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We Can Change

Goodbyes, Part II

“Oh I've finally decided my future lies,
Beyond the yellow brick road”
— Elton John



It wasn't the easiest drive back, but they managed to maneuver the unfamiliar roads without a map—and yes, they checked the RV for one, but found none. Twice they hit road blocks formed by abandoned vehicles in their path, which meant getting out of the RV and physically pushing any car or truck they could to clear the way. There was also one small herd, and Rick did his best to avoid running into them but, when he did, he wasn’t too concerned. The RV was built sturdier than the dead were.

Approximately forty-five minutes after first driving off in the RV, they managed to make their way back up the road leading up to the townhouses. A trip that, had there been no physical obstacles and had they known the way, would’ve taken less than five minutes by car and only ten minutes if they’d stayed on foot.

As soon as the RV came to its final destination, Tara let out an elated whoop of relief and was first to jump up out of her seat before the mobile home had even came to a complete stop. While the others began to follow after Tara and begin to head out, Rick just sat there in the driver’s seat still; even after Jo and Sophia had come out of the back bedroom and left as well. He leaned forward, gripping the top of the steering will and watched out the windshield as everyone from the first group that had gone off to George Washington University came out of the main townhouse to greet the returned groups, or what was left of them. He watched the way the first group scanned the faces of the others, looking around for Milo and Piper, and then he watched how they grew solemn when Daryl stepped forward as the one to give the cliff notes version of what happen.

Jen and Mika were among everyone, and Jen had begun to cry when she likely heard the news of Milo’s demise. As Finn’s girlfriend, his best friend had been a close friend of hers, too.

Rick watched the way Finn embraced and kissed Jen; happy to see her again while trying to console her over something he’d already had a day to live with. Rick also watched the way Mika smiled brightly to see Jo again and how she threw her arms around Jo’s waist, and then repeated the process for both Sophia and Tara before looking over toward the RV, probably asking where Rick was. Tara was muttering something and Mika’s smile faded slightly, but her spirits remained up as she nodded and turned away to head inside the townhouse with everyone.

The only one who remained outside was Tyreese, who began to saunter over to the RV and politely knocked on the door instead of just barging right in.

“Door’s open,” Rick called out, leaning back and dropping his hands into his lap.

As the door swung open, the entire vehicle lurched slightly to the right as Tyreese’s girth entered inside. He momentarily looked around and then focused his gaze forward at Rick and helped himself to occupying the seat Tara had just been in moments before.

“So,” Tyreese began. “What happened?” When Rick didn’t reply right away, Tyreese continued. “The rest of us got back yesterday morning. We spent the night in some old medical lab. We found a lot of good meds and equipment Nicole said we can definitely use.” The larger man practically beamed. “We even found a sonogram machine. If we can find a generator to hook it up to we can get it working in no town. Hell, if we find a generator somewhere we can do a lot more than just use a sonogram.”

“That’s good,” Rick muttered.

“So…you gonna give me the specifics of what the hell happened in DC? All Daryl said is that Milo and Piper didn’t make it and that we gotta pack up everything. What’s going on, Rick?”

Letting out a deep sigh, Rick backtracked in his mind to recount everything. “My group got surrounded by a herd and spent the night in Ford Theatre. When we tried to make our escape, Piper freaked out for reasons that aren’t important anymore and she got attacked. She’d been holding onto Sophia’s hand and wouldn’t let go, and Sophia would’ve been walker food next, so I cut off Piper’s hand and the rest of left her behind. Sophia shot her in the head to put her out of her misery. We got back to where we left our car eventually, but it was gone. It was taken. So, we started walking, and eventually we found Daryl’s group at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, waiting for us. They explained they ran into this group, these Marauders who had taken Milo as leverage because Milo had killed one of the Marauders to protect Tara. The head Marauder, Sarge, decided the only way they’d get Milo back as if they gave them everything they had. He told Daryl they had until sundown yesterday. They wanted our food, our weapons, our cars, any other supplies. Everything.”

“Shit.”

“So, we start scavenging for anything extra we can find because none of us had found much. We found some gas and hotwired some extra cars and we made the drop-off just before sundown. While we waited for Milo to be brought out, she made us get out of the cars and made us give up our weapons. When we asked if they’d seen Shane and Hope, Sarge said he did.”

“Holy shit. Really?”

“A week ago,” Rick nodded. He bit the inside of his bottom lip as tears began to sting his eyes. “He said he saw Shane over a small grave in Arlington Cemetery, crying, and then Shane shot himself in the head.”

Tyreese slumped and tears formed at his own eyes as well; the only difference was his never fell while Rick couldn’t hold his in anymore. A sob escaped his lips and he hunched forward, once again gripping the steering wheel as he pressed his forehead against it.”

“Rick, I’m sorry. I am so damn sorry. Did…did that guy, Sarge, say how Hope…how she…you know?”

Rick sucked in a few steadying breaths and leaned back upward, wiping the tears away as he shook his head. “No,” he mumbled. “He only saw Shane and the grave. Then Milo came outside and Sarge let us take our weapons back, but then he told us to get the hell out of DC and never come back,” Rick continued to speak; doing his best to get back on track. “We, uh, we started walking away and this gunshot rings out and Tara’s got all this blood splatter in the back of her neck and then we see Milo falling forward. I look and I see Sarge aiming this rifle with a scope on it. He said a few cars and some supplies didn’t equal the losing one of their own the day before. Milo’s death made us even. Blood must have blood, he said.” Swallowing back his grief for the moment, Rick revealed anger. “We tossed Milo’s body into the river as we left the city. It was Finn’s idea. And then we needed to find someplace to stay last night. We couldn’t be wandering unfamiliar roads in the dark, not on foot anyway. So, we found an apartment.”

