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Breaking Free

Chapter 67

“I can almost feel you breathing
Like a whisper in my ear
I remember how you lost me
Or how I lost you.
I stare into the blackness
It’s staring back at me
Why did I try to live without you?
I want you, I need you.”

Red “Yours Again”

By the time Daryl finally let go of Mia, the bedroom was plunged in darkness and the lower half of his body was numb from staying in the awkward position for so long. He could hear the sound of Mia's sniffles, but also the sound of her feet shuffling across the carpet as she walked away from him. Panic rose in his chest for a brief moment, assuming that she was leaving him the way he had done to her three months earlier, but the scratching sound of a match head against the rough strike pad and the flicker of a flame that followed let him know that she was just lighting one of the oil lamps or candles scattered around the room. Sure enough, the golden glow produced by the largest of the lamps by her bed bathed the room in enough light that Daryl was able to push himself to his feet and take a two steps to stand in front of Mia once more.

At a loss for words, Daryl mentally fumbled for something to say to Mia besides spewing out another round of apologies. His hands itched to touch her again, the sudden feel of her in his arms after so many months made him realize just how much he had missed her, and Daryl started to reach out and pull her towards him once more, but the sight of tears streaming down her face halted his intentions. “Mia? You, uh, you want me to go or something?” Daryl asked timidly, hating the thought of being asked to leave her again, but he knew that he had no right to barge in to her life once again without giving her a chance to adjust to him returning back to the lodge. Shuffling from one foot to the other with nervous energy, he added, “I mean, we ain't go to figure nothing out tonight. We got time and all. I, uh, just wanted to tell you I was sorry...for everything.”

Silent, Mia swiped the tips of her fingers beneath her eyes to wipe away the tears that stubbornly clung to her skin and sniffled once more, before responding to his comments, “Do we really? Have time, I mean?” She turned to face him fully and placed the palms of her hands against the swell of her stomach and asked, “Are you staying this time? Do we really have time or are you going to disappear again?”

“I ain't going nowhere,” Daryl replied after a pause as the plans he had discussed with Rick popped into his head and were brushed aside just as quick as they appeared. No way was he going to head back out into the world to rescue a group of women who may or may not be alive, who may or may not have played a part in the plan to round up a group of young girls and sell them into slavery. No way in hell was he walking out of the gates at the entrance of their community any time soon. For once, he finally understood why Rick was so cautious about leaving the lodge once they had found a safe place to live. Rick had someone to live for, he had his children and Michonne. And now, Daryl understood what it felt like to have someone to truly live for and not just with.

Mia squinted at him and cocked her head, as though she could see straight through his words to the plans he had made prior to realizing that he was going to be a father. “Are you sure about that? Seemed to take you a second to come up with an answer.” Sighing, she rubbed the palms of her hands in small circles over the top of her stomach, in essence caressing the child they had made together, and said, “I don't need you to stay, you know? Don't get me wrong, Daryl. I want you here. I want you with me, God only knows why, but I don't need you.”

“I said I ain't-” Daryl interjected, trying to make her believe his intent to stay this time, but Mia waved off his words and continued without skipping a beat.

“I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you, before you left. Do you remember that day?” Mia sank down onto the edge of her bed with a sad look on her face and stared up at him; the glow of her pregnancy even more evident thanks to the amber light radiating from the oil lamp beside the bed. Daryl nodded, remembering the day he had walked out on her in vivid detail, and she continued, “But, I didn't want you to stay just because you got me pregnant. I wanted you to stay because you wanted to be with me. Looking back, yeah, it was a selfish move. I should have put my baby-our baby-ahead of my needs, but it really hadn't sank in yet at that point; that I was going to have a baby. And, so, I let you leave without saying a word and I regret that.” Mia paused and took a deep breath, no doubt willing the tears that glistened in her hazel eyes to stay put and not careen down her cheeks, before saying, “Because our baby needs you, Daryl. I don't, but he or she will, and I should have told you back then so that you would stay. So, what I'm asking is, are you really going to stay this time? Not for a couple of days or months, or even a year, but really and truly stay and be a part of our lives?”

“I wasn't going to,” Daryl admitted truthfully as he sank down into the chair by her bed, the hotel regulation brown leather arm chair that littered the entire lodge. Facing her at eye level, he forced himself to dig down to the nitty gritty truth and be honest with Mia, she deserved it after all. “I told Rick I was heading back to see about getting the rest of the women out, the ones we left behind. But, I ain't gonna go now, I'm staying this time. Only reason I was gonna go was 'cause of you,” Daryl paused and then cursed himself for choosing that moment to take a moment to collect his thoughts, not to mention his poorly constructed choice of words. Backtracking at the sight of fire lighting in Mia's eyes, he said, “No, it ain't like that. I wasn't because of you. I was running from you.” Cursing loudly, he shook his head and said, “Shit, I ain't good at this.”

