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Need You Now

Chapter 121

Time to fix a few things. :)





Monday, April 23nd, 2012



Sam swiped her hands over the moisture on her face and cringed at the amount of tears she found there. A wave of anger washed over her at the crying pile of snotty mess that Carol had caused and while she was unfamiliar with the concept of unleashing said rage out on someone, the whole notion was quite appealing at the moment. With a full head of determined steam, Sam crawled to her feet and stormed off the stage in the direction she had just come from.

"Carol, may I talk to you in private for a moment, please?" Sam said as politely as humanly possible since her mother was shooting curious stares at her from across the kitchen. Her jaw was firm and shoulders squared as she backed up in to the empty auditorium and waited for Carol to follow.

"I don't have too long, dinner is running behind tonight." Carol wiped her hands on the dishtowel hanging from the apron tied around her waist. "I'm not sure your mother is up to this much work to be honest, maybe you should talk to her about slowing down some or retiring all together? Surely she'd listen to you."

"Shut up." Sam surprised even herself by uttering those particular words, but was pleased to see the same shock flicker across Carol's face upon hearing them. "All you do is moan and complain about other people, what they can and can't do, how well they do things or how much they're screwing things up. Have you always been so judgmental and miserable or is it just something that being in Collins has brought out in you?" Sam paused, but not long enough for Carol to answer the question that was clearly rhetorical in nature. "I don't know why you hate me, because I am pretty sure I've done nothing to you to deserve it, but I’m a big enough person to apologize for whatever it is you've got against me."

"I don't hate you, Sam. I don't even know what gave you that impression. I've merely been trying to understand you." Carol explained, even though both women knew it was a pathetic attempt to cover her distaste for Sam. "And, our talk earlier was just to figure out what's going on with you and Daryl, which we both know is suspicious at best. I'm just trying to be a friend and keep you from getting hurt by him again, we both know that men don't change."

"What part of shut up did you not understand?" Sam snapped. Her gaze flickered past Carol, to where it appeared the entire kitchen staff was peering through the glass window in the door, trying to get a glimpse at what was going on between the two women. "You had your turn at talking, now it's mine. I’ll say my apology because that’s the way I was raised, but frankly…I don't care if you don't like me, I don't even care if you hate me. I don't need everyone in the world to like me. So long as the ones I care about love me, then that's all I need.

"Now, I understand if maybe you're upset because I seem to have so much in spite of the world having so little these days? I get that. I still have the majority of my family and you've lost yours. I can see how that could make someone dislike me, but...you know, I'm not sure that's the real reason." Sam took a step towards Carol and was pleased when the woman took a step backwards, like she had made Sam do earlier. "I think you're jealous. Plain and simple case of the ugly green monster rearing its head because Daryl suddenly has someone in his life that's not you. The two of you have shared a lot, you've no doubt told him every little detail of your life and yeah, he told you about the abuse his father dished out to him when he was a kid, so you thought you knew everything about him. Then, all of the sudden, you find out that he had a wife and a little baby girl that he lost and you're upset that he didn't share that with you, too? Is that it?"

"Did you ever stop to think about what I might have had with Daryl before we unfortunately ended up in this town, out of all the damned towns in Georgia? You think he's been pining away for you? You think someone like Daryl hasn't been out screwing whatever came along to bide his time?" Carol sneered and stood her ground as Sam took another step forward.

"So, you're saying that you and Daryl were involved? That's why you're upset and have been taking your anger out on me instead of him?" Sam uncrossed her arms and let them hang down by her sides; fists clenched in anger. "Because that's not what he told me."

"And you just believe everything he says? Men lie, honey. That's what they're good at." Carol scoffed at the naivety of the woman standing before her, even though the story she was trying to peddle was a lie in itself. "Hell, he was shacked up with Beth not long ago, one can only imagine what they were doing out there, all by themselves. Younger than you, prettier than you, that's all they're ever looking for...the newer model."

"No, he wasn’t lying to me. Daryl has a lot of faults, but he doesn't lie to me about that." Sam shook her head side to side, but kept her eyes on Carol the entire time; unblinking, unwavering. While she was more than aware of Daryl's ability to bend the truth, she fully believed him when it came to who he had and had not been screwing. She didn't know why, but her belief was there...even when it came to the redhead she'd accused him of cheating on her with so many years ago. Sam never truly believed he'd cheated on her, but the pain in her heart used it as yet another excuse to throw on to the pile of hurt they'd had between them after Emily's death. "What I do believe though, is that you're jealous. Not of me, not of Beth, or anyone else Daryl may have been with. I think you’re resentful because he's never chosen you. That sucks, but it's not my problem. It's yours, Carol. And, I will thank you to leave me the hell out of your issues."