Both men fell quiet for a couple minutes, letting everything Rick said sink in.

“When did you find this beauty?” Tyreese inquired, patting the dashboard.

Rick shrugged. “Little over an hour ago, maybe.” Lifting a hand up, he wiped more tears away. “We got back on the road this morning, but I had a feeling we were being followed. I tried giving whoever it might be the slip by going off the main roads. When we reached a highway pretty near here, I had everyone hide and we waited and, sure as shit, these two guys come out of this wooded area we’d just come out of not ten minutes before. Heard ‘em talking; they mentioned Sarge, so I knew he’d sent them to follow us and see exactly where we were going.”

“What happened to them?” The question didn’t really need an answer. Tyreese could safely assume the men were dead.

“I killed the first one. The second one had used up an entire round of bullets on two walkers. The first guy posed the greater threat with a loaded gun, the second guy didn’t, so I used him to communicate back to his people and tell Sarge he was following us somewhere else. Then I shot him, too.” Rick cleared his throat and looked out the windshield toward the townhouse. “Morgan’s pissed with me ‘cause I didn’t let the guy live and simply lock him in some trunk or whatever without any weapons. I just didn’t care about the guy. He posed a threat, either way. He could’ve gotten out if I put him in a trunk and somehow managed to radio back to his people and tell him where we really went, which is why I need us to pack everything up and get away from this area as soon as possible. When that Marauder doesn’t radio back to his people soon, they might send more this way to find him and if they do, they might come after us. If I’d left him alive and they found him in a trunk, the same thing could happen and I can’t risk that.”

“Understandable,” Tyreese nodded. “We got our women and our children’s safety to think about first. I suppose I might’ve made the same decision as you in a moment like that; scared, running on fumes, grieving.”

Rick shook his head. “I would’ve made that decision if I was feeling a hundred percent,” he admitted. “I didn’t even care when he told me he had a sixteen-year-old son back in DC that I’d be orphaning. Stepping back from the situation, I can see how I’m the bad guy in all this and he isn’t. He was only just following us. He didn’t hurt us, but he could’ve.” Rick shrugged. “And Jo’s angry with me. She slapped me and won’t talk to me.”

“How come?”

“We’re both messed up over Hope and Shane; mostly Hope. I promised her this morning we’d stay one more night here and take tomorrow morning to look around the cemetery for Hope’s grave, but then all that with those two Marauders following us happened and I just don’t think it’s safe for us to stay around here anymore. But I told her if we packed up quick enough, we could spare time to go look this evening before nightfall and she got angry and told me to forget it and she slapped me…” He turned and finally looked directly at Tyreese. “And that pretty much brings us to now.”

Tyreese nodded and looked around. “Okay,” he remarked simply. “Let’s get our shit loaded up then.”

“Yeah.”

Standing up, Tyreese reached over and gave Rick’s shoulder a tight squeeze. “All hands on deck,” he spoke. “That means you, too.” When Rick looked up at him, he added, “C’mon. If we’re gonna make it to Arlington Cemetery before dark, we gotta do this now.”

Rick tried to smile and ended up failing miserably at it. “I’ll let Jo know,” he nodded. “If she’ll talk to me.”

“She will.”

With a slap to Rick’s shoulder with his opened palm, Tyreese turned and exited the RV without another word; leaving the door open for Rick to follow him out.

Taking another moment to collect himself, Rick wiped away any remaining tears at his eyes and pulled himself up to his feet. Merle was already exiting the townhouse to the left with a duffel bag full of supplies; heading toward the passenger van with it as Rick came ‘round the RV.

“Sorry about your kid, Rick,” Merle called over as he opened the back doors to the van. “That’s some real shit.”

All Rick did was nod a silent thanks for the sympathy as he continued on his way and entered into the main townhouse. Ascending the stairs, he reached the first floor where Karen was helping Tara pack up all the canned goods into reusable shopping bags. On the second floor, Sophia and Mika were finishing up packing up what little supplies they had already and whatever else they wanted to lift from the bedrooms they’d claimed for their own during their short stay in the townhouse. Continuing higher, Rick reached the top floor where he found the master bedroom’s door ajar.

Pushing it open more to allow him to slip more easily inside, Rick looked at the bed and recalled the wonderful moments he had created in it with Jo. The bedsheet was as disheveled as they had left it days before and the way the sun shined into the room and bathed over the bed just made everything seem beautiful and as if everything was fine.

Hearing movement to his right, Rick looked down the corridor between the His and Her closets and saw Jo stepping out of the master bathroom with a small bag filled with toiletries they could use on the road, like soap, shampoo and toilet paper.

“Jo,” he called to her.

She looked up and then looked away, not answering him as she turned and opened one of the closet doors and began to yank out several articles of women’s clothing that had been left behind by the previous owners.

“Tyreese wants to get us to Arlington Cemetery, and I still do, too,” he pressed. “I know you’re pissed with me and you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but I’m just letting you know we’re gonna go there. I made you a promise. I won’t break it.”

Stepping back from the closet door, Jo looked up at him again and simply nodded before she moved past him and tossed the clothes in her arms down onto the bed.

Rick sighed. “I thought I’d at least get an ‘okay’ out of that.”

Jo turned around and immediately glared at him. “Do you want a pat on the back or a ‘job well done’ while we’re at it?”

