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Breaking Free

Chapter 57

"Transmission from the stars
A message from the atmosphere
Etched into my heart
Your purpose there is still unclear
The ghost of you lives on
Through everything I see and touch
And even when you're gone
Even if it's hard
Even when I'm far
I will always be there."

Falling in Reverse
"Coming Home"




Darkness loomed on the horizon, the sign of another day coming to an end with swirls of navy blue against the fiery backdrop of vibrant orange and magenta hues that only the fading sunlight could provide. Dinner was in full swing by the time Daryl sauntered in with Wolf in tow, both reeking to high heaven and with rumbling tummies. He had yet to partake in the outdoor showers and clean clothing that the rest of the group had eagerly delved into earlier that morning after arriving at the lodge. Looking into the dining area from the restaurant entrance, seeing the freshly scrubbed faces and dirt free clothing of the lodge dwellers inside, Daryl glanced down at his own filthy clothes and halfway considered backtracking out of the restaurant to rectify the issue, but brushed the concern aside and headed towards the buffet of food set up towards the right wall instead. He did not care what the others thought of him and fuck them if they had an issue with his grimy clothes and stench that followed behind him like a ghost...or rather, he did not want to care what they thought and did his best to make it seem that way.

Grabbing a plate from the stack on the table, Daryl barely glanced at the people busy at work in the kitchen and started loading it down with food. While he had eaten a meager breakfast before making the final leg of the trek that led them to the lodge and had taken a solid fifteen minutes to shove a hastily prepared sandwich into his mouth after they had arrived, he had spent the majority of the rest of the day outside avoiding everyone, either in the woods down by the lake or at the graveyard tucked away on the edge of the main section of lodge property and was now thoroughly starved.

A sliver of guilt wormed its way inside of him when he bypassed his family in favor of reclaiming the table tucked away at the rear of the restaurant that afforded him the isolation his soul craved. Daryl honestly hated the black cloud that had followed him around relentlessly since Lily's death, the one that seemingly multiplied after realizing he had allowed Mia to get shot and nearly die, but he had no clue how to deal with the darkness and make it go away. Therefore, he pushed the guilt aside and sank down into his old chair with barely a glance towards the tables his family occupied. Wolf, the ever obedient companion, made himself comfortable by Daryl's feet and waited patiently for his scraps of meat to be dropped to the floor.

Of course, his half-assed attempt at isolation was fleeting, when Mary barged in on his alone time with her sister in tow. He should have expected the intrusion, as she had done the same thing back when he had brought her to the lodge and each time he had returned after that, but adjusting to someone actually wanting to spend time with him was a hard lesson to learn for Daryl. Unlike Mary, none of the other rescues he had brought home associated with him much outside of warm welcomes and the occasional expression of gratitude, and Daryl was thankful for that. He assumed their distance was because he had spent less time with them and was less personable, since they'd had one another during the trek, whereas Mary had had only him during the week they were on the road together. Without meaning to do so, they had formed at least a tenuous bond while traveling together and Mary apparently refused to let him out of that silent agreement. Now, judging by the pigtailed shadow that followed behind her, Mary's little sister, Lucy, had joined into the mix.

“You make it really difficult for someone to say thanks to, you know?” Mary asked with a teasing tone to her voice as she picked up her fork and started eating. After swallowing a bite of roasted duck, she carried on with the conversation, knowing full well that Daryl had no intention of answering her question, rhetorical or not. “Not that I even know if I can say that enough. I honestly didn't think you'd be able to do it, to bring Lucy home to me. Well, I did at first, but after this long? I'd kind of given up hope. I hate that I did, but it had been what, like a year since you'd been here last time? Carl told me not to give up hope, that if anyone could pull off a crazy ass miracle, it'd be you, but-” Pausing mid-sentence, as though she finally realized she was rambling and knew Daryl hated it when she did that, Mary blushed and said, “Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on like that. Anyway, all I'm trying to say is thank you. I'll never be able to repay you for bringing my sister home to me.”

Uncomfortable with Mary's praise, Daryl ducked his head and focused on the food in front of him, offering up only a pitiful shrug of his shoulder as though to say there was nothing worthy of gratitude about his actions. Typically, this would have been the point in the conversation where Mary would either ramble on about trivial nonsense without expecting Daryl to join in or fall into a shared silence with him, but with the addition to her sister at the table, neither happened. Instead, Lucy pounced on his refusal to accept Mary's gratitude.