Sam was itching for a fight, even though she had never been in one and wouldn't know how to properly throw a punch even if she had to; despite the crash course in self-defense that Cassie had attempted to teach her after the outbreak. Thankfully, Carol didn't do anything other than stand there and stare at Sam with a mix of anger and shock in her eyes. Completely finished with dealing with the woman, Sam turned on her heel and started to stalk across the auditorium, but glanced over her shoulder to add one final comment. "And, I'll have you know that my mother can run circles around you in that kitchen. So, until she's ready to give up her position, you can just make yourself happy in the same pants you got pissy in about the way things are done in there."

Once she in the hallway and was out of the line of sight of Carol's beady eyes, Sam leaned against the wall and tried to calm herself down; her hands shook and catching her breath was difficult after treading in unfamiliar waters. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and pushed away from the wall, fully intending on trying to salvage what time she had left before dinner by working on her music, but instead turned to find Sasha standing in front of the doorway staring at her with wide eyes. "Oh, for God's sake, are you here to start in on me, too? Why can't I get a break lately?"

"No, I'm not here to start anything, I promise." Sasha slowly approached Sam, her brown eyes wide and full of sincerity. "I just came by to talk to you...to apologize for the other night. I've been having a hard time lately, adjusting to a somewhat normal life after what we went through before coming here and I took it out on you. I was out of line and I'm sorry."

There were few things like a sincere apology to dampen the flames of anger. Sam laughed softly in spite of everything and offered the woman an honest to goodness smile. "Thank you for that, Sasha. I needed it, really."

"I don't even know why I took it out on you. That's the crazy thing." Sasha shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as she searched for a valid excuse that wasn't there. "I'd been with Ryan and we talked about his cousin for a while, rambled about our majors a bit, but for the most part he just kept going on and on about you and I honestly think that's what set it off for me."

Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing, because it sounded like another woman in Daryl's group was acting like a bitch because she was jealous. What were the odds? "So, Ryan was talking about me and it upset you? Because you like him?"

"No, that's what's so weird, I don't like Ryan...not that way. He's great and obviously very attractive, but he's just not it for me." Sasha's voice caught, hitched on the emotion that was welling inside of her. "I lost someone before we came here, someone that meant a lot to me. I lost Bob, we had barely had a chance to be more, before he was gone, you know? I’m lucky enough to still have Tyrese, but I’ve lost everyone else in my life…and then we come here and, I don’t know, I guess I just got reminded how much I’ve lost. Then, there was you and you’ve got everything the rest of us have lost and it upset me. How petty is that?"

At a loss for words, Sam chewed on her bottom lip and tried to figure out something to say to the young woman to console her. When two tears streaked from Sasha's big brown eyes, Sam realized there was only one thing she could do. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Sasha's thin frame and hugged her tightly; clearly surprising her because it took several shaky breaths before the hug was returned. Holding on to the woman she barely knew, Sam decided it felt good to be the one offering comfort and not being the one crying.

"Thanks. I...I don't know how you could do that. Hug me after the way I treated you." Sasha commented after she pulled away from the comfort Sam offered freely. She scrubbed her hands over her face quickly to remove the stray tears that hadn't leaked down on to the now damp shoulder of Sam's shirt. "I’m so sorry, Sam. Truly, I am…I should never have assumed anything about your life, your loss.” Sasha paused and sighed, knowing there was no way she could adequately convey just how sorry she was for verbally attacking Sam. After a few moments of awkward silence, she offered a slight smile and said, “Ryan said all I had to do was apologize and mean it."

"Well, he knows me pretty well by now. Are you going to be okay?" Sam rubbed her hand up and down Sasha's bare arm and smiled up at her; happy to see at least a little bit of happiness in her eyes.

"I think I will be...eventually."

Sam wondered what had happened to Sasha's Bob, but didn't want to ask right out, figuring if she wanted her to know she'd have said by now. The lights flickered on above them, signaling that night was not far off, and broke the spell between them. Sasha took a step back towards the exit at the end of the hallway and Sam took that as her cue to continue on to whatever she was about to do before their conversation. Before Sasha could disappear out of the exit, Sam called out to her and said, "If you ever need to talk or anything, feel free to find me. I've been told I give a pretty mean shoulder to cry on."

"I may just take you up on that." Sasha smiled, a watery gesture since the tears were still welled up in her eyes. As she stepped out on to the covered patio, Sasha thought for the first time in a long time that she might just be okay one day...and that thought alone relieved some of the strain on her heart.

Notes

Comments

@aphishinthec


Wow! Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it again. :)

Serenity Serenity
12/1/16

I binge read this too over thanksgiving weekend and literally could not put it down. I was a constant reader when the updates were regular, but sadly am the worst at remembering to review. Excellent story to binge read!!

aphishinthec aphishinthec
12/1/16

@Tripper


Squee! Glad you liked it just as much the second time around. :)

Serenity Serenity
11/28/16

So, I may have just gorged myself on this story and read it all over again in a few days. This is one of my very favourite stories of all time. So freakin' good. Thanks again for this wicked story!

Tripper Tripper
11/25/16

@Lunabelle4


Thank you so much!

Serenity Serenity
11/14/16