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The New Resident

Chapter 19

Three hours passed quickly, and before Carrie knew it the community meeting was only minutes away. Though she had done nothing more than shower and hide in her bedroom, the afternoon seemed to pass in a heart beat. After everything that had happened that day she felt somewhat shell shocked…it had been quite some time since anything dangerous had happened. In a way she was still in disbelief, this feeling exacerbated by her reluctance to be around anyone else that afternoon. She wanted nothing more than to sit in peace as she digested the events, her mind taking her through all the scenarios that might have played out.

Quite possibly she owed her life to Rick…again.

She and Rosita were clueless about the danger that awaited them outside the walls, and neglectful to have not taken their weapons with them. In hindsight, Carrie regretted this poor decision immensely. It wasn’t just themselves they had endangered, they had put their entire community at risk by compromising their own safety. Rick had been forced to go outside and get them, risking his own life to prevent them running into the man with the W, the Wolf. Furthermore, any number of things could have gone differently. Had he been armed the Wolf could have hurt them, he could have taken them hostage…she and Rosita had made a huge mistake that day, one that was uncharacteristic.

Whether it was divine intervention or a stroke of luck, the sequence of events that followed worked in the community’s favour. She and Rosita had accidentally evaded the Wolf, Rick had found them quickly, Carl had taken an accurate shot…things could have gone very differently. With that in mind, Carrie had a reason other than avoiding reality for staying in her bedroom that afternoon. She was ashamed of herself for growing so complacent, for being neglectful…that wasn’t like her. Wishing she could hide a little longer, it was with great reluctance that she emerged from her bedroom and went to the house next door to help Tara. As the community meeting drew nearer, the parents of the younger children who had been excused came by the second house where they would be baby sat. Why Tara would ask Carrie of all people for help she did not know, for even after six weeks she hadn’t quite adjusted to interacting with Judith, and she had very little to do with the other children. She didn’t publicly admit that she disliked children in general, it wasn’t a notion people were very accepting of, so when Tara asked for help she had no choice but to accept.

It wasn’t such an arduous task in reality, all she really did was find some extra pillows and the bean bag from Noah’s bedroom before making Tara a pot of coffee to get her through the afternoon. In fact, while the children happily talked amongst themselves and began to settle in, Carrie could see it wasn’t them who would be making her grind her teeth…it was their parents. Reluctant to attend the community meeting in the first place, Barbara and Charlyne seemed reluctant to entrust their children into Tara’s care, but not more so than Anna. Much to Carrie’s surprise, Anna seemed outright anxious to be leaving Haley for a short while, behaviour she hadn’t seen her exhibit before today. Even after Barbara and Charlyne left, Anna lingered a while longer, fussing over Haley despite the fact she’d be barely more than a block away.

The stress of that day was building up in the back of Carrie’s mind, and as she felt her patience waning and her frustration peaking, she removed herself from the immediate situation. She couldn’t stand to watch Anna worrying, and nor could she stand to hear Tara reassuring her with the patience of a saint. Instead she wandered through the living room and positioned herself by the front windows. On the couch behind her the five children were getting settled in, excitedly passing a selection of DVDs back and forth as they tried to choose. Dreading what was coming very soon, she folded her arms and leant against the window frame as she looked outside onto the street, observing Rick, Abraham and Rosita as they talked. They’d been in deep discussion for about ten minutes, ever since Rick had dropped off Judith who immediately burst into tears upon his departure. Her cries had stopped the moment Tara distracted her with a toy, but almost as if to echo Judith’s sadness, Carrie too was reluctant to see Rick go…but on that note she was glad he didn’t stay either. They hadn’t spoken to one another since everything had happened at the Infirmary, since Rick had forced Pete to let the Wolf die. If they were to speak, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say to him.

So instead, Carrie watched him from afar, trying to figure out exactly what he was planning for the community meeting that would start shortly. He, Abraham and Rosita were huddled together as he appeared to count down a list on his fingers. They each looked worried about something…worried, but determined. Abraham started making wild gestures with his arms, forming his fingers into a cage as though he was throttling someone by the neck, but there was no true indication of what he was talking about. Rick nodded in agreement, turning to Rosita next. She appeared to think for a moment, scuffing the toe of her boot against the ground before she too nodded. They talked a little more and then came to an agreement, Abraham and Rosita nodding once more before departing. As they walked up the road and then turned towards the gate, Abraham put his hand on Rosita’s waist, a gesture that made Carrie ache with jealousy. It was a simple gesture, but one that meant a lot…that’s what she wanted with Rick, but she was unsure if it would ever happen.

Looking back to him, she wasn’t surprised to find that he still had more to discuss, and Michonne, Glenn and Noah were his audience now. As they talked, Rick gestured back and forth up the street, apparently laying out some kind of plan, something he needed them to do, but again it was unclear to Carrie. Nevertheless she watched them, and as the serious conversation continued she couldn’t help but feel a little left out. It seemed Rick was talking to everyone but her, and though she’d always known she wasn’t the inner circle of his group, neither was Noah really, and yet there he was. As soon as these thoughts occurred to her, she told herself to settle down, to not act like Rick was working against her. She may be feeling left out, but that was probably her issue more than his…besides, on one level she couldn’t blame him. He was pissed with her for leaving the walls without a gun, and she’d surely hurt his confidence in the Infirmary…she’d refused to look at him, refused to take part in and give support for what he was doing.

It had been his intention all along to let the Wolf die, he had never intended for Pete to save his life…decisions like that? While on the surface they were tactically right, Carrie always got hung up on the morality of it, whereas Rick didn’t. For that reason, and knowing her sense of morality directly contradicted what he knew to be tactically right, she had avoided his eye. She knew he was making the right decision, but if he looked to her for support she wasn’t sure she would be able to give it. He always knew so much more than she did…he had more experience, more understanding of this world. She still had the capacity to trust, to give the benefit of the doubt. In one way, expressing her morality would only hold Rick back.