“You shouldn't just brush it off. What you did? There's not a lot of people now that would do that,” Lucy said, pausing mid-bite to add in her two cents on the matter. Freshly scrubbed, her chestnut locks were pulled back into matching braids that trailed down her back and made her look younger than the thirteen-ish years she really was. Freckles stood out against the sun-kissed skin their trek had donned her with and the gap in her front teeth caused certain words in her vocabulary to whistle adorably, something that probably would have earned her a great deal of harassment in a normal setting with school-aged bullies, but went mostly unnoticed these days.

“He knows, Luce, he just doesn't want it to be pointed out. Or, that's what Carl says anyway. That Daryl just doesn't like the flattery, he's uncomfortable with the attention,” Mary said with a smile that was caused by equal amounts of happiness over having her sister with her and the mention of Carl, which Daryl finally picked up on.

“Second time you said his name since you sat down,” Daryl pointed out with a curious squint to his eyes, finally taking a second out of his own pity party to pay attention to the details around him. Glancing over his shoulder towards the table where the younger Grimes children were sitting with their father and Michonne, he managed to catch Carl staring over at their table, before he blushed and ducked his head, effectively hiding behind a curtain of brown hair.

“Yeah, because they're in love,” Lucy said, ratting out her sister with a sing-songy lilt to her words. Grinning widely, she added, “And they're gonna get married!”

“Married? They ain't old enough to get hitched,” Daryl replied with a frown, knowing damned well that even if the two were actually going to go through with the nuptials that it was not any of his business. But, there he was, falling down the hole and getting involved.

“We are, too! I'm eighteen, or close enough anyway,” Mary replied indignantly, her cheeks reddening immediately from a mix of annoyance and embarrassment. Lowering her voice, she added, “And, hush! We haven't told his dad yet. Or, well, anyone really.”

“Why not? He's so cute, you should totally tell everyone so you can hurry up and get married and have babies,” Lucy said with a dreamy smile on her face as she eyeballed Carl from across the room. Clearly the young teen was already quite taken with her big sisters boyfriend. “Seriously, he's so cute.”

“Babies? Uh, no way, I'm not ready for babies. That we are definitely too young for,” Mary added with a slightly panicked tone to her voice, although she was already taking the risk of doing just that. Changing the topic, clearly uncomfortable with having the focus of the conversation placed on her and Carl, she said, “Have you seen Mia around? I want to thank her, too, for taking such good care of Lucy.”

“Ain't seen her since this morning,” Daryl replied as he shoveled the last bit of vegetables into his mouth. Dropping his fork to the plate, he grabbed a chunk of meat and tossed it to the floor for Wolf, who eagerly devoured the treat. Glancing around the room and not finding her sitting with the others from their group, he furrowed his brow and said, “She ain't here?”

“I haven't seen her since this morning either,” Lucy said with a frown. “I thought she'd be here for lunch, but Mae said she wasn't feeling well and was laying down. I think they took her something to eat, but I kind of expected her to be here for dinner at least.”

Although he was concerned, given Mia's injuries that were still recent enough that her absence gave him pause, Daryl refused to allow his expression to give away his feelings. Instead of delving into reasons for Mia's absence, Daryl shrugged and said, “Mia's grown. She'll show up when she wants.”

“Cranky much?” Mary asked with a sarcastic ribbon twined around her words, even though she was fairly accustomed to his level of foul moods whenever he was home. When he did not reply, not even to offer up an equally sarcastic remark, Mary tilted her head and eyeballed him and furrowed her dark eyebrows with worry. “What's wrong? You made it home and you helped so many people, why the dark mood?”

“Don't got to have a reason and wouldn't be none of your business if there was,” Daryl growled as he pushed up from the table and gathered his dishes. Thankfully, after two years of dealing with his gloomy temper, Mary no longer teared up when he snapped at her and for that he was grateful. Although, he still felt like a shit when he did so, knowing that the kid was only trying to be a friend to him and all he could offer her in return was a handful of shared meals that often times had tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“And he's off,” Mary muttered with a roll of her eyes. Sighing, she glared up at him before he darted away and said, “I'm glad you're home, just so you know. Just because you don't want to be here doesn't mean there aren't people that want you to be.”

And, like many times before, Daryl ignored her and left without saying a word.

After shoving his dirty dishes into the bin by the buffet table, Daryl headed towards the exit with the intentions of finally locating clean clothes and taking a much needed shower, but found himself making a beeline towards the table where Mae and Blake were finishing up dinner with the children. Upon arriving at the table, Daryl self-consciously shuffled his feet when he was met with an icy glare for Blake, one that he earned rightfully after giving Mia the cold shoulder the past couple of weeks.

“What a gorgeous dog,” Mae said warmly, breaking the icy layer of tension between Daryl and Blake momentarily. Gesturing towards the wolfhound, she asked, “May I?”

