Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Need You Now

Chapter 82

Thank you so much for the reviews and votes on last weeks chapters! I should be back to my regular posting schedule of Sunday/Monday and Tuesday nights at least for a while.





Previously in the Past: Sam and Daryl buried their daughter. Sam confronted Daryl about his whereabouts the night of her wreck.


The past: Thursday, April 20th, 2000

Days turned in to weeks, weeks passed by and turned in to months, and during that time Daryl stood by and watched helplessly as the woman he loved with all of his heart slipped away from him; the distance between them spanning a chasm. Gone was the woman he married, the luminous, loving, affectionate Sam that filled his heart to the point where it threatened to burst from sheer happiness. Her bright emerald green eyes no longer sparkled, only reflecting the pain, grief and sorrow that her heart felt. Her hermit-like behavior evident in the sallow pallor of her skin, the rosy cheeked hue of youth and happiness absent since she refused to go outside unless she had to go to work, which was only three days a week. The lack of appetite now caused her clothes to hang limply on the once supple body that his hands had once explored at great depths.

It had been three months and three days since the day their baby girl had died, but the heartache, anguish and sorrow plagued Sam each passing day since that fateful moment and Daryl had no idea how to save her. Her nights were spent staring off in to space in Emily’s bedroom and falling asleep on the couch long after Daryl had declared defeat for the evening, giving up on getting her to come to bed with him. Most days were spent alone, with only the pain in her heart to keep her company, while he was at work, having found part time work at a garage just outside of town. Then there were days like this morning, where she appeared to be doing better, until you noticed the hollow look in her eyes and the smile that didn’t reach them.

“Morning. Did you, um…sleep okay?” Daryl asked timidly, walking on egg shells around Sam as she slipped past him to get something to drink before work; knowing full well that she likely hadn’t slept well at all on the couch. Dressed in a pair of beige dress pants and a powder blue button up shirt that had both probably fit her well once upon a time, she didn’t make eye contact with him, simply nodding her response, as she filled a travel cup with tap water. Scrubbing a hand over his face, his eyes weary and brimming with concern for his wife, Daryl took another stab in the dark at trying to get her to talk to someone, anyone at all, so long as she talked to someone about the pain that was eating her up inside, killing her slowly day by day. “Sam, baby…I’m worried about you. Think maybe it’s time you talked to someone, got some help?”

“I already told you no. I’m not going to talk to some shrink, Daryl. I’m fine.” Sam shook her head, her response spoken quietly, but firmly, as she eased past him once more and headed towards the carport door; knowing in her heart that she would never be fine again. To her, unless there was a doctor she could visit that would magically make all the pain vanish, or, better yet, make her memories disappear, then maybe. She certainly wasn’t going to go to a shrink’s office just to sit around and talk about her feelings and worries, because talking about them wouldn’t make them go away.

“Sam,” Daryl’s voice cracked as he said her name, heartbroken and distraught at having to resort to the only option he had left. His begging and pleading had fallen on deaf ears, but maybe an ultimatum might work; maybe, just maybe, the thought of losing him, too, would get Sam to agree to get help. When Sam glanced over her shoulder at him, the words got stuck in his throat, but he forced them out, albeit painfully; his heart breaking just a little bit more with each word. “Sam, I…I can’t live like this no more.”

Sam had thought that her heart couldn’t hurt any more, but hearing his words proved her wrong. Pain pierced through her heart as she turned to face him. The past few months had literally been the worst days of her life, and logically she knew that it wasn’t Daryl’s fault, or her own, that Emily had died as a result of the wreck, but for some reason, she couldn’t get past placing the blame on the both of them. However, her anger refused to listen to logic and raged inside her over Daryl’s lies, the betrayal she felt over him being with Merle instead of her the night of the wreck, the fact that she had to suffer through that night without him. As a result, she had shied away from him, refused to sleep in the same bed, denied him the affection she had once showered on him, and blatantly put as much distance between them as possible. She knew it was wrong, but for some reason that she couldn’t firmly place a finger on, she pushed him away.