Noah was departing now, leaving only Glenn and Michonne talking with Rick. They nodded and shrugged their shoulders a few times, but their expressions were of clear determination. Carrie could tell that they didn’t like whatever it was Rick had planned, but that they understood the necessity of it. Like always, they trusted him, they support him. Knowing that it wasn’t always that easy for her, guilt burned inside Carrie. Would it always be like this? Would she always second guess Rick? That’s not how she wanted it to be, she wanted to have complete faith in him, because she knew that he always made the right decision and for the right reason…she wished it were that black and white for her.

A minute later Michonne and Glenn departed too, but as though she’d been waiting Carol was there in an instant to take their place, although this conversation was a little shorter. They spoke quickly, exchanging a few brief words before Carol started on her way again, still talking over her shoulder. Rick stood there and listened, nodding at something she said before suddenly looking up at the second house, his gaze falling directly on where Carrie stood in the window. Her heart thudded, her cheeks tinged pink when she realised she’d been caught watching him from afar, but rather than look away in embarrassment she held his gaze. If he wanted to leave her out of whatever it was he was planning, the fine. He could do whatever the hell he wanted, but it was still a free country. She could watch him if she pleased.

But a moment later Carrie felt bad for her harsh thoughts, seeing that he was coming towards the house now. She felt a flicker of relief and sighed…whatever he was planning, he was coming to tell her about it. He wasn’t shutting her out, he wasn’t giving her a cold shoulder. As he climbed the front steps Carrie went to the door and opened it, but her relief turned to surprise when she found him hovering halfway across the porch.

“Hey,” he said awkwardly, looking rather uncomfortable.

The momentary relief she had experienced began to fizzle out. “Hey.”

“Could you get Tara, please?” he requested, his tone too polite. “I, er…I don’t want Judith to see me here.”

Not saying anything, Carrie turned and left him there, leaving the door wide open as she went into the kitchen. She and Anna were discussing the snacks, Tara trying her best to placate the discomfort Anna felt at leaving her daughter here, almost as if she too knew that something significant was going to happen at the community meeting. When she interrupted them, Carrie could see the relief on Tara’s face. Standing in the kitchen with her arms folded again, she watched as Tara joined Rick on the front porch, the two of them talking quietly. As they discussed something, Rick was glancing up at Carrie and then looking away quickly, but his eyes always returned a few moments later. The previous frustration Carrie felt with him returned, but worse this time. When he finally left, he did so avoiding Carrie’s gaze, turning away and leaving without a word.

“Is everything alright?” Anna asked gently, placing her hand on Carrie’s arm. “You seem upset.”

Carrie shook her head and forced a smile. “No, everything’s fine. Thank you.”

“It must have been very stressful,” Anna said sympathetically, and it took Carrie a moment to realise she was referring to the Wolf’s death.

“We should get to the meeting,” she told her kindly, wanting to change the subject. “They’ll be starting soon.”

Anna hesitated and then shook her head, looking into the living room. “No, I’ll wait a little longer,” she said, clearly stalling. “I just need to make sure Haley’s alright.”

Following her gaze, Carrie looked at Anna’s daughter Haley, observing her white blonde hair and tanned skin. It was quite the contrast to Anna and Michael’s dark hair and olive complexions, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Haley had always been their daughter, or if it had happened that way after the outbreak. Watching the way she and the other children debated over which movie they were going to watch, Carrie smiled to herself.

“I think Haley’s got this under control,” she said supportively, feeling a little more patient than before.

Unable to argue, Anna nodded. “I’ll just stay a little longer,” she insisted worrisomely.

Likely understanding the reason for Anna’s delay, Tara stepped up and took charge, expertly calling the five children to attention as she collected the DVDs. Keeping her voice light hearted and playful, she helped them come to their decision, ruling out three of the choices and then hiding the final two behind her back.

“Okay, which hand? Left or right?” she asked, shuffling the DVDs behind her back.

“Left!” Conner exclaimed.

Courtney moaned at choice. “No, the right one!”

“Yeah, the right one,” Haley added supportively.

Tara shook her head and revealed the DVD in her left hand. “Conner was first. Finding Nemo!”

The final choice was greeted with a mixture of groans and cheers, but the protesters settled quickly with Tara’s assurance that the alternative would be the choice next time. As the kids settled into their seats and Tara inserted the disc, she kept them organised with the expertise of someone who knew children well.

“I’m making popcorn,” she finally concluded as the menu appeared on the television. “But don’t give any to Judith okay?” she told them, looking at Judith who was sitting between Sam and Haley on the couch.

“But, what if she wants some?” Sam asked in concern.

“I’m making her a different snack, she won’t mind. Is everyone ready? Courtney, do you need your glasses for the television?”

At this Courtney leapt to her feet and raced over to the kitchen bench where she had left them, and when she returned to her seat Tara started the DVD. As an animated Great Barrier Reef appeared on the television screen, Carrie sighed and checked her watch, seeing that they really ought to be going. While Tara closed the front curtains, she tried to coax Anna into leaving, but when she stalled their departure again Carrie had to force down her frustration. Completely engrossed in the move already, it was clear Haley was unconcerned by her mother’s imminent departure, and that it was Anna who was worried about leaving.

“Come on Anna, we have to go,” she said as kindly as possible. “They won’t start until we’re all there, they’ll be waiting on us. Haley is fine, you know she is.”

Though she was still hesitant, Anna finally agreed to leave, but only after a last minute consultation with Tara, who soothed Anna’s worries without frustration. Letting her linger long enough to give Haley a kiss on the cheek, Carrie opened the front door and the two of them began to leave, but Tara stopped her at the last minute. Hovering in the front doorway, she gestured for Carrie to come back, and when she did Tara spoke in a low voice.

“Hey, look,” she began gently. “Whatever it is Rick did to make you give him the stink eye…unless he’s been stepping out on you, give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“That’s your recommendation?” Carrie questioned, annoyed with Tara’s need to give advice. “Benefit of the doubt?”

Tara nodded. “Yeah.”

Gritting her teeth, Carrie set aside her pride and asked, “You know what’s going on? He’s told you?”

Again, Tara nodded.

“What is it?”

This time Tara sighed, looking at her apologetically. “If he hasn’t told you, then I can’t tell you. You know I can’t.”

