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The Boy and The Bird

Summary

Jesse spends three years planning an escape, and it works. After making it out with three other people, he and his friends come to terms with the fact that the world is nothing like they were told.









Characters

Cindy (17)

Cindy (17)

Cindy is probably the nicest girl in the facility, she always sticks up for her friends and will do anything to cheer someone up. she secretly hates her gift, She feels people see right through her. Her eyes are like mood rings, they change color depending on her current emotion.

Jesse (17)

Jesse (17)

Jesse has telekinesis. He unaware of how much power he really has. Someday he wants to live in the real world.

Libby (15)

Libby (15)

This kind, and loving girl is 98% human, the other 2% is avian. Which is bird DNA. She has White angel-like wings and hollow bones. Making her weigh less than average. She is quiet and will only talk to Jesse outside of testing.

Ryker (15)

Ryker (15)

Ryker is 4% reptile. He is cold-blooded, and yes, he breathes fire. He is short tempered and loves lizards.

Chapters

  1. Introduction: Jesse and Libby

    Jesse test his abilty's and Libby learns an important skill.

  2. Chapter One: The Desert

    The four unlikely friends work together to face their first obstacle

Comments

@CarlGrime'sGirl
I JUST saw your response, sorry! Yeah, hopefully, we'll get to see those chapters someday :)

Old Snake Old Snake
12/2/15

I appreciate your advice, But I don't use Fictionpress. And It has everything go do with The Walking Dead, I just haven't posted those chapters yet

CarlGrime'sGirl CarlGrime'sGirl
7/16/15

I'm kind of curious why this is on a Walking Dead fanfiction site, as this has nothing to do with that. It's not irritating, it just doesn't make much sense. I'd suggest moving this to FictionPress. You can put whatever you want on there and anyone, even those who are not members of that site, can comment on it. I would also suggest (if you want to do that) is make an author's note chapter, saying you're posting any and all chapters on FictionPress.
Aside from that, I feel like the goverment theme may later on give it a sort of Hunger Games-style feel to it. And that may good, depending on what you wanna do for the plot. I hope we get to see more later on with Jesse's backstory and how her family reacted to it, along with the other protagnists as well, if you wanted to. It kind of reminds me of X-Men a bit, only you've said the goverment wants to CONTROL mutant humans, versus ban them. As far as writing style goes, other than some grammar things, I'd say it's a 9/10. As for story, I think of it as an 8/10, because the government people seem nice at the moment versus evil. Of course, we've only seen the first chapter. I'm sure we'll see examples and dialogue from characters on their evilness later on, so I'll save my voting 'til later on either here or FictionPress.
Good luck, sweetheart x

Old Snake Old Snake
7/16/15

@thewalkerinme
Actually, I'm working in the first five chapters! I apologize It may be awhile before I update. I have a project due in Feburary. I would say I will update around late Feburary or early March.

CarlGrime'sGirl CarlGrime'sGirl
1/10/15

Where did this story go? I miss it! Any updates soon?

thewalkerinme thewalkerinme
1/9/15