“Yeah, sure. If he wants,” Daryl replied with a glance towards the dog who was eager to accept petting from just about anyone that was willing to dole it out to him. For a large dog who appeared quite menacing, Wolf was as close to a loving lap dog as he could get. While Mae scratched Wolf behind his ears, leaving a trail of drool hanging down from his wide open mouth, Daryl tried to maintain a casual demeanor as he asked, “Where's Mia at?”

“What do you care?” Blake asked, butting in and cutting off Mae's response. Growing a backbone seemingly out of thin air, he dropped his fork to his plate and added, “It's not like you've given a damn about her in weeks.”

“Blake-” Mae started, sending Blake a warning with that tone that only mothers could possess, despite the fact that she no doubt felt the same way. It had been quite evident that Daryl's cold shoulder towards Mia had caused hurt feelings with Mae as well, clearly leaving the older woman feeling torn between the two of them; the woman who she had known since she was a child and the man who had helped save them from an unknown future. But, Mae was old school and kept her feelings to herself for the most part, hence the chastising tone towards Blake's behavior.

“Mary and Lucy's looking for her,” Daryl said without giving Mae a chance to continue her sentence. “Figure'd I'd ask for them.”

“Right,” Blake replied with a disbelieving tone, which was justified since Daryl was lying and apparently they both knew it. “Well, not that you deserve to know, but she went to bed.”

“She wasn't feeling well, dear,” Mae added, turning her attention away from Wolf and back to her meal, despite Wolf's whimper of protest. “Between the injuries, the travel and everything else, she had a headache and went to bed early. I could tell her that you were looking for her when I go up to check on her before bed, if you'd like?”

“Tell her the girls was looking for her,” Daryl answered, catching on to Mae's not so veiled attempt at bridging the gap between him and Mia. Lying through his teeth, he added, “Wasn't me that wanted her. Mary wants to thank her for taking care of Lucy is all.”

“Yeah, because she's of no use to you know, right? Already got what you wanted,” Blake said, murmuring just loud enough for Daryl to hear him, but not loud enough so that the rest of the room understood. Cocking one ginger colored eyebrow up towards Daryl, Blake dismissed him, “Go back to where ever you've been hiding all day, why don't you? Mia's better off without you anyway.”

Most people would have been pissed if Blake talked to them the way he was with Daryl at that moment, but Daryl Dixon was not like most other people. Nope, oddly enough, Daryl was actually a little impressed and wished the kid had of found his balls when it had come to dealing with Gage. Sadly, the bearded asshole who had disrespected Blake on a daily basis was not around to get what was due to him from the suddenly saucy ginger.

“Yeah, you're right,” Daryl muttered in response to Blake's statement, knowing full well that Mia was better off without him in her life. She could do better than him and deserved better than what he could offer her, which amounted to nothing but a life of disappointment and failure. But, he did not voice those thoughts to Blake, who was staring up at him with contempt sketched all over his freckled face. Bidding them and the table full of curious, wide eyed kid’s goodnight, Daryl turned on his heel and fled the restaurant with Wolf in tow, all the while telling himself not to find out what room Mia was in and go check on her.

In order to give Mia the life she deserved and keep her safe, Daryl knew he had to keep his feelings in check and stay away from her...no matter how difficult it was going to be.

Notes

Holy snickerdoodle, it's an update after all! Clearly it's a Christmas Miracle! Haha. I managed to carve out some time to write while the cakes and casseroles were baking. Hope everyone enjoys it and has a safe and happy holiday tomorrow, if you celebrate it.

Comments

@Serenity
I look forward to it....always was one of my favourite stories on Fan fiction.

Lewis Lewis
6/5/18

@lewis7


Glad to see you under any name! Thanks so much for all the comments! I am hoping that my muse shows back up, so I can write some more. I have had some ideas about writing short, one shot stories with Sam and Daryl from Need You Now. There were several scenes I had sketched out that didn't make it into the actual story, so I would like to write them out and post them if muse cooperates.

Serenity Serenity
4/25/18

Back to signing in as Lewis 7 as mel2a has stopped working!!
Love this story and really going to miss it and your brilliant Daryl story telling.
Will keep an eye out for you for future stories.
Thank you for your stories and writing talent.
xx

lewis7 lewis7
4/22/18

@Arubaredx


I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for commenting and good luck with the move!

Serenity Serenity
4/19/18

In the middle of packing to move so everything is crazy, but managed to finally catch up on your final chapter:) A very joyful ending, and very deserved for them too. Very much enjoyed this journey.

Arubaredx Arubaredx
4/18/18