Rick clenched his jaw. “Listen, we’re both grieving here, and I was an asshole earlier, but I didn’t mean to be an asshole on purpose. I’m tired and I’m scared. I’m scared all the time. I’m barely hanging on most days to keep this group together and alive, and I can’t even do that right. I’m doing the best I can, but I’m not the bad guy. I’m your husband, and I lost the same daughter, too. You’re acting as if me going to the cemetery is some chore I’m obligated to do. I’m grieving for Hope the same as you.”

Jo three the bag of toiletries down on the bed and stepped defiantly up to Rick. “You are not grieving Hope the same as me,” she spat. “I am the one who created her. I am the one who felt her grown inside me for almost nine months. I am the one who pushed her out of my body. I am the one who nursed her. She was of my flesh and blood, Rick. It’s not the same grief. Don’t you dare say it is! You didn’t lose her like I lost her!”

His chin quivering, tears came back to Rick’s eyes as he stared back at Jo, who suddenly looked so small and broken in front of him. “My grief might not be exactly the same, but it is not any less painful than yours,” he insisted; failing to maintain his composure. “I delivered her. I loved her the second I held her and I never stopped loving her. I loved her as if she was my flesh and blood. And you seem to forget that this is the second fucking time I’ve had to lose a child. I know this pain because I’ve already lived through it before! I lost my son, a child I did help create, that was my flesh and blood, and this pain now feels exactly the same, so don’t school me on the loss of a child, Joanna.”

Turning his back to her, Rick took a few steps away from her and then leaned against the wall. Hunching forward, he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger as he began to sob so deeply it became an ugly cry. Feeling his knees shake and weaken, he slid down the wall and sank to the floor with a gentle thud.

Jo just stood there, watching him and feeling the weirdest mix of emotions. Part of her was angry at him, while part of her felt like a monster for undermining his grief by playing some sort of loss trump card. But then it was her grief that allowed her to push aside her anger, as easily as tucking away a pair of socks into a dresser drawer. She couldn’t find it in herself to be angry at him and grieve at the same time. He didn’t kill Hope. Her death wasn’t his fault. He was not responsible for any of this and neither was she. They had had no control over what happened. This had all been beyond their control in this fucking, horrible world that seemed out to get them at every turn.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she began to cry along with him. Walking forward, she drop down to her knees and then inched a bit closer toward him before placing her hands on his arms and resting her forehead against his. “I’m sorry.”

Rick shook his head. “Don’t,” he muttered. “Don’t apologize to me.” Slowly lifting his face so that their noses brushed each other, Rick’s wet eyelashes blinked through the tears that still persistently fell. He brought his own hands up between her arms to touch her face; brushing his thumbs along both sides of her jaw. “I’m sorry she’s gone. I’m sorry we lost her.”

Jo’s heart felt like it was being twisted around in preparation to be yanked out of her chest and crushed altogether. “I don’t want to go to the cemetery,” she blurted as a salty tear rolled over her top lip and slipped into her mouth. “I can’t wander around looking for her grave. I can’t do it. I don’t want to see it.”

Rick attempted to steady his breathing, licking his own lips free of the salty tears that were drying there. The occasional tear was still falling, but he seemed to be settling down a bit now. “We have to,” he insisted. “We’ll regret it if we don’t.” Holding more firmly onto the sides of her face, he nuzzled her nose and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips, before speaking against them, “We need to say goodbye.”

When he leaned back from her face, Rick watched as she drew her eyes up from staring at his lips to looking in his eyes. She took a moment or two to consider what he said and, begrudgingly, she nodded. She didn’t say anything further about it all. Instead, she merely inched her body closer to his and moved her hands onto his shoulders as she clambered to sit in his lap, facing him.

Rick wasted not a second in welcoming her into his arms, which he wrapped tightly around her back. She straddled his lap as she sat there; their chests pressed together and her head resting on his shoulder.

“We’ll need to get moving soon,” he muttered quietly.

“I know,” she acknowledged. “But first, just this.”

They let their tears slowly dry up, their heartbeats mellowed, and they sat there together, not budging from their embrace.



Both the passenger van and the RV were packed and loaded up within the hour, the entire group working in tandem and quickly at that. With the extra room the RV provided, it meant extra room for both people and supplies to spread out for travel without feeling cramped up. And, having two vehicles instead of three, it would keep them all closer together.

The sonogram machine Tyreese had mentioned had been lifted into the RV and placed into the back bedroom where Nicole had fashioned as a hospital room of sorts in case they had to live strictly out of the mobile home for a while until they found something more permanent miles beyond the nation’s capital. Canned goods and water where shoved into the kitchenette cupboards and the non-working refrigerator, toiletries into the cabinet under the bathroom sink, and clothes left in duffel bags scattered between both vehicles. Any other incidentals everyone either kept on them or near them as they began figuring out who would be traveling in which vehicle.

Daryl offered up driving the van and his brother took shotgun. Despite being a hard-ass who often gave off an air of not giving a shit about anyone but himself, over time it became clear it was merely a tried and true defense mechanism and that Merle actually did give a shit about the others. In his time with them since leaving Woodbury and joining them at the prison, the group had grown to feel like the family he and Daryl had never gotten to have with each other and their parents when they’d been growing up. Merle didn’t say anything about it, but he had been worried about his brother when he didn’t arrive back to the townhouse the same day his group had. He had been tempted to go off into the city and find him, and had even packed a new bag to do so, but then decided against it at the last minute when he heard Daryl’s voice in his head, telling him, “I’m fine. Stay and keep the others safe.”

But now his brother was back and he was gonna stay by him, because he never knew if that next time they parted ways for another run might be the last time he saw him.

After all, family was everything; especially nowadays.