She laughed bitterly. “So, there is something going on? Something he doesn’t want me in on?”

“Carrie…” Tara began. “Just go with it, okay? You know you can trust him. He’s got the bigger picture in mind.”

Giving this a moment of thought, Carrie agreed with Tara, albeit reluctantly. Despite this, her agreement didn’t mean acceptance…if Rick wanted to keep her in the dark about something important that he had planned then that was his prerogative, but it didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Have fun with the kids,” she said shortly, though she tried to keep her tone light, not wanting to misdirect her frustration onto Tara.

Departing, she descending the front steps and joined Anna on the pavement, but the sound of the lock turning made her pause. She looked back at the second house, hearing a loud click that indicated the deadbolt too was locked…that alone was an indication that things were not alright. They never locked doors in Alexandria, they didn’t need to. But accepting that this was an occasion where she was not privy to the finer details, Carrie was forced to swallow her pride and simply get on with it. She was not a part of Rick’s inner circle. She’d always known that, but the last hour was making that exceptionally clear to her.

She and Anna fell into step with each other, and as she always did Carrie put on her best face for the Alexandrian resident. It was her job to win people’s trust and make friends, even at times when things were difficult…she couldn’t do that with a scowl on her face. They made the short walk to Deanna’s courtyard, catching Abraham and Rosita as they arrived from the other direction. As Anna went through the gate first, Carrie lingered and waited for the others, not surprised that they seemed to be hiding something from her. They stood by one of the townhouse garages, propping a long pole up against the wall as Rosita tossed some heavy duty gloves into a bucket. Realising they were being watched, she gave Carrie a nod of acknowledgement and then came up the road to her, leaving Abraham behind.

“Everything alright?” Carrie asked, looking at the bucket they had tossed the gloves into. They only wore the heavy duty gloves when they were dealing with the Walkers.

“Yeah,” Rosita nodded, ushering Carrie into the courtyard where the whole community stood waiting. “Just dealing with some Walkers outside the walls.”

Though she didn’t believe her, for Walkers outside the walls were typically taken care of by the traps or the Watch tower, Carrie held her tongue. Looking around for an empty space, she led Rosita over towards the stairs that led up to Deanna’s terrace, glad to see they were free. As she took a seat and Rosita sat beside her, Carrie looked around and observed the community, for from this point she could see almost everyone. Michonne and Carl stood on the terrace above her leaning against the railing, while Glenn stood by one entrance gate, with Noah and Eugene standing by the rear. Carol stood on the edge of the bricked flower beds a few yards away from Rick, while Maggie and Sasha had taken shifts on the watch posts. Exchanging a glance with Carol, Carrie knew that just like she had, Carol had chosen her position for a reason. From their places, they could see all the residents who were crowded in, could keep track and observe their demeanour. Just like Carol, Carrie too was responsible for subtly working on these people, for getting them on board and making sure they understood everything. This meeting would be an important indication for how things were going to progress in the community, so Carol and Carrie needed to have a thorough understanding of how people felt.

“Is everyone here yet?” Glenn asked.

There was a slight murmur, everyone looking around to see who was missing.

“It looks like only Betsy,” Deanna reported, joining Rick at the front. “Why don’t we get started?”

“No,” he said abruptly. “We’ll wait for her.”

Looking around, Carrie took note that everyone seemed to be getting restless, eager to get this over and done with and frustrated by the delay. At Deanna’s request, Spencer left to go and find Betsy, who was likely stalling her arrival as much as Anna had. In a moment of disbelief, Carrie realised that only a few hours ago she had been at Betsy’s house with the other women, sharing salacious gossip while Erin fawned over Rick…she got the feeling that sentiment had changed since then.

“How do you think this is going to play out?” she asked Rosita.

She just shrugged. Like she, Rosita seemed done with the day, like she had given up on it. What happened in the Infirmary had been rough on her too. “It could go anyway.”

Arriving and squeezing past them to take a seat on the stairs above, Abraham snorted in disagreement. “There’s only one way this is going to go,” he muttered quietly, popping the cap off a bottle of beer and gesturing towards Rick. “His way.”

Following his gaze, Carrie couldn’t help but agree. Looking at Rick, who was standing down by the gate with his arms folded, his Colt glinting in the dying sunlight, she saw the determined look on his face. Though he was being patient and was trying to keep his body language open, Carrie knew his patience was lacking. Whatever he said next was undoubtedly going to be put into action…the amount of resistance he encountered was the unknown factor. Dwelling on what Tara has said to her, that she should give Rick the benefit of the doubt, Carrie wondered if she’d be able to. Whatever it was he had planned, he was going to initiate it now. She couldn’t help but worry, even more so given the fact he was intentionally keeping her in the dark about it. As they waited for the last resident to join them, Rick suddenly looked up at Carrie and caught her eye, but he gave nothing away with his expression or body language. He simply looked at her for a few moments before turning away, his attention caught by Betsy’s reluctant arrival.

“Let’s get started,” he said, watching as Betsy moved through the crowd and joined her husband, David. “I want to start by making sure that we’re all on the same page, that everyone understands what happened today, and why things played out the way they did.”

He paused, looking around everyone. Despite her frustration with him, Carrie admired the way he addressed the people, and hoped he managed to keep his tone as even and well paced as it was now. Making sure everyone was paying attention, he made eye contact with those who weren’t, and didn’t continue until he was satisfied he had everyone’s attention.

“From the north post, Shelly noticed a man wandering around outside the walls, going in and out of the houses. When I saw him, I noticed that he had a W on his forehead, which was what initiated our reaction. We shot him, I talked to him for a few minutes, and then I told Pete to let him die. That’s what happened. Everyone following me so far?”

There was a general murmur of agreement, but Carrie noticed more and more people beginning to avoid eye contact, even though they were still listening. They wanted to know what had happened, they wanted to be well informed, but they didn't want to engage with the finer details.