Except for that one night. That one night when she'd gone to him in hopes that their love could create another life and fix the empty hole in her heart. But all the hope in her heart had been dashed away when she had gotten her period a few days later and it had seemed that the pain in her heart had magnified since then.

Turning around, fully facing him now, Sam squeezed her eyes shut, blocking the sting of tears that threatened to fill her eyes, and felt her anger creep up at Daryl’s proposition, his threat. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she slowly opened her eyes and stared at her husband with little warmth resonating in her gaze. Lifting her chin defiantly, having never been one to appreciate being given an ultimatum, she clutched the kitchen counter for support and felt a little dizzy as she coldly replied. “Don’t guess you have to. It’s not like there’s really any reason for us to be married, right? I’m not pregnant anymore.”

“You think that’s why…” Shaking his head at the absurdity of Sam’s reply, Daryl pushed aside the anger that swelled inside as he snatched his keys off the counter and stormed across the small space towards the door that she had previously been about to exit. He’d put up with a lot of shit from her, hell…even her family, and yet he had stuck by her through it all and now Sam was spouting off some bullshit about the pregnancy being the only reason he’d married her? Stopping with one hand on the doorknob, he glanced back to glare at Sam with eyes full of the ire and disbelief and ground out the only response he could think of before slamming the door shut behind him. “Fuck you, Sam.”

It seemed as though the entire house shook when Daryl stormed out of the house, leaving a shell shocked Sam standing in the kitchen with a wide eyed expression. Several minutes passed before she was able to move away from the spot where he’d left her, tears now flowing rapidly from her cheeks as she gasped for a breath that seemed elusive. Her heart thumped in her chest and she swayed from the dizziness that only intensified at the sound of his motorcycle speeding away from the house. Sinking to the floor, Sam huddled against the counter with her back pressed against it and her legs pulled up to her chest until the wave of panic that gripped at her chest subsided enough to let her crawl towards the phone and call in to work.

Kicking off her shoes, she stripped out of the work clothes and left them in a trail as she made her way towards the bedroom. Pulling on one of Daryl’s shirts, letting the smell of him that clung stubbornly to the fabric despite being washed soothe her nerves, Sam crawled in to the bed he’d only recently vacated and pulled the blankets up over her head to block out the world around her.

Night had long since fallen outside, the bedroom was blanketed in complete darkness by the time she finally crawled out of bed. After a quick search of the house proved her suspicions that Daryl hadn’t returned home after work. Feeling worse than she thought she ever could feel, Sam sank down on to the couch and turned on the television, immersing herself in a rerun of a show from her childhood, and waited for him to come home. Twelve episodes passed, barely noticed by Sam, and the clock in the kitchen showed that it was long past midnight. With a heavy heart, she had to admit to herself that Daryl wasn’t coming home that night…she just hoped he’d be there in the morning.

But, sadly, he wasn’t there when she woke up the next morning, the bright rays of sunshine mocking her gloomy demeanor. Sam stood up from where she had fallen asleep on the couch and went to the door to see if Daryl’s motorcycle was outside. Fully aware that doing so was absurd since the loud engine would have woken her up if he had returned, but did it anyway and found the results she expected. Turning away from the door, chewing furiously on the ragged nail on her thumb, she fretted for half a second before running towards the bedroom to put on clothes and go try to find him.

Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, disheveled hair pulled into a messy knot on top of her head, Sam navigated her way through Collins in search of Daryl in her brand new bright blue Audi TT, paid for with the money from insurance on the one she crashed, as well as a little extra from her father. Guilt money, she had concluded upon receiving the check, but accepted anyway. After checking the places she thought he might be, and a couple she doubted he would be, Sam sighed when faced with the realization that she was going to have to check the place she was certain he was located, a place she had no desire to go…Merle’s. With her lip curling with disgust, she turned left at the next red light and drove towards the mobile home park where her brother in law lived, the trailer he used to share with Daryl and consistently got kicked out of and yet always seemed to talk his way back in to. After several miles and a set of railroad tracks, Sam pulled in to the parking spot in front of Merle’s trailer, her tires crunching on the gravel below, and felt a wave of relief at the sight of Daryl’s motorcycle parked next to his brother's. Shoving the car in park, she let the door slam behind her as she darted up the gravel walkway and knocked on the cracked front door.