Tyreese got behind the wheel of the RV and Karen rode shotgun; never far from him, the same as Rick and Jo were when they traveled. Because of the tense air still between them, Morgan chose to travel in the passenger van with the Dixons while Rick chose to be in the RV with Jo and the girls. Their family crowded around the dinette table while Tara and Nicole sank down onto the small couch situated immediately between both the dinette and Tyreese’s driver’s seat. Finn and Jen also opted for being inside the RV, but headed back to the bedroom, while Michonne decided to keep Morgan company in the van to balance out the numbers.

With more than enough fuel in both vehicles, everyone seemed to peer out the windows at the same time as Tyreese made the laborious task of maneuvering the beast of a mobile home backward down the narrow road, which seemed to curve quite a lot. Driving it up into the cul-de-sac of townhomes had been one thing, but driving it back out was an entirely different thing. Eventually, Tyreese was given the option of backing out onto one section of an intersecting street and then turned left so he could finally continue forward going straight. It cut into their travel time by only twenty minutes, and Daryl was stuck at a snail crawl waiting for them to get moving before he could follow behind with the van. By then they were all able to drive on at a normal pace.

With a map spread out over her lap in the passenger seat, Karen dictated to Tyreese where to go so they could reach Arlington Cemetery. As she told to turn here and merge there, Rick had slipped his arm around Jo’s shoulder and pulled her close. They saw quietly as Sophia and Mika began to play a simple card game of Go Fish with each other. Aside from their young voices, and Karen and Tyreese talking back and forth to each other about directions, the drive was relatively quiet.

As the RV and the van passed under the Arlington Memorial Bridge, the memory of tossing Milo off of it came back. It also made Rick and Jo’s heartbeats begin to pound with the realization that they were so much nearer to the cemetery. And, after the RV led the way in veering right onto and off-ramp, the road looped around and came upon Memorial Avenue. The only two options to go was either right, which led across the Arlington Memorial Bridge and back into DC, which wasn’t an option at all, or left, which led directly toward the cemetery, which was the goal. Tyreese turned the wheel left and Daryl mimicked the move behind him.

Given just how large the cemetery was, to say it would be a guessing game to figure out where Shane would’ve buried Hope was an understatement.

Driving all the way down to the end of the road and then turning around to face the vehicle toward the direction of DC, Tyreese then backed the RV up onto one of the other, narrower roads. He looked over his shoulder toward where Rick was as he turned off the ignition.

“I figured I’d park here, behind some tree cover. If any of those people y’all dealt with drove up across that bridge out of the city, they shouldn’t be able to see us.”

“Good thinking,” Rick replied, tapping Jo’s shoulder so that she would slide out of the booth so they could both stand up.

When she acquiesced to his silent request, they both moved to secure their weapons, or at least retrieve the ones they weren’t presently carrying on their person; namely Jo’s sword and scabbard, and Rick’s machete; both of which were being stored in a small coat closet near the bathroom. Once strapped with blade and gun alike, and packing extra ammunition to be safe, Rick made his way for the door first, with Jo directly behind him.

The others in the RV began to move around as well with the goal of joining the couple, but Rick turned and held up a hand to stop them.

“No, stay here with the girls,” he advised. He gestured between Jo and himself. “We need to do this alone.”

“It’s not safe wandering around this place alone, just the two of you,” Tyreese pressed.

“We’ll be alright.”

“I want to say goodbye to Hope, too,” Sophia spoke. “I helped take care of her at the prison. She was a little sister to me.”

Jo nodded and reached a hand out to the teen. “Okay.”

“Can I come, too, then?” Mika asked hopefully.

“No, stay here where it’s safer,” Rick insisted. “We’re not excluding you on purpose, honey, but Sophia’s older and can defend herself, and she needs to say goodbye as much as we do.”

“Okay,” Mika pouted, slinking back within the depths of the RV.

Daryl sauntered over with his crossbow slung over his shoulder, having parked the van across the end of Memorial Avenue from the RV. “Which direction y’all gonna head in?”

“We haven’t decided that yet?” Rick replied, turning to greet the archer. “S’pose it really wouldn’t make a difference; the size of this place and all.”

“Hey, I’m coming with you.”

Everyone turned to see Finn pushing by Tyreese as he stepped down out of the mobile home with a gun strapped to his hip and his axe in hand.

“Finn—” Rick began.

“She was your daughter. I get that. And you,” Finn looked at Sophia, “were basically her sister. I get that, too.” He turned his eyes over to his own sister then. “But she was my flesh and blood, too, Jo. She was my niece, and I never got to meet her. So I want to at least say goodbye to her if I can’t say hello.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Jo agreed. “After all, you didn’t get to say goodbye to our mother, either. It’d be selfish of me not let you come.”

Finn shrugged and threw an arm around Jo to give her a brief side hug. “You have every right to be selfish. Like I said, she was your daughter. That kind of trumps any of us. I mean, you and Rick go on a head. Sophia and I will keep our distance and give you a bit of space.”

“Yeah,” Sophia concurred.

Tyreese unhooked the gun holstered at his side and passed it to Sophia. “You’ll need this.”

Sophia lifted her shirt slightly and turned to reveal she already had a gun tucked into her pants. “I’m already carrying.”

Smirking, Tyreese nodded and returned his gun to his side. “Well, alright then.” With a look over at Rick and Jo, he gave them a knowing look. “You be careful out there. Holler if you need us.”

Rick nodded back, turning to look across the road at the van where Merle was still sitting inside with Morgan, but Michonne had stepped out to stand beside it like some sort of sentinel. Tyreese exited the RV, and was followed a moment later by Tara; the both of them automatically assuming the same role as Michonne while everyone else not going on the grave hunt retreated inside the RV until the others came back. Daryl, too, remained; heading over toward the van to keep watch.