“The reason we reacted in that way, is we know that this guy and his group are a significant threat to us,” Rick continued. “We know that they’ve been mutilating Walkers by cutting a W into their foreheads, the same W this man had today. We know they’re violent, and that they’re mentally unstable. In January before my group arrived here, we saw what these people did to another community of survivors, even though at the time we didn’t realise the implications. You all know Noah, but you don’t know that these people with the W’s attacked his community. They broke down their walls, set houses on fire, murdered people and dismembered them. That was in Richmond.”

Anxious whispers broke out, Carrie pleased to see that everyone seemed alarmed, but by this last point in particular. Alarmed by their proximity to Richmond, worry and fear began to spread quickly, but Rick continued speaking, everyone falling silent as they started listening again.

“Given the increasing number of Walkers with the W that we’re seeing, and what happened today, it’s safe to assume that these people are nearby. This group presents a very real danger to us.”

“Who are they?” someone asked.

“They’re a group of survivors living rough, and they’ve probably been that way from the start. When I talked to that man today, he told me they call themselves Wolves…he repeatedly offered to free me, to save me.”

“From what?” the same person asked.

“From this world,” Rick answered, shifting his weight. “That’s what these people, these Wolves, do. They kill people on the belief that they’re saving them. To people like you and I, that doesn’t make sense. To them, it makes perfect sense. We don’t know what other people they’ve killed, but we know they’ve attacked Richmond, and that now they’re here.”

“Do they know where we are?” Dean asked.

“Possibly. The man today seemed surprised when he saw our Walker traps, which makes me think he probably came here by accident. That said,” he continued, seeing a few people sigh in relief. “It’s only a matter of time before they do find us. They’ve been working in the area for quite some time, and they’re likely to explore in this direction if they decide to look for their man.”

Rick glanced over at her, and remembering the way she had been avoiding him all day, she made a point of nodding supportively, encouraging him. She knew her avoidance of him must have been difficult, particularly when on the supply run he’d always been so concerned with the way she perceived the darker side of himself.

“Are there any questions about what happened today?” Rick asked, looking around at everyone. “I want everyone on the same page.”

A hand was tentatively raised, and it was Ron. Standing between his parents, his face was a mixture of curiosity and worry. “Did Carl really shoot that guy?”

It was Carl who answered. “Yes,” he said shortly, his voice heard by all. Carrie could see his Beretta in the holster around his leg, and she suspected he felt safer having it on his person.

To everyone’s surprise, Ron gave an embarrassed smile. “That’s totally bad ass.”

Horror crossed Jessie’s face at this remark, and she swiftly looked around to chastise her son while a disgruntled murmur passed around the residents. They looked at Ron in disapproval, but their disapproval was also directed at Carl. Glancing up at him, Carrie felt immensely sorry for him in that moment. Though Rick had tried to negate his involvement in the man’s death, she got the feeling that Carl could see through this attempt…after talking with Rick he’d left to take watch from the west post, and Carrie had watched him from her bedroom window. He had walked across the field with his head bowed and his hands in his pockets, far from the usual body language he showed.

“It’s fine,” Rick began, surprising everyone as he raised his hand in request for silence. He looked at Ron now, his tone very serious. “I understand why you think that way. For your sake, I hope you continue thinking that way, because thinking that means you’ve never had to shoot someone. You’ve never had to carry that burden, and I hope you don’t.” While Ron looked down at his feet, suitably shamed, Rick simply looked around at everyone else. “Who else? Questions?”

There was a short pause, everyone still digesting what Carl had done before someone else raised their hand. It was a man Carrie didn’t really know…Bruce?

“Yeah, I’ve got a question,” he said quietly. “You’re the one who told Carl to shoot him, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you…you made Pete let him die?”

“Yes.”

There was an awkward pause, with Bruce clearly reconsidering his next question now that Rick seemed unperturbed by giving an honest answer. “Why did you have to be so drastic?” he enquired, looking to the people beside him for support. “Why couldn’t you just…capture him?”

“And then do what?” Rick asked.

“You know, lock him up.”

Rick shook his head, surprisingly patient. “And have another mouth to feed? Aside from the danger of him getting away and returning to his group, he’d be a danger to us, even in captivity. He tried very hard to hurt us today.”

“Well…you did shoot him,” Carter remarked.

Nodding in agreement, Rick actually smiled. “Yeah, we did.” Clearing his throat, he scratched the back of his neck while exchanging a glance with Carol. “The fact is, I didn’t have a choice. If we let him leave, then he’d bring his people back here, and frankly we would not be able to defend ourselves. It came down to a simple choice. Him, or us.”

More restless murmurs swept through the courtyard, people quietly debating the merits of Rick’s explanation, and Carrie could tell from their tone that they weren’t comfortable with it.

“Are there any other questions?” he continued.

“Yes,” Carol spoke up, raising her hand before awkwardly lowering it. “What now?”

“What now?”

Carol nodded, looking nervous. “How do we defend ourselves against these…Wolves?”

Recognising why Rick had made a point of looking at Carol, Carrie was amused by the meek and tentative way she acted. Carol wore her mask very well, and blended right in with the concerned Alexandrians…she served her role effectively. At the sound of her uncertainty and fear, others began looking restless and worried too, which was undoubtedly exactly what she wanted. She had taken people’s judgement of Rick’s actions and turned it around, making them scared of something other than him.

“How do we defend ourselves? Rick repeated the question. He paused, making sure that everyone was listening. “We start by making some changes around here. Changes that will be good for us. Changes that mean every single resident is capable of defending themselves, and their family if they are attacked. Don’t think it’s not going to happen, because it’s not a matter of it, but when. These Wolves are not the only people out there that want to hurt us.”

This remark sent a flurry of whispers around the crowded courtyard, and Carrie could see the moment regret crossed Rick’s face, seeing the flickers of panic he had started.

“Those other people are in Ohio,” someone called out. “They’re too far away.”

“They were only a problem on the supply run,” someone else added.

As everyone began talking at once, the volume of the large group beginning to rise, Carrie waited for Rick to swiftly shut it down, but when he didn’t she stepped in. “Everyone stop,” she called out, her voice loud and firm. At once, the murmurs began to die down, everyone looking at her. “Just listen.”

