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Solace

Chapter 50

Rick retraced his steps back to the barracks, keeping a strong grip on Lindsey. He had managed to get her back and had no plans of letting her out of his sight. They hurried down the winding hallways until Rick halted next to a dark alcove. He turned the corner and immediately pulled Lindsey into his arms. He simply held her, and she returned the intimate gesture. It didn’t feel right for him to rush her back to the crowded room – not after what had just happened.

Lindsey took a deep breath and looked up into Rick’s eyes. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and asked, “How are you? How’s your head?”

Her weary features hinted at more than she was letting on. “I’m okay. I should be asking you the same question,” she murmured, reaching up to caress her fingertips over the gash on his forehead.

Rick noticed the splint on her pinky and cradled her hand in his own. He examined the injured finger and inflamed skin overlaying her knuckles. Tentatively, he flicked his gaze to her face, knowing exactly what he’d find – guilt. It shadowed the warmth in her brown eyes, exposing her true feelings, even when she’d said otherwise. She had been forced to kill another person in order to stay alive, but the reasons didn’t matter – the guilt was still the same.

Lindsey’s uncomfortable expression told him she wasn’t in the mood to talk about that – not yet. Instead, he asked her about something else he’d been wondering. “Whatever happened to Dean?”

Quickly, her gaze hardened. “Samuel’s men killed him.”

Rick didn’t have much to say. Good riddance, was about all that came to mind. The man had been a thorn in his side since they’d met at the prison. With his sights set on Lindsey, Dean had been willing to do almost anything to get to her, especially if there was a chance that it would take Rick out of the picture. Well, Dean was dead and Lindsey was still with Rick.

Fuck you, Dean. I’ll see you in hell.

It was an unfortunate swap though. With what weight Dean had pressed upon Rick’s shoulders, it was now replaced by Samuel – and then some. There wasn’t room to make mistakes this time. Dean had been right about one thing – there were worse people to worry about on the outside of those prison walls.

Lindsey wrapped her arms around her middle, shivering slightly. Rick was disgusted that no one had bothered to give back her shirt, so he began to unbutton his own. She smiled sweetly and stilled his hand. “I’m all right, thank you.”

Rick redid the buttons and brushed his firm hands over her arms. “Carl, Daryl and Michonne are back in the barracks. I know we can find a shirt for you there.”

He stopped rubbing her arms and she slipped her hand into his. “Show me the way.”


Lindsey felt herself sobering up as she and Rick entered the brightly lit barracks. Men and women occupied rows of cots, and Lindsey put the number at somewhere around forty inhabitants. A few people were milling about, but most were lying down. It was dark outside now, so it would probably be time to turn in soon.

Rick led her to one side of the room, and she smiled as she spotted their three other group members.

“Lindsey!” Carl exclaimed, jumping up to greet her with a hug. She held him tightly, feeling relief upon seeing that he was safe. “Wh- how did you get away from Samuel?” he asked in disbelief.

Lindsey looked to Rick for an answer, wondering why they hadn’t discussed that before coming back. Michonne and Daryl would probably figure it out quite easily, but it was not something they needed to divulge to Carl.

Rick must have seen her tormented glance in his direction, because he immediately stepped in. “We, uh, reached an agreement. Everything’s been taken care of – Lindsey is here to stay.”

Carl was likely aware that his dad wasn’t giving up any details of this ‘agreement,’ but like a good boy that had learned over time to keep his mouth shut at certain moments, he didn’t ask questions.

Daryl and Michonne weren’t deterred though. The two survivors stared at Rick and Lindsey with a mix of curiosity and suspicion. Lindsey missed the slight shake of Rick’s head at the matter.

Michonne leaned over and picked up a gray t-shirt from the end of her cot. “Here,” she said, offering it to Lindsey.

“Thank you,” Lindsey breathed, taking the plain shirt. She slipped it over her head and even though it was a little big, she didn’t care. Yes, she’d just been fully nude in front of some psycho, but she still didn’t feel right standing in front of Carl and Daryl in only a sports bra. “Have you had your fight?” she asked Michonne.

The woman shrugged. “Not yet. I don’t think they have anyone for me to go up against – not that I’m complaining.”

“That’s good,” Lindsey replied. “Let’s hope it stays that way.”

Daryl stepped closer to the small group, lowering his voice. While on the subject of being naked, Lindsey thought they all appeared so without their weapons – especially the hunter without his crossbow. “Yeah, well, we need to start talkin’ about how we’re gonna get the hell outta here!” Daryl hissed.

Rick nodded. “I’ve been thinkin’ about that. We should lay low, not draw any attention to ourselves. We’ve got to figure out how things work around here – who’s in charge, when they make runs, what the shifts are…where they keep the weapons.” He met each of their eyes as he talked, marking off each item on his fingers. Lindsey admired him all the while. She loved seeing him in action as the leader he was born to be. “Maybe even make some allies – get the inside dirt. Just don’t seem too interested, that would defeat the purpose of laying low.”

“The shifts start every morning at seven. We got here last night just in time for lights out. I’d put it around eight,” Michonne contributed.

Rick glanced at his watch. “That’s in a few minutes.” He looked to Lindsey now. “What do ya say we try and find something to eat?”

After searching all possible areas, they came up empty handed. As it turned out, meals were served at specific times, and if you missed it – you didn’t eat. Lindsey lay down on her cot and stared up at the high ceiling, her stomach grumbling. She thought she would have no desire to eat after their ‘show’ for Samuel, when in fact she’d worked up quite an appetite. She was no stranger to going hungry, though, so she’d simply tough it out until morning.