Slipping his hand in Jo’s, Rick led them back along the road the RV had parked onto, to make their way inside the cemetery. There were sidewalks on either side of the road initially, but they soon disappeared to give way to simply just roads that had been meant not entirely for any vehicle but only foot traffic. They had the option of going left, going straight or going right when the road forked.

“Where do you think Shane might’ve buried her?” Sophia asked from several paces behind.

Rick shrugged. After a moment of considering, he replied with, “Somewhere nice; maybe somewhere near flowers or with a view.”

Jo pointed toward the first lane they were approaching, Weeks Drive. “Up toward the top then?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

The walk was quiet after that, and took less than five minutes as they wove around JFK’s gravesite and past his brother Robert’s gravesite to ascend the grassy hill. Because of the terrain throughout the cemetery, there weren’t many walkers around at the higher points. Up until now, the foursome had yet to take out any of the undead and it didn’t seem as if it would be an issue for them anytime soon; something they were grateful for.

Scaling the remaining hill to the highest point in the cemetery, Arlington House, which was the Robert E. Lee Memorial, the foursome stood and looked around. The first thing they noticed was the view and how absolutely breathtaking it was. They could see for miles in the direction of DC. They could see the tops of the Capitol Building and most of the Washington Memorial, as well as the Lincoln Memorial, obviously.

What they didn’t see was any fresh grave fitting of a child.

Jo sighed and inaudible sigh of relief at having to witness any grave at all be delayed.

“Nothing here,” Finn stated the obvious. “Sarge said he saw the grave and your friend Shane kneeling over it, right? So, where would Sarge have been to see it? I mean, he didn’t really peg me for the sort that comes for long walks around here.”

“Maybe he was at the bottom where we came in,” Sophia suggested.

“But why was he here at all? What would’ve brought him here that he would’ve seen anything?”

“Maybe he has someone buried here he came to visit,” Rick shrugged, stepping across toward a stone walkway. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe they bury their own here when they die,” Jo offered her own two cents. “The Marauders, I mean. A lot of them seemed to be ex-military. Sarge admitted he was. It makes sense this is where they would want their people. This place is for soldiers, former presidents and the like.”

“By that logic, then, he could’ve been anywhere,” Finn remarked.

Jo shook her head. “Not necessarily. We just stop looking for one small grave and keep a look out for several adult-sized ones and we’re bound to find Hope’s nearby. After all, in how hot it gets here during the summer, who would want to carry a body all the way up here when there’s plenty of space down there?” She gestured toward the base of the cemetery, near to where they’d entered.

Turning his body more toward Jo, Rick held his hand out to her. When she realized what he was doing, she slipped her hand into his; entangling their fingers together. Rick led them in the descent down the stone walkway, occasionally finding shade from the different varieties of trees along the way. As they neared the bottom, they paused briefly to note the tomb of a Lincoln relative to their right.

Despite their reasoning for being there, as it was with most—if not all—cemeteries, it was almost overwhelmingly quiet and peaceful. It even smelled amazing from the scent of magnolias in the air. If they wanted to, they could easily forget the dead roamed the earth.

At the base of the stone walkway, they looked to their right and found the van parked. Michonne, noticing movement, spun around with her katana quickly unsheathed until she realized it was just them.

“Anything luck?” she called out.

Noticing a few dead walkers along the side of the van that hadn’t been their earlier, the foursome could easily surmise Michonne had kept busy.

“I’d hardly call it luck,” Finn mumbled under his breath.

“Nothing yet,” Rick replied, letting his voice carry over to her.

As he spoke, Sophia had been wandering forward slightly to the stone walkway that continued on the other side of the lane. When she didn’t stop, Jo took notice, and then Finn, as they watched her go but didn’t follow immediately after her.

“I think I see something,” she muttered over her shoulder.

The three adults focused on the where the teenager was looking and began trail slowly behind her. Jo and Rick, specifically, seemed to both feel their hearts leaping into their throats at what they suspected they would find when Sophia stopped.

The walkway curved and sloped downward; but thankfully the walkway was constructed like steps so there was no need to worry about slipping.

About one hundred and fifty feet down the walkway from the top of the lane, and situated to the left, were approximately twenty to twenty-five adult-sized graves that were of different stages of burial. The soil over several of the graves had settled considerably and seemed to have already budded with new grass. The most recent grave looked to be only a week old, which fit in with the timeline of when Sarge would’ve been there. All had grave markers made of wooden planks stuck into the grown with names carved into them.

But then there was one grave, upwards of another eighty feet further and on the right, at the base of a tall tree. It was unequivocally different that the others. It was a third of the size, for starters. There was no marker either.

Feeling as if she was about to have some sort of anxiety attack, Jo practically flew down the walkway and dropped to the base of the small grave when she reached it. With shaky hands, she leaned forward and touched the disturbed soil as if she was touching the dead body buried beneath it. After a few generous heaves, sobs took over, followed by the springing forth of new tears. She was so engrossed in finding the grave and losing herself in her grief once again, that she didn’t even notice the dead body lying a mere five or so feet away amidst the small, white headstones belonging to dead soldiers.

Sophia and Finn hung back, as promised, while Rick staggered forward. He was not as oblivious to the corpse as his wife but, judging by how there was barely anything left of it, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it posed no threat to them. Instead, Rick came up beside Jo; placing a hand upon her shoulder as she cried her heart out. Slowly, he joined her on his knees and curled an arm around her waist as he pulled her closely against his side. His own tears began to flow and it boggled his mind to think their daughter was buried only a foot or two below the surface. There was no shovel anywhere around the area, so either Shane dug it with his hands or Sarge took it after he watched Shane kill himself over Hope’s grave.