While everyone slowly fell silent, Rick gave her an appreciative nod before he began speaking again.

“The first thing we’re making changes to, is the armoury. Today, two people left the walls without their guns, because Olivia wasn’t around. Then when we had an emergency, I had to break the doors down to get what we needed. Now that is not Olivia’s fault,” he quickly clarified, seeing people glance in her direction. “That’s the system’s fault, not hers. We need access to our weapons at a moment’s notice, but we can’t expect Olivia to chain herself to the armoury twenty four hours a day. First thing tomorrow morning, the armoury is going to be moved. We’re clearing out the rooms upstairs, we’re going to install solid doors with combination locks. One room will have our general use weapons, the second and third rooms will have everything else. All rooms will have separate combinations, but only certain people will be able to access the second and third.

“The next problem we had today, was that it took too much time and noise to get everyone safely inside. We’re going to practice emergency drills, so that if there’s an emergency, everyone gets to where they need to be quickly and silently. The next change, is that all those who I deem necessary, are going to start carrying sidearms inside the walls. That is not negotiable,” he said firmly, sharing a look with Deanna as everyone muttered uncomfortably. “That is necessary. If we come under attack, we won’t get any notice. We need to defend ourselves immediately.”

“Who will have guns?” Barbra loudly asked, sounding outraged. “Just your group, I suppose?”

“Anyone who I deem necessary. If you want permission to carry too, just say so. Who else has a problem with this?”

There was absolute silence.

“Good. Because starting nine o’clock tomorrow morning, anyone who is not fully competent to handle a basic firearm…their training is going to be non-stop until they are. Until everyone is fully competent, there is no more school, no more book club, no more work on the walls. That is not negotiable. Furthermore, all of the children are going to learn basic gun safety. How to handle a gun, how to pick it up safely, how to clear it,” he continued, speaking over the top of everyone as they began protesting. “This is not negotiable,” he said loudly.

“Deanna!” someone shouted, appealing to her for support. “He can’t be serious.”

“You can’t force me to let my children start handling guns,” Barbra said loudly, looking at Anna and Jessie for support. “They’re our children, it’s our decision.”

As the protests continued, their volume and hysteria growing, Rick turned and looked at Deanna expectantly. Watching her, Carrie didn’t have the patience to feel sorry for her, despite acknowledging that this loss of control must not be easy for their leader to accept.

“Enough,” she said sharply, stepping forward and jutting her chin out. “I said, that’s enough!”

For a small woman her commands sure did pack a punch. At the sound of her words, the protests began dying down, but it was clear the residents were not done with them, that they would not be so easily quietened.

“I told Rick he would have my unconditional support,” Deanna declared, taking a deep breath now. “And he has it. What he says is going to happen.”

“Why?” Barbara demanded loudly, looking at Rick. “Why are you bringing kids into this? They’re too young for guns.”

“Because a gun is more dangerous in the hands of someone who doesn’t know how to use it, than it is in the hands of someone who does. That goes for children too. They have to know how to handle a gun safely, because sooner or later they’re going to come across one. Especially given the emergency bags every house has already been given.”

“They don’t have guns in them,” Erin remarked in concern.

“No,” Rick agreed. “Right now, they have radios, batteries, flashlights, flares, knives, medical kits. Once our safety training is up to my standard, those bags are going to have handguns too.”

“No!” Barbra insisted, her protest echoed by a few others.

“You’re not putting guns in my house,” Bruce said.

“Mine either,” Michael agreed, shaking his head in disdain. “I’m not having a gun around Haley, no way.”

“That’s enough,” Deanna shouted again, folding her arms across her chest and looking at everyone impatiently. “This is not up for discussion. This is what’s going to happen.”

The crowd started shifting, and while at first Carrie thought someone was trying to leave, she was glad to see someone coming forward. It was the guy who was married to Rosemary, the stocky guy with the buzz cut whose poor attempts at humour made him somewhat of a bore. Seeing him come forward, Carrie braced herself, hoping he would be supportive.

“Rick is right,” he said calmly, allowing Carrie to breathe a sigh of relief. “It’s safer for them if they know how to properly handle a firearm than to be clueless. It’s for their own good.” Ignoring Barbara’s attempt to continue arguing, he looked over at Jessie and Pete now. “You should let Ron learn how to shoot too.”

“You’ve brought up my next point, thank you,” Rick said, he took looking at Jessie and Pete, and then at Nicholas and Paula. “Enid already knows how, but Ron and Mikey are going to learn how to fire a gun. They’re old enough, and they should know how to defend themselves. They’re safer knowing than not knowing. Then they’re going to learn how to drive too. Same goes for the younger kids, especially Sam. If they’re tall enough to reach the gas, they should know how to drive.”

This news brought about a less protests than before, but Carrie took careful note of those it pertained to. Nicholas and Paula looked as though they had discussed this before, whereas Pete and Jessie looked particularly uncomfortable. In fact, Pete looked annoyed. He too noticing their discomfort, Rick made a point of keeping the discussion moving, not wanting anyone to dwell on one particular part for too long.

“Pete’s going to be training more people in emergency care,” he announced, though this seemed to come as a surprise to the man in question. Pete’s expression soured even more. “Things like gunshot wounds, stab wounds, amputations - Yes, amputations,” Rick continued as the uncomfortable murmurs started yet again. “If a person has been bitten or scratched on a limb, they still have a chance. If you do it quickly enough, and properly, you can save that person’s life. The importance of that cannot be overlooked because some of you are squeamish.”

“You talking from experience?”

Pete’s enquiry was a thinly veiled challenge, one that put Carrie on edge. She’d seen the way Pete had reacted when Rick told him to stop treatment, and she’d seen firsthand the way he treated Denise.

“Yes,” Rick answered, much to everyone’s surprise. “Since the outbreak, I’ve seen three amputations, one of which I did myself. You should talk to Maggie. Ask her how much it meant that she got to keep her father for another few months because I wasn’t too scared or squeamish to cut off his leg.”

There was stunned silence, the entire courtyard looking at Rick in shock.

