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It Only Hurts When I Breathe

Chapter 3: Bolt Through the Heart

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven..."

Did God allow for a time to sing, he wondered. He could hear Beth singing so clearly, sittin' in the field at the prison...that song...The Parting Glass wasn't it...it had been haunting then, but now...now he felt the tragedy of it.

Of all the money that e'er I spent, I've spent it in good company...

"A time to be born, and a time to die..."

And all the harm that ever I did, alas, it was to none but me...

"A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep silent, and a time to speak..."

And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I can't recall...

"A time to kill, and a time to heal..."

So fill to me the parting glass, good night and joy be with you all...

"A time to break down, and a time to mend..."

Oh, all the comrades that e'er I had; they're sorry for my going away...

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh..."

And all the sweethearts that e'er I had, they'd wish me one more day to stay...

"A time to mourn, and a time to dance..."

But since it falls unto my lot, that I should rise and you should not...

"A time to embrace, and a time to let go..."

I'll gently rise and softly call, good night and joy be with you all...

"A time of war, and a time of peace..."

A man may fight and not be slain...

"A time to love, and a time to hate..."

But since it has so ought to be, by a time to rise and a time to fall,
come fill to me the parting glass, good night and joy be with you all...


If he closed his eyes, Daryl could see her, alive, sitting by that fire, by Hershel...illuminated...she was his fire...his light...now there was just darkness.

"We therefore commit this body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection."

Daryl was numb. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real...He watched as each of the people who'd loved Beth in life threw a handful of dirt in the grave he dug for her. A handful of dirt...that's what her life and the love people felt for her amounted to...a handful of dirt.

"Daryl..." Rick prompted gently, but he was frozen.

He felt Rick pour the brown earth in his palm. Daryl knelt beside her trench in the ground...he couldn't throw it in like the others...didn't have it in him. Reaching down, close to her body in the shallow grave, he tilted his hand, watching the soil spill like the sand in an hourglass. Time...time had run out. They knew it. He knew it. Everyone was livin' on borrowed time. Daryl just thought he'd have more of it with her. Things that happened...gave him hope...made him think he had a future, but it...she was gone. There was dirt on her face. Daryl reached out carefully brushing it away so he could look at her, see her one last time.

"Beth...Beth, I'm sorry..."

The whole rest of the world had gone still and quiet, but he heard Maggie sobbing at what he said. Didn't matter. Nothin' mattered anymore.

Flowers. There were no flowers to give Beth...no flowers to bury with her, put in her grave to let her know she was loved. Daryl couldn't let it stand, pulling one of his crossbow bolts free, examining it, turning it in his hand, making sure it was perfect, strong...not weak like him. No flowers...this bolt...it would have to do. It was all he had, and he gave it to her. The shovel of dirt thrown on top of Beth sent a bolt through his heart. Another shovel full and his eyes locked on Tyreese, stopping him before a third could be spilled on her.

"No..." She was his...

Tyreese was not without sympathy, looking to Rick for guidance.

"Leave him." It was Rick's final say, but had he said something different, Daryl would've found the strength to fight him on it.

Tyreese laid the shovel beside him as everyone left the graveside, retreating back to the church. The priest, preacher, whatever he was, Father Gabriel, knelt beside him, placing a hand on Daryl's back. Daryl wanted to shrug it away, but he just couldn't.

"God never gives us more than we can bear."

"No...he just kills us...you have faith, then you die, one way or another..."

Father Gabriel had no response to that 'cause it was the truth.

Two hundred and forty-seven. It took two hundred and forty-seven shovels of dirt to cover her...ensuring he would never see Beth again. Daryl let the shovel fall from his hand, his body sinking to the ground in defeat.

Notes

Comments

I am so sorry, but I can't read this one :( I am reading your other two stories, but I just can't handle with that. I don't want to see him dead, it will break my heart. Your writing is so beautiful and addictive, so alive. Thank you !

Deadone Deadone
10/28/15

This was heart wrenching & beautiful!

AmIdoneyet? AmIdoneyet?
5/15/15

That ending and how everything came together-you don't even need my praise anymore. Not at all because you get it, something that I don't think the writers on the show ever did or ever will. Beautiful.

cougars1 cougars1
1/25/15

Seriously, I don't want to ruin this for anybody who hasn't read yet, but some of these details, especially that gunshot-you know what I am talking about. You have me bawling my eyes out from last chapter, then this was something different. That last section of dialogue, I can hear that being said so clearly.

cougars1 cougars1
1/25/15

Seriously, I don't want to ruin this for anybody who hasn't read yet, but some of these details, especially that gunshot-you know what I am talking about. You have me bawling my eyes out from last chapter, then this was something different. That last section of dialogue, I can hear that being said so clearly.

cougars1 cougars1
1/25/15