And speaking of Shane, Rick forced himself to look away from the grave and over to the remains to their left. It reminded him of bodies he’d found when they’d took the prison and made their first treks throughout the corridors; discovering rotted remains of inmates that had been picked nearly down to the bone by the carnivorous walkers who had also once been inmates or even guards. Pulling himself up to his feet, Rick wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and stepped closer to what was left of the corpse. The clothing had been ripped at and was covered in so much dried blood and dirt that it was hard to determine the original color of the material. The skull had been picked more or less clean, leaving absolutely no way to see any facial features. The only thing the seemed to remain more or less intact was the left hand, but even then two of the fingers had been bitten off. The midsection was gone, a leg was several feet further away around the tree.

What was saddest was not even that the body had just been left there, but the dried blood splatter that was painted onto the white headstones, coinciding with Sarge telling them the man he’d seen had shot himself in the head.

Rick looked around at the ground and found no gun; something else Sarge had likely taken.

“Do we have a shovel in the RV or the van?” Rick asked, turning a moment later to look back at Finn.

The younger man fumbled over himself to respond; having not expected to be spoken to about anything, but he understood why Rick was asking. “Uh…I’m not sure. I’ll, uh, go check.” Placing a hand on Sophia’s shoulder, he turned and hurried back up toward the lane.

As Finn disappeared from view for the time being, Sophia stepped forward and crouched down to occupy the space beside Jo that Rick had moved from. Leaning over, she wrapped her arms around Jo’s neck and began to join her in crying.

“We can’t leave him like this,” Rick muttered.

Finally, Jo managed to focus on something other than Hope’s grave and cast her eyes over to the rotting remains at Rick’s feet. “Oh my god,” she whimpered. “He took care of our girl. He got her out of the prison and made it this long on his own with her. I wish I could thank him.”

Sucking in a sob and forcing it back down his throat, Rick looked away and nodded. “He knows.”

“Do you think he got bit trying to save her and that’s why he shot himself?” Sophia wondered quietly. “And when she died, he buried her before he turned, and then took his life so he wouldn’t turn?”

Rick shrugged. “Maybe.”

“This is like reading the last chapter to the worst book ever,” Jo mumbled. Leaning forward, she lay down beside the grave and placed her right hand over the center of the small mound. “Mama loves you, Hope. Daddy does, too; and Sophia, and all your friends who loved you, too.” Digging her fingers slightly into the soil, she barely felt Rick as he moved and crouched down behind her and placed a hand on her hip. “We’ll meet again someday.”

“Maybe her soul will be reincarnated into the new baby so that she’ll still be with you,” Sophia suggested sweetly.

Rick smiled sadly. “That’s a nice thought. She’ll be with us no matter what, though,” he remarked. “You can’t lose something that’s always in your heart.

Sophia nodded in agreement; thinking of her mother, Carol, who might never have a grave of her own and was probably nothing more than a lump of body parts now like Shane, but she was alive and well in Sophia’s mind and heart at all times. Sometimes, the teen swore she heard her mother’s voice in her head, and it was usually when she needed to hear it most. What made her saddest, was not that her mother was dead; it was the thought for forgetting what her mother’s voice sounded like as time went on, or worse—forgetting what she looked like.

A minute or two later, Finn appeared with Daryl in tow; the latter insisting on coming to help with Shane’s body. Finn had found a shovel. Tyreese had apparently taken it two from the garage of the main townhouse before they’d all packed up and left.

Rick nodded a silent thanks to his brother-in-law and his brother-by-choice. “Next to Hope. That’s where he should be,” he spoke, pointing to the empty space next to Hope’s grave. He then gave Jo’s shoulder a squeeze to urge her to sit up and step back so Finn and Daryl could get to work at digging. “C’mon,” he whispered to her as she began to stand up.

The two of them stepped away and, as disrespectful as it may have been, they each sat down on a small, white headstone as they watched the two men work. Sophia, on the other hand, wandered over to a sapling that had been planted before the fall and began to pull out two of the stakes that had been forcing the young tree to grow straight instead of leaning any which way. The couple watched as their surrogate daughter stepped back over toward Hope’s grave, careful not to interfere with Daryl and Finn, and mindful of where her feet went so she didn’t step on Hope’s grave. At the top of it, she positioned the first of the two stakes and slowly pushed it into the soil; far down enough that it wouldn’t fall over any time soon.

Turning toward Rick and Jo, she smiled. “They should have markers. Everyone else has one.”

Rick and Jo smiled back, appreciatively, but said nothing.

They wouldn’t have been able to figure out what to say even if they tried.

The tears were already descending yet again, but this time that’s all it was.

Tears.

They didn’t sob or ugly cry. It was a strong possibility that might happen again soon, and would continue off and on for some time, but at the moment, their bodies couldn’t put forth any more energy aside from the tears that fell and the occasional bout of sniffles.

They had enough to deal with from the aches in their hearts.



Shane had been buried beside Hope shortly after. Daryl and Finn had carried what was left of his remains into the grave they’d dug without any commentary as to how gross it all was or how bad it smelled. Any of that they kept to themselves. Daryl and Finn had also went back to the vehicles, with Sophia trailing after them, to give Rick and Jo some alone time at the graves to pay their respects and say their final goodbyes.

They only took a few moments to do so; both too emotionally drained to linger and it just hurt the longer they stood there.