“His survival would have been sheer luck,” Pete said lowly, clearly still disgruntled with him.

“Yes, I think it was,” Rick agreed. “Imagine how the likelihood of his survival would increase if someone like you had trained us in the basics.”

Looking at Pete, Carrie was waiting for him to argue, almost daring to. She had heard about what happened to Herschel, had heard the gratitude in Maggie’s voice when she’d told Carrie how Rick had saved her father. She herself had been witness to hasty amputations during the outbreak, desperate attempts to save a person’s life despite the risk of the procedure. Her groups had never been in a position where they were able to save the amputee, but they had always tried.

“So, everyone’s going to have some medical training from Pete, and that includes Denise,” Rick continued boldly, unintimidated as he looked Pete in the eye. “I saw with my own eyes that she’s a perfectly competent doctor. Alexandria should benefit from you teaching her everything you know. I hope that’s not going to be too much trouble for you, Pete?”

Playing it cool, Pete just shrugged and gave a charismatic smile. Yesterday Carrie might have fallen for that, having thought he was rather nice…today she knew better. She glanced over at Denise now, not surprised that she looked particularly miserable about this. Dwelling on it further, Carrie knew Denise was going to need some kind of third party around, a buffer to keep Pete from bullying her.

“The next thing will be our safe houses,” Rick continued. “Given that we know these Wolves are in our area, it’s important that everyone knows how to get to a safe house if they need to escape. We will do some runs over the next few days, we’ll make sure that they’re still safe and haven’t been discovered. Once we know it’s safe, we’re going to take small groups of you on runs out to them. It’ll cost us a lot of gas, but it will be worth it,” Rick said, talking over the whispers that started growing again. “Again, this is not negotiable.”

“I’m not going outside the walls,” Rosemary said, sounding upset already. “I’m not good out there…I can’t.”

“You will be safe,” Rick assured her. “You’ll be with my group at all times. The important thing is that you know how to get to the safe houses, that you know the routes. We’ll start our runs in vehicles to show you the roads, and then we’ll make runs on foot.”

Carrie sighed, this last remark sparking panicked outrage. Rick appeared to have expected this, and he patiently allowed everyone to worry, giving them the time they needed to process what he had told them.

“Can’t you just make us a map?” Olivia asked, looking around as everyone voiced their support for this.

“No,” Rick shook his head. “Absolutely not. I can’t make you a map, and you can’t make one either. There can be no maps that give any indication of where our safe houses are, or where Alexandria is. If a map like that fell into the wrong hands, we might as well roll out a welcome mat for people to come and attack us. That’s why you have to know where the safe houses are.”

“If there was an emergency,” Erin began, trying to reason with him. “Then the people who set up the safe houses could take us there. There’s no need for everyone to go outside the walls.”

“What if we’re not there?” Rick asked, challenging her remarks. “What if it’s just you, Erin? What if you have people depending on you? Are you going to tell them that you don’t know the way to safety, because you were too scared to let someone show you?”

There was silence, no one able to argue with this point, though Carrie suspected some of them would like to.

“Drives and hikes out to the safe houses won’t come for a while,” Rick continued, assuring them. “We’ve got to get everyone up to speed with weapons first. My group are good, but there’s only so much dead weight we can take on when we leave the walls.” Pausing, Rick took a deep breath. “That brings me to my next point, the Walkers. Roamers, Biters…whatever you call them.”

“What about them?” someone from the back of the group asked.

“We’re doing a good job at managing them. The pits and spikes are working well, and the watch tower takes down everything else the traps don’t get. But I don’t want anyone getting complacent about Walkers. Yes, we’re managing their numbers, but there’s never any way to tell what’s coming for us next. We don’t know how many there are in the areas around us, we don’t know if there are any herds, or if any are building up in valleys.”

“Valleys?”

“Sometimes they’ll congregate in areas where the terrain leads them on a downward slope. If they’re not following something, they take the path of least resistance. That’s fine for us, Alexandria is fairly high up in regards to the terrain, but if something gets the attention of just one Walker in this type of herd, they’ll start moving. We’re trying to explore the areas around here as much as is safe, but we will never know a herd is coming for us, until it’s coming.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Shelly said rudely. “We’ve never had anything like that. I would know, alright? I’ve been here since the very start.”

“Yes, and I can tell you have,” Rick countered, unbothered by her rudeness.

“Well we’ve never had problems with aherd,” she said, as though the very concept itself was mythical.

Rick nodded. “Good, I hope it stays that way. But the fact is, at one stage or another, every single one of you is going to come face to face with a Walker. It’s not a matter of if you do, but when you do.”

“That’s not going to happen,” someone argued. “The walls keep them out.”

“The walls can be brought down,” he continued. “No offence, Reg.”

“No, they can’t,” someone else insisted. “They’re buried in three feet of concrete, Roamers are not going to bring them down.”

“Where are you going with this?” Bruce asked, speaking up again. “If your traps are so effective, why are you worried about Walkers?”

Rick hesitated, and suddenly Carrie knew what he was about to say. She braced herself, knowing that it would not be well received.

“Just because you’re safe now, doesn’t mean you always will be. Anything could happen,” he insisted. “A tree could fall and bring down a section of the wall, a major storm could muster up a herd. Anything could happen, and we won’t have any warning for it. What I’m getting at…is that you’re going to learn how to take them on, hand to hand.”

The Alexandrians’ outrage was swift immediate, everyone loudly refuting this and shaking their heads. Before any of them could contain it an argument broke out, and everyone kept looking to Deanna and Reg, expecting their support. Carrie had to admit that this was the very first time she’d ever seen Deanna struggle to keep her poker face. Her unconditional support for Rick was definitely beginning to waver, and Reg’s too. Watching them, Carrie hoped that Deanna could stay strong, they she would remember the difference between appeasing and placating her people, and being the leader they needed.

“Do not leave,” Rick said loudly, seeing someone at the back trying to slip out. “I have not told you that you can leave.”

Not to Carrie’s surprise, it was Shelly who was trying to leave, always being a pain in the ass about something. While Rick told everyone that they were not finished there, Carrie had to admire his patience. He was coming across well, he was answering questions, taking the time to explain things. Despite the resistance shown, the meeting was going well so far. If he kept this up, he might just get through to them.