A few moments passed, agonizingly slow, while her knocks went unanswered. Banging on the door more forcefully, she eyeballed a nearby window and was halfway considering crawling through it when the door finally opened. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of his face staring back at her and guilt gnawed at her upon seeing the dark circles of exhaustion beneath his eyes. Smiling up at him hopefully, Sam missed the look of worry that flashed across Daryl’s face as she pushed past him in to the dimly lit living room. “I’m so sorry about yesterday. I…I don’t know why I said that…things have just been so bad, and I just lashed out. Please say you’ll forgive me?”

When the sound of loud banging rousted him from an alcohol induced sleep coma, the last person he expected to find on the other side of the front door was Sam. Just the sight of her standing there, hair a mess and dressed in clothes he knew she’d worn at least twice that week, with an actual smile on her face delighted him more than words could express. Hearing her words, her fast spoken apology, had his heart soaring with hope, but as her pleas for forgiveness trailed off and the smile on her face faded, Daryl followed her line of sight over his shoulder towards the second bedroom and felt every ounce of hope fade from his body. Whipping his head back around towards Sam, his eyes were wide as he tried to explain the situation. “Sam, no…it ain’t what it looks like. She ain’t here…”

Sam couldn’t believe her eyes when the door to one of the bedrooms opened and a half-dressed woman, if you could call a tank top and underwear dressed, sauntered out in to the living room headed towards the bathroom without a care in the world. Daryl’s old bedroom. Vaguely familiar, Daryl’s explanation faded away as Sam’s brain recognized the curvaceous redheaded woman as the same one that had been at their house when she’d come to tell Daryl she was pregnant. Tearing her eyes away from the scantily clad woman, Sam turned her attention back to Daryl with every intention of screaming at him, but the fight drained out of her. Blinking back the tears, Sam started backing away from Daryl towards the door; flight winning out over flight as she darted from the residence.

“Sam!” Daryl screamed her name, desperation creeping in to his voice as he darted out the door behind her; shirtless, barefoot and his blue jeans unbuttoned. Chasing her down the gravel walkway, his hand circled around her thin arm seconds before she reached her car. Grabbing her more forcefully than he intended to, he winced when Sam turned around and lashed out at him, hitting him in the chest as hard enough to cause the keys in her hand to scratch his chest upon contact. “She ain’t here with me. Came back with Merle’s woman, damn it! I didn’t fuck her.”

Shaking her head in disbelief, Sam jerked her arm out of Daryl’s grasp and started back towards the car. The image of the bedroom door opening, the barely dressed woman stumbling out and the state of disarray the sheets on the bed flashed through her mind, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. Tears spilled over her lashes and her chin trembled as she stared up at her husband, taking in his disheveled hair, lack of shirt and unbuttoned jeans, and scoffed bitterly. While the fact that they had only had sex one time in the past three months was solely her fault, her heart too broken after finding out she hadn’t conceived that one night in February when she had went to him in hopes of mending the gaping hole in their marriage, she knew that leaving him deprived wouldn’t lead to anything good. “Yeah, sure. I’m not stupid, Daryl.” Yanking open the car door, she looked up at him with rage in her eyes and let the words she would soon regret slip from her mouth.

“I wish I’d never met you.”

Notes

Comments

@aphishinthec


Wow! Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it again. :)

Serenity Serenity
12/1/16

I binge read this too over thanksgiving weekend and literally could not put it down. I was a constant reader when the updates were regular, but sadly am the worst at remembering to review. Excellent story to binge read!!

aphishinthec aphishinthec
12/1/16

@Tripper


Squee! Glad you liked it just as much the second time around. :)

Serenity Serenity
11/28/16

So, I may have just gorged myself on this story and read it all over again in a few days. This is one of my very favourite stories of all time. So freakin' good. Thanks again for this wicked story!

Tripper Tripper
11/25/16

@Lunabelle4


Thank you so much!

Serenity Serenity
11/14/16