When they had ascended the stone walkway and made their way past the van, Michonne stopped Jo to give her a sympathetic hug and a gentle touch to Rick’s shoulder before the pair continued to walk across to the RV. Daryl was standing there with Finn, wiping his hands on his red handkerchief, as Tyreese came out of the RV with the map of greater DC area. He flipped it over, revealing the entire state of Virginia mapped out on the other side.

“We’re wondering where we go next from here,” Tyreese remarked as Rick and Jo approached. “With the van and the RV, we can all easily just sleep inside both vehicles for the night without worrying about figuring out someplace to clear for the night. I was thinking we could easily backtrack along the roads we took when we came here, since we already know what areas are clear, without roadblocks. But, beyond that, we’re not sure where you had in mind for us to go.” He looked up from the map and over at Rick. “Any suggestions?”

“There’s always going back to Georgia,” Jo muttered, looking somewhat dazed even though she was still listening to the conversation.

“That would mean passing through the border of Virginia and North Carolina, which is around where we had that run-in with those Wolves,” Finn muttered. “We don’t know how many of them there are or how spread out they are and you already dealt with them once, and once was enough, if you ask me.”

Jo lifted her gaze and focused on her brother. “And neither of those Wolves survived to tell the tale, if you remember,” she commented; a hint of bitterness from the memory plaguing her voice.

“Maybe, but that was two. What if there’s two hundred?”

“What if went north?” Tyreese suggested. “Like, into Pennsylvania, or further west, past the Virginias to Ohio.”

Rick shook his head. “Winter’s a few months away. The further north we go, the more brutal the winter.”

“We could just stay in Virginia.” They each turned their heads toward the doorway to the RV to find Jen standing there. With a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, having possibly been napping in the back bedroom judging by her slightly disheveled blonde hair, she stepped down and joined the others. “When I was in middle school, we took a school trip to DC and surrounding areas. One day we went to Mount Vernon.”

“George Washington’s home?” Finn questioned.

Jen nodded. “That place is stuck in the 18th century, which is what the outbreak basically sent us back to. It’s equipped for life during simpler times; living off the land, before modern technology took over. There are plenty of bedrooms for all of us, there are gardens for growing food, stables for raising livestock, a cellar for storing food, a cupola for keeping an eye out of any danger approaching the property, and being right on the river means we’d have fresh fish and water we could boil the salt out of for drinking, or to use for cleaning and cooking with.” She focused primarily on Rick, as he was their de facto leader. “I mean, we could be set for life there.”

Rick shook his head and scoffed. “And you don’t think anyone else would’ve thought of that? There’s probably a group of people squatting there already. Maybe they’re worse than the Wolves or the Marauders.”

“And maybe it’s empty.”

“I doubt it.”

“Well, it’s worth a look,” Daryl shrugged, as Rick stared at him as if asking, ‘Et tu Brutus?’ “Listen, it’s not like we have any definite plans anyway, so why not give it a shot and check it out? It could have people already there, sure. But maybe those people are good people. Maybe we could join them. Or maybe it’s empty and we take it for ourselves.”

“And if it’s not empty and it’s been taken by people who aren’t so friendly?”

“Then we get out of there and find someplace else, but at least it’s a start.”

“We can’t be wandering around forever,” Jo remarked. “We need to find something to settle into soon if we want to be able to plant and see any food grow before winter comes. We can’t be wandering aimlessly then. We’ll freeze to death, if we don’t starve.”

With a sigh, Rick didn’t feel like arguing his doubts with Jo. Not now. Not after where they’d just been; at their daughter’s grave and watching the remains of the friend get buried beside her. And he just felt like they’d argued enough for a while.

It was incredibly rate that they did argue, and Rick didn’t like it at all.

“Alright,” he caved after a few moments of consideration. “Alright, we’ll check out Mount Vernon.”

Jen smirked victoriously that her suggestion had been chosen. “Awesome.”

As she ducked back into the RV, everyone began to separate. Those traveling in the RV followed momentarily after Jen, while Daryl walked back across toward the van and let Michonne, Morgan and his brother know what the plan of attack was.

Since they had the map, Tyreese would once again lead the way and Daryl would follow in the van behind them. Inside the RV, however, Rick had asked Karen if she wouldn’t mind him taking shotgun; feeling more at ease over being able to see where they were going and getting a better view of what they’d come upon whenever they managed to reach Mount Vernon.

When he turned around in the passenger seat after Tyreese had returned to sitting behind the wheel, Rick looked upon the rest of his people inside the vehicle. Finn and Jen were now curled up together on the small couch, while Nicole and Tara were playing some sort of card game at the dinette table with Sophia and Mika. Only Jo was unaccounted for, but the slight sliver of movement he’d glimpsed behind the half-closed, pleated folding door to the back bedroom let him deduce that was where she’d went.

“Give me a minute before we head out,” Rick said to Tyreese.

The larger man nodded, and took the map from Rick to study it a bit while Rick stood up and sauntered toward the back of the RV and politely rapped on the flimsy partition.

“Jo,” he spoke before pushing the door aside to step into the room and then sliding it closed behind him.

He hadn’t yet been in the back bedroom yet, but found that it had a single, full-sized bed instead of two twins. The sonogram machine was pushed into a corner to the left of the folding door and a few duffel bags filled with either medical equipment, medicine and clothing were stacked on either side of the bed; leaving very little room to walk around it. Jo was seated on the right side of the bed, staring toward the blinds covering the window as she turned her face up toward Rick with the most forlorn expression he could remember her ever having.

Without saying anything, he sat down beside her. Sliding his left hand over onto her leg, he grabbed for her right hand and then brought it up to his lips so he could kiss the inside of her palm.

Smiling appreciatively, Jo leaned her head and rested it upon his shoulder. “It’s been a day,” she muttered.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“I can’t wait for it to end.”