“The meeting is not over,” Deanna said in support of Rick. “Stay, please. There is still much to discuss.”

The protesting continued, but Deanna did not back down, and she called for silence again.

“You’re talking like we’re going to have Roamers in here at any minute,” Shelly shouted angrily, everyone else’s arguments dying down.

“We could,” Rick insisted, unperturbed by their anger. “I know you’ve had them in here before. I know they’ve come in through the old sewer system, and I know the gate’s been left open by accident. Oh yeah,” he nodded, looking around at them all. “I bet most of you didn’t know that happened a few months ago. You also probably didn’t know two Walkers got inside that day.”

This remark once again aroused uncomfortable murmurs from the community, but Rick continued nonetheless, not letting it escalate.

“What I’m saying, is that it’s going to happen. One way or another.”

“No, it’s not,” Bruce insisted vehemently.

“It’s not?” Rick questioned.

“No! Biter’s are not getting in here!”

“You’re just putting us in danger!” Shelly said loudly, Barbara echoing her support. “Forcing us to try and kill them would only put us at risk.”

To Carrie’s surprise, Rick looked over in her direction, but it was Abraham he made eye contact with. He gave a subtle nod, one that would have been imperceptible to anyone not watching him closely. Reaching down between them, Abraham nudged Rosita and then stood up, clapping Carrie on the shoulder as the two of them began to leave.

“Well, it was nice while it lasted,” he muttered quietly, moving past her.

“What are you doing?” she enquired, wondering if this had anything to do with their earlier discussion with Rick. “What’s going on?”

“Just sit tight,” Abraham told her, turning back at the last moment and holding out his can of beer. “Oh, here…you’d better finish this.”

Hiding her frustration, Carrie set the beer aside and watched as he and Rosita left, and amidst all the arguing none of the Alexandrian’s seemed to notice their departure. She on the other hand was paying careful attention, noting the way Abraham paused to speak to Rick, the way Carol and Glenn seemed to be bracing themselves, standing at attention. Wanting answers, Carrie looked up at Michonne, annoyed when she simply gave her the same type of nod Rick had given. Before she could actually ask, Michonne was nudging Carl, raising her eyebrows when she caught him reaching for Abraham’s beer through the terrace railing.

“Chill out. I’m just putting it on the table.”

Turning her attention back to the meeting, Carrie sighed in frustration, wondering how long Rick was going to let them argue. Up until now he’d managed to keep the meeting controlled overall, and although he probably thought it was good to let them voice their fears, Carrie knew otherwise. He needed to nip this panic in the bud before it turned into hysteria. Standing patiently with his arms folded, it appeared he was listening to the arguments and frustration, taking it all in. A few moments later she realised he had been looking at her, and so she swiftly drew her finger across her throat, telling him to wrap it up.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he said, unfolding his arms and raising one hand a little. “Everyone calm down and listen,” he asked, Deanna echoing his request.

“Why should we?” Barbara asked loudly. “You’re not even listening to us!”

“Actually, I am. I’m listening to every word you say, and I understand where you’re coming from. Yes, I do,” he insisted when people seemed incredulous. “So hear me out. I know I’m making you face a lot of changes, but I’m not Deanna. My job is not to make you happy and content, my job is to make you safe. Have we got that much clear? My job is not to make you happy.”

“Yeah, you got that right,” someone shouted.

“Problem is, we’re too big, and in too much danger for my group to protect you all. If something goes wrong, we’re not going to be able to protect everyone. You’ve got to be able to protect yourself and your families from any threat, whether that comes from people attacking you, or Walkers.”

“Look, I can understand the gun training, fine!” Carter said. “But the Walkers? No, there’s no point. You’d just be endangering people for no reason.”

As the murmurs of support and agreement began again, Rick held up his hand for silence. “How do you think I’d teach you? Do you think I’d just take you out there and let you face them alone?” he asked, looking out at everyone. He was met with silence, no one knowing how to answer. “No. That’s now how you teach someone to kill Walkers. I’m not going to teach you how to swim by pushing you into a pool and hoping you figure out how to float. I’d be right beside you from the get go, helping you, protecting you…showing you how to handle yourself safely.”

Michonne spoke up now. “You’re more afraid of the thought of it than you are of the reality.”

Rick nodded in agreement. “Michonne’s right, and I understand that you’re scared. I used to be scared too…we all did. Glenn? When you and I first met, how many of us would go running off with every weapon we could carry, just to take care of one Walker?”

Glenn smiled in amusement. “Four or five.”

“And how panicked would we be?”

“We were usually shitting ourselves.”

“Yeah, we were scared,” Rick admitted, looking at everyone before turning back to her. “Right now you’re all panicked over being taught how to kill Walkers in a controlled situation…your panic is your worst enemy. Your panic makes you just as dangerous to yourselves as Walkers are. That’s what we want to change. We want you to be confident. Confident to handle yourself with a gun and a knife, against any threat. I know what I’m asking is scary, but I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“Rick,” Heath began, awkwardly raising his hand and making himself known. “I understand where you’re coming from…but I think you’re going too far. There’s enough of us who know what we’re doing,” he continued, gesturing to himself, and then to Scott and a few others. “You’re right though, we’ve gotta be on high alert. We were planning on another run up north, but we’ll put that off for a few weeks, alright? We’ll stay a while, make sure things settle down.”

“I appreciate the offer, I do, but having three of you stay for a couple of weeks more is not enough. Everyone has to be able to protect themselves, that’s all there is to it.”

“What you’re asking is completely unnecessary,” Carter insisted.

“Completely unnecessary?” Rick asked before glancing over his shoulder, peering out to the road behind them.

“Yes!”

“Carter’s right,” Shelly said supportively. “There’s no need for any of us to do things like that.”

Barbara spoke up next. “Deanna, surely you can’t support this?” she asked, putting her on the spot.

Torn between her promise to Rick and her own reservations, Deanna did not reply. She looked at Reg, calling on him for support, for guidance.