“Clearly,” Mia spit out with a less than amused look on her face. “Just spit it out, Daryl. Whatever it is you're trying to oh so eloquently tell me. The quicker the better, right? Like a Band-Aid. Hell, whatever it is can't be any worse than saying you ran away from here to get away from me.”

“I left because I love you, all right?” Daryl all but growled in response, emphatically gesturing his frustration with his hands. Sighing, he muttered a curse and glanced down at his feet before speaking again. “And I don't get how I could love her and love you, too, okay? It ain't something I'm used to and all, loving someone. I didn't know what to do with it.”

“Daryl, you can love more than one person,” Mia replied, her words spoken gently and as soft as a whisper against warmth of his skin. She scooted forward, as best as she could in her pregnant state, until their knees were touching and reached out to take hold of his hands in hers. Lifting their joined hands to her mouth, she pressed her lips against the weathered skin and said, “I loved Brian for a long time and a part of my heart will always belong to my husband, but Daryl, I love you, too. Somewhere along the way, I fell for you and while I can't tell you exactly when or why, I do know that I love you.”

“I'm sorry,” Daryl said once more, knowing that no amount of apologies would ever make up for the way he had treated her during the weeks before he had left with the group, nor for the months that he was gone while she started her pregnancy journey alone. And yes, he understood that she had Mae and Blake, and even the people at the lodge, but he should have been there for her, too.

“I know,” Mia replied earnestly, without a trace of residual anger lingering in her words. Daryl honestly had no idea how she could even think about forgiving him, but the gentleness in her caress and emotion in the tone of her words led him to believe that she had done just that. He started to ask her, but the sound of her stomach rumbling made him remember that she was currently missing dinner.

“Better get downstairs for dinner soon,” Daryl said as he stood up and pulled Mia to her feet behind him. “Figure you're late enough as it is, didn't mean to keep you this long anyhow.”

“It's okay, I'm glad you did,” Mia replied with a smile that proved her words. She slipped her hands from his and moved towards the dresser on the opposite side of the room. Opening one of the drawers, she pulled out some clothes and glanced back at him with a sheepish look on her face and said, “Um, I need to change. Do you mind stepping outside to wait for me?”

“You know I've seen you without your clothes, right?” Daryl replied, more than a little confused as to why Mia would want him to leave the room so she could change, when he had seen her in a lot less clothes than what she would be stripped down to before putting on the other clothes.

“Yeah, but not like this,” Mia said, her voice small and tinged with what he thought was embarrassment, but for the life of him, Daryl could not figure out why she would feel embarrassed at the thought of him seeing her naked; which Mia obviously picked up on, since she explained her reasoning with a frustrated sigh. “Pregnant, Daryl. You haven't seen me naked while I'm pregnant.”

“What's that got to do with anything? Naked's naked, ain't it?” Daryl asked, obviously adding to Mia's annoyance levels since she simply frowned at him and rolled her eyes at his question. Giving in, he held up his hands in surrender and gestured towards the doorway. “I'll wait out in the hall if that's what you want.”

“Thank you,” Mia replied graciously as he closed the door behind him, plunging himself into the darkness that was the hallway. Thankfully the snow outside reflected the half-moon floating high in the sky and made what little light it produced seem a bit brighter, which meant the windows at the end of the hallway let in slivers of silvery moonlight that provided enough light to at least illuminate the narrow space enough that walking was not that big of an ordeal.

A few minutes later, Mia emerged into the hallway wearing an over-sized heather gray sweater, black leggings and a pair of slouchy black boots that looked more like house shoes than something a person would wear outside. Her rats nest mess of a hairdo had been somewhat contained and pulled back into a knot at the base of her neck that was not exactly fancy, but managed to look it nonetheless. All in all, she cleaned up nicely for someone who just rolled out of bed and spent the next half hour crying. Taking her hand, Daryl led the way through the darkened hallway towards the staircase and nearly ran headlong into Mae, who was obviously in search of Mia, since she had yet to show up for dinner.

“There you are,” Mae said brightly once her eyes landed on Mia, who was still clutching Daryl's hand behind his back. “Dinner's nearly over