing over the PA system and a man in a white coat was standing over him. The man had a severely lazy eye. "Harley..." Daryl whimpered
"Don't worry, you're safe now"said the stranger in the white coat.