“Deanna!” someone else shouted. “Come on, do something!”

Before she could even open her mouth, Rick intervened. “We can talk about this into the night, but the fact is, this is going to happen. No amount of protest and refusal is going to get you out of this, because it’s for your own good. I’ve been back from the Georgia supply run six weeks now, and I’ve been trying to give you time to do this slowly. I’ve been patient, I’ve been understanding, but we’re out of time now. This has to happen.”

Hearing the sound of the dog barking madly, Carrie glanced up towards Betsy’s house, knowing Barney belonged to her. She’d seen Betsy lock him inside the house earlier, and so she wondered what had gotten his attention. Carl seemed to have noticed too, and from the terrace he stood on his toes and looked out across Alexandria, giving a long sigh before leaning back against the railing.

“Well, shit,” he muttered glumly.

“What?” she asked.

Carl didn’t answer, and Michonne was avoiding Carrie’s eyes. Getting the feeling that this was what Rick had been keeping from her, she turned back to him, seeing he was looking over his shoulder again. He shifted his weight on his feet before calling for quiet again, settling down the murmured protests that had started when he stopped talking.

“Bruce? You said a Walker is never getting inside the walls?”

Bruce frowned, surprised he was being called on so directly. “Yes.”

“Do you stand by that?”

“Yes,” he said with a little more passion.

“Who else?” Rick asked loudly, gesturing out to everyone. “Who else stands by that? No Walkers are ever getting in here. No way at all.”

There was a resounding chorus of agreement, everyone looking to each other and nodding. Rick seemed to take their opposition in his stride, and his patience never faltered. Still calm and level headed, he simply nodded and then waved his hand, gesturing that people should come with him.

“I want to show you something…a demonstration of some kind.”

“What is it?” Rosemary asked warily.

Carrie scoffed to herself, suspecting what Rosemary was thinking. Whatever it was Rick had planned, he sure as hell wasn’t going to throw at Walker at them. But it seemed Rosemary wasn’t the only nervous one, a few more voicing concerns before they reluctantly began following Rick out of the courtyard and up towards the front of the infirmary. Seated on the stairs, she patiently waited for the mass of people to clear out before standing up. If Manhattan had taught her one thing, it was not to get caught up in a surging crowd. Just as she stood to go down, Michonne stopped her as she went past.

“Carol wants to talk to you,” she said, gesturing to her on the other side of the courtyard where she was waiting.

“Why?” she asked increasingly impatient.

Michonne didn’t answer, leaving Carrie annoyed and frustrated. Trying to be cooperative, she joined Carol downstairs, looking at her expectantly. Was now really the time for them to talk? They fell into step beside one another, and she waited impatiently for Carol to begin. As they followed the stragglers out of the courtyard and up the road past the infirmary, Carol began to speak.

“Rick has kept you in the dark on purpose,” she muttered quietly. Though her tone was low, she still maintained a pleasant outward appearance.

Gritting her teeth, Carrie asked, “Why?”

“Because there’s going to be a major falling out from what happens next. You and I have to be above reproach. Do you understand?”

“For fuck’s sake,” she muttered under her breath, her choice of language uncharacteristic. “What the hell is his problem? Doesn’t he trust me?”

“Once you get over the initial shock, y-”

“Shock?” she questioned abruptly, starting to get worried. “Shock from what?”

“…your instinct will be to support him,” Carol continued whispering. “But there’s a long term play here. It’s more important for you and I to maintain the relationships we have with these people. This will work better if you’re genuinely upset.”

“Could you tell me what the fuck is going on, please?”

Carol shook her head, the two of them joining the rest of the community in front of Aaron and Eric’s house. “He’s doing what he has to. What he should have done a long time ago.”

“What does that mean?” she hissed.

Carol didn’t answer this time, her refusal to explain compounding Carrie’s frustration. They were congregating in front of the houses that overlooked the lake, spreading out as Michonne ushered them into a semi circle formation. Rick stood in front of them with his back to the lake, fielding concerned enquiries from Deanna as to what he was doing now. He glanced to his left and right, and following his gaze Carrie noted that Noah stood in the middle of the street down one way, and that Glenn stood in the middle of the street the other way, the two of them acting like a barrier to keep everyone in one place.

With no choice other than to wait patiently, she looked at Rick while she folded her arms. When he returned her gaze she tried to figure out what he was thinking, surprised that he was looking at her with a little apprehension. While before she had felt badly for the way she avoided him, right now she didn’t hide her frustration with him…why would he leave her out of whatever he was doing now? What had he planned that was so bad he was worried about the fall out? Before she could ponder if any further, panicked screams broke out on her left, and in a great rush people started moving back in her direction. Feeling a surge of adrenaline her hand drifted to the handle of her Ruger, having been carrying it that afternoon at Rick’s request.

She didn’t even have time to ask what was going on. As people began backing away, their panicked screams growing in volume, she turned back in the direction of the townhouses, and her heart sank when she saw exactly what it was Rick intended to demonstrate. While the crowd parted and Deanna began shouting furiously at Rick, Carrie gasped in horror at what he had to show the people.

It was a Walker.

Notes

Comments

@WalkerWalkerChick
No worries, I was just so happy to find it on the other site I read it there. There aren't too many Rick Grimes stories, and yours are among the best I have found. Really looking forward to your new story and the continuing journey of Rick and Carrie.

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
5/21/17

@Grimesgirl63
Thanks Grimesgirl63, that means a lot!

Sorry it took forever to update on this site! (to get the formatting right, the copy paste has to be done from a Word doc which I don't have on my laptop - this is why I fell so far behind posting on here).

In progress of posting first chapter of The New World as we speak - hopefully up in an hour or so. Happy reading :-)

This was a great ending to the story. Loved how you weaved in the elements of the series but made it your own. Looking forward to your new story!

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
5/21/17

Hi there - just wondering if you plan to update the story on this site. I noticed this story on another FF site and it was much further along. Either way,I started reading it over there. Thanks, it is getting really good.

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
5/10/17

Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy this story. Thought the first one was good as well. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
6/7/16