“A few more hours. When it gets too dark, we’ll pull over somewhere and call it a night.”

“Should we give ourselves time to clear out someplace to stay?”

Rick shook his head. “Nah, we can all manage in here or in the van,” he replied. “Both the couch and the table fold down into beds. Tyreese and Karen, and Jen and your brother can claim one of those. Tara and Nicole can manage on the floor. We have plenty of blankets to make it comfortable enough. You and I will take this bed and we’ll clear out the sides of these duffel bags and the girls can sleep there, near us.”

“Sounds good.” She nodded, visualizing how everyone would be able to neatly fit inside the RV to sleep that was already in the RV. She wasn’t too worried about the foursome in the van. The Dixons were used to roughing it. She wouldn’t put it past either of them to sleep on top of the van or in a patch of grass somewhere to allow Morgan and Michonne to spread out more comfortably. “Where do we put all these bags?” she asked, looking at the duffel bags against the wall.

“We’ll shove ‘em in shower stall. I don’t see us using that anytime soon.”

“We could use a shower, though.” Jo made a sour face. “We reek from that walker blood we wiped on ourselves this morning.”

“I think I’m so used to it now, because I barely smell it anymore.” Leaning forward, he unzipped one of the bags that looked lumpy from clothing. Rifling around for a few moments, he pulled out two shirts; both men’s T-shirts, and handed one to Jo while keeping the other. “There. This should help for now. Don’t need you throwing up any more than you normally do.”

“Thanks.” Accepting the T-shirt, a black one, she set it down, but only so that she could remove the soiled shirt she was wearing. “I’m just gonna toss this. It’s beyond saving.”

Rick mirrored her; lifting his soiled T-shirt over his head and balling it up. As they sat there topless, except that Jo still had a bra on, he leaned down and pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. There was no ulterior motive behind the gesture. He just wanted to show her affection before they went forth with putting on their clean shirts. Turning to face her afterward, Rick gathered up both their soiled shirts in his hands and kissed her once more; this time, properly, on the lips.

“I’m gonna head back up front to ride shotgun with Tyreese,” he informed. “I want to follow where we’re going on the map.”

Jo nodded. “Okay.”

“Why don’t you lie down and get some rest? Or try to.” Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Rick licked his bottom lip and exhaled a deep breath. “If you need me, shout. I’ll hear you.”

“Or come wake me if there’s trouble.”

Standing up, Rick snickered. “When isn’t there trouble?”

“Good point.”

As he hovered at the folding door, he looked back at her once more. “I love you, Joanna Grimes.”

Slowly, she began to smile more genuinely. She didn’t look back at him; instead she looked straight ahead at the window blinds again, but she was acknowledging his presence by the simple upturned corners of her mouth. “I love you, too, Richard Grimes.”

With a nod, Rick slid the folding door open and stepped out of the bedroom. When he closed it behind him again, he wandered back up toward the front and reclaimed his seat beside Tyreese once more. Taking the map back, he spread it out on the dashboard while Tyreese started the RV up. As soon as there was power surging throughout the vehicle, Rick lowered the passenger window and tossed his and Jo’s soiled shirts out of it and then resumed map duty.

Tyreese was smiling with amusement at him when the two of them looked at each other. “Ready to roll out?”

“I am,” Rick confirmed.

“Alright.”

As the RV lurched forward, turning left back onto Memorial Avenue, dead ahead was a clear view of Lincoln Memorial and DC beyond it. And, although their route forced them to drive all the way down the road, just before the entrance to the bridge, they were able to loop around thanks to an off ramp that led them south along George Washington Memorial Parkway.

On their left was a perfect view of the river, and the further away from city they got, the lighter Rick was beginning to feel.

As heartbroken as he was, and would still remain for some time, the simple act of leaving the place where their nightmares had been confirmed was rather therapeutic; like releasing a helium-filled balloon into the air. You knew it would eventually come back down, somewhere, but, for the moment, it was going away.

“Goodbye yellow brick road, where the dogs of society howl,” Tyreese began to sing quietly to himself. “You can’t plant me in your penthouse, I’m going back to my plough…”

While the general mood inside the RV seemed to pick up, Jo had remained lost in her thoughts. Leaning forward, she had pulled the drawstring to lift the blinds so that she could see out the window as the scenery began to fly by. She could hear Tyreese singing, and she could hear the girls beginning to giggle over whatever card game Tara was now teaching them, but none of them gentle, lighthearted tones seemed to allow her to feel any of that.

Slumping over onto her side and letting her head hit the pillow, Jo lifted her legs onto the bed and then placed her hands over her stomach. As fresh tears began to yet again form at her eyes, she rolled onto her back and glimpsed the blue sky outside the window.

“Goodbye,” she whispered.

Notes

A/N: BOOM! New chapter that quickly! I'm on a roll now. Enjoy!
xoxo - Holly

Comments

I absolutely love this story. I love how you re wrote the whole story but still kept the basics and changed who dies and when. I absolutely love that you kept Sophia alive because I really wished they had left her alive in the tv show. I love what you did with Negan. Absolutely perfect.

AliKook AliKook
4/23/19

@Grimesgirl63 @Loul461

Thank you :)

The ending is perfect

Loul461 Loul461
7/7/17

Thank you so much for this wonderful story. I'm very excited to hear that you are planning a sequel, and will be working on "The World We Live In".

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
7/7/17

I know we are getting to the end but I just do not want this story to be over. This chapter was great as usual and I can't wait for the next update. Glad that your ankle is better and you are settling in with your grandmother. Now, if you could just get that "e" key to work again!

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
6/30/17