Rustling and light coughs echoed throughout the large room, preventing her from falling asleep. She missed the farm, she missed their bedroom, and she missed sleeping next to Rick. It suddenly occurred to her that all was not lost – Rick was right next to her. She turned her head in his direction, and through the darkness she saw him looking back at her. As quietly as possible, she swung her legs over the side of her cot and slipped into his. She burrowed her cheek into his warm shoulder as he wrapped his strong arms around her. With his familiar scent tickling her nose, she finally felt like she could relax. After she exhaled a calming breath, they spoke in quiet whispers.

“I was hoping you’d come over here,” he said with a faint smile.

Gradually, Lindsey melted into his embrace. “I couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled into his shirt. “I cannot wait to get out of this place, Rick.”

“You and me, both,” he answered, stroking a calloused hand over her hair. “I’m so sorry, Linds.”

She looked into his glittering eyes and frowned. “Why?”

“I was supposed to protect you…at the gas station, when we got here, at the fights…and with what Samuel forced you- us to do…” he uttered.

“Rick, stop,” Lindsey said firmly. “Don’t put this on yourself. I agreed to the deal with Samuel. He could have asked for more…for worse, but he didn’t. We made love – so what if the jerk got to watch? What matters is this moment, right now. We’re alive and we’re together. Please, please do not apologize for anything, because it’s not your fault.”

Rick cupped her cheek and gently placed his mouth over hers, inhaling as he kissed her breathless. “I love you so much,” he whispered against her lips. Lindsey stared into his dark eyes, and he spoke again with some reluctance. “I do have to say…you act as though you’re fine, but I know you’re not. I can see it in your eyes, Lindsey.”

She tried to push down her emotions, but it was in her nature to lose it the moment someone noticed that she wasn’t okay. Tears tracked down her cheeks and her body shook as she fought to remain silent. Rick furrowed his brow in concern and pulled her into his chest. She turned inward, attempting to muffle her weeping with his shirt. Abruptly, Lindsey lifted her head, her eyes wide with grief.

“I killed that woman, Rick! She was mourning her husband, and instead of feeling empathy – I snapped her neck. Who does that? I- I’m turning into a monster,” she whimpered, thinking back to the man she shot, the dismembered cannibals, and finally, the woman’s broken body on the factory floor.

“You’re not a monster, Lindsey. Men like Samuel are the monsters. Don’t ever think that you’re some sadistic murderer, killing for pleasure – it was purely self-defense. You just got done telling me not to put this on myself. I know it’s not easy, but you need to do the same.” Rick drove his point home by holding her gaze and refusing to look away until she nodded. With a sigh, he said, “I could go for another glass of that whiskey, what about you?”

Lindsey stifled a weak giggle through her waning tears. It felt wrong to find humor after such a heavy conversation, but she needed it, and Rick knew it, too. “Yeah, that was the good stuff,” she said. A beat of silence passed between them. “Can I stay here with you tonight?”

Rick gave her a loving smile and once again enveloped her in his arms. “Of course. Where else would you go?”

Hushed voices brought Rick out of his peaceful slumber, and it took him a moment to remember where he was exactly. The realization came crashing back down onto him, rekindling that worm of anxiety in his gut.

We have to get out of here, he thought desperately.

Lindsey shifted next to him, and he took in the sight of her sleeping face on the other end of his pillow. The room held a few rays of morning light, exposing to him the bruises on her neck. He hadn’t noticed them before, but they were hard to miss now. Deep purples with a tinge of yellow blossomed across the span of her neck in the shape of handprints. With a scowl, he tenderly dragged his fingertips over the discolored skin.

How could he let this happen to her?

The instant that question crossed his mind, Lindsey’s voice resounded in his head: Don’t put this on yourself – it’s not your fault. He wanted to do as she said, but it was proving difficult. He would always place responsibility on himself to take care of her and Carl, and all of the other group members. If something befell them, he instinctively retained the blame – there was no getting around it. Maybe it was purely the damnation of having a moral consciousness.

Samuel had no such thing, which was why he held his current position as leader. That absence of morality made him unpredictable, and people feared him for it. Rick had never led with fear per se; his opposition of democracy early on had been unsuccessful. Samuel was in for a rude awakening.

Rick jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to see Daryl standing over him.

“Gotta get up,” the man grumbled in a low voice.

Rick gave him a nod and looked back at Lindsey. He dropped a feather-soft kiss onto her battered cheek, and her lashes fluttered apart, focusing her drowsy gaze on his face.

“Hey,” she whispered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She offered him a feeble smile, and he returned it.

“Time to get up,” Rick stated as he stroked an affectionate hand over her arm. With a light peck on her forehead, he rose from the cot, stretching and rolling his shoulders. While he’d been perfectly happy sleeping next to Lindsey, the limited space had left him stiff. Not to mention, he was still suffering aches and pains from his fight with Dean.

It was going to be a long day.

Notes

Comments

@Corall
Aw thank you so much!! :D

bluecrush611 bluecrush611
5/18/16

I just finished reading this story :) and its the most amazing story ever :D

Corall Corall
5/17/16

@Kandy
No worries. I actually used Paint, haha. I just figured out what size the banner needed to be (by trial and error) and then cut the image down until it fit.

bluecrush611 bluecrush611
4/13/16

@bluecrush611

Also, Another Annoying Question. Where did you make that Banner of Lauren And Andrew? I need to get a good Banner place thingy and i need advice xD

Mother Dick Mother Dick
4/12/16

@Walker Witch
Thank you so much for the kind words and for following along!

@eventualprocrastination
Thanks for all of your comments! I actually just published a book, so that's the direction I'm taking for now, but who knows. Maybe I'll post something here and there. :)

bluecrush611 bluecrush611
4/10/16