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Solace

Chapter 20

Lindsey stared at Rick and for once she actually felt hopeful. She knew it wouldn't last, but at this current moment, she just needed to focus on anything positive. The resolute look in his eyes almost convinced her that everything would be okay. Almost.

Rick tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and pulled her in for a kiss. His lips were soft and moved over hers with aching tenderness. It scared her to care for someone this much again. She had promised him she would do anything and everything to keep them alive. If she found herself in the same situation again, where she would have to make a choice between running and living or staying and dying, she'd go down swinging. This was it –her last chance for happiness. Yeah, maybe she could run in order to survive and find another group, another man to share those lonely nights, but there was no way in hell she would let that happen. Lindsey wasn't ready to admit this to him, but one thing she knew for sure was that Rick Grimes would be the last man she ever loved.

"We should get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be another long day," Rick murmured against her lips. It was clear that he was reluctant to let her go.

Lindsey knew he was right, but she wasn't ready just yet. She reached for him and pressed her mouth to his hungrily. Her fingers threaded through the dark curls on the back of his neck. She inhaled his scent, pulling him closer. Rick matched her desire and she could feel his arousal hard against her hip.

Now it was her turn to be reluctant. Gently but firmly, Lindsey pushed him back far enough so she could look into his eyes. There was a hint of disappointment in his gaze, but she knew he understood.

"Wake me in the morning?" she whispered.

"Sure thing," he replied as he stood. "Besides, I've got the key to your cell."

She smiled. "That is true...good night, Rick."

"G' night, Linds," he said and turned to lock her door.

They hadn't discussed this new nickname he had for her. Surprisingly, her husband never called her 'Linds'. Rick had only used it a few times, but it was clear that it was reserved for intimate situations. She definitely liked it.

*~*~*

The next morning, Rick awakened Lindsey, as he said he would, and she rushed to get dressed. She noticed he was wearing his tan jacket, so she figured that it must have cooled down overnight. Her light green canvas jacket hadn't gotten a lot of use in the last few months, but it had only been a matter of time. Walkers couldn't stop the seasons from changing.

Lindsey walked out of her cell and the first thing she saw was the dried blood stain on the floor. Not a good way to start the day. She lowered her eyes and promptly left the room. Today they were burying the dead. She didn't need another reminder that Beth would be one of them.

She decided to skip breakfast. Her stomach couldn't handle one bite of food right now. At this point, she was entirely focused on the undertaking in store for her today and she didn't know how long it would last.

When she stepped outside, she was grateful she had worn a coat. It wasn't especially cold, but there was a nip in the air that signaled fall was coming. She spotted a small group of people standing in the courtyard next to a pile of sheet-wrapped bodies. It also occurred to her that Glenn and Maggie were married in that exact spot only a couple weeks earlier.

At that particular moment, she was extremely glad she hadn't eaten anything.

Willing her feet to move forward, she approached the group with apprehension. Rick saw her coming and handed her a black bandana, as they all were wearing one.

"Just another precaution," he stated. She nodded and quickly secured it over her nose and mouth.

Daryl backed up the truck so they could start loading the bodies to be moved. Lindsey gripped the material surrounding a body at the top of the pile and waited for someone to take the other end. She was surprised when it happened to be one of the new guys from the night before. They lifted the body and she grunted under the strain. After the fourth body, she broke into a sweat.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice deep but polite.


She did not detect a heavy Southern accent, but it was hard to say where he could be from originally. Lindsey simply nodded.

"Name's Dean Mason," he introduced with an outstretched hand.

She glanced at his hand but didn't shake it. "Lindsey," she answered softly as she went to lift the next body.

He waited a second before moving to the other side. "Just, 'Lindsey'? No last name?"

"Does it matter?" She sighed.

Dean shrugged and put up his hands in defense. "Guess not."

They lifted the last body onto the truck and he tapped the tailgate to signal that they were done. Daryl pulled away and started the short trip down the hill to the field.

Lindsey proceeded after the truck. She could hear Dean a few steps behind her, obviously trying to give her some space. He really didn't seem like a bad guy. He'd only been polite, perhaps just a tad nosy. With a sharp exhale, she turned around and stopped him.

"Listen, Dean? You've caught me on a really bad day. It's not that I don't want to shake your hand. We just need to be conscious of cross-contamination right now. You're of no use to us dead," she said with a bitter smile, which was unseen behind the bandana.

He shook his head. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Lindsey nodded once and began walking again, doing her best to ignore the way his eyes had appeared like pure melted chocolate under the reflecting morning light.

*~*~*

Rick watched Lindsey walk ahead of him, Dean Mason slowing his pace after they spoke. Rick still couldn't shake his aversion of the man, especially with him apparently taking a liking to Lindsey. He'd have to put an end to that.

By the time he caught up with the group, they were just reaching the cemetery. Everyone grabbed a shovel off the truck and began digging. Maggie and Glenn had come down earlier to start Beth's grave and were more than halfway done. On purpose, Rick picked the plot next to Lindsey's and gave her a quick wink when she momentarily looked at him – nothing suggestive, just a small gesture to uplift her spirits a bit. Her gaze softened and then she began digging.

*~*~*

The service was similar to the one they held before, but seemed to be more difficult to get through as Hershel was once again officiating. Lindsey clenched her jaw as she listened to his voice crack during a prayer. She knew his resolve had to be breaking. If something happened to Maggie, they might as well dig two graves. Her heart got impossibly heavy at that thought.

Hershel said his last words, which were followed by a moment of silence. Suddenly, Rick made an abrupt sound in the back of his throat. Lindsey glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. The service ended and people began to disperse. With a shiver of fear, Lindsey watched as Rick hastily moved to edge of the field and let out the coughs that he had been holding in.

Notes

Comments

@Corall
Aw thank you so much!! :D

bluecrush611 bluecrush611
5/18/16

I just finished reading this story :) and its the most amazing story ever :D

Corall Corall
5/17/16

@Kandy
No worries. I actually used Paint, haha. I just figured out what size the banner needed to be (by trial and error) and then cut the image down until it fit.

bluecrush611 bluecrush611
4/13/16

@bluecrush611

Also, Another Annoying Question. Where did you make that Banner of Lauren And Andrew? I need to get a good Banner place thingy and i need advice xD

Mother Dick Mother Dick
4/12/16

@Walker Witch
Thank you so much for the kind words and for following along!

@eventualprocrastination
Thanks for all of your comments! I actually just published a book, so that's the direction I'm taking for now, but who knows. Maybe I'll post something here and there. :)

bluecrush611 bluecrush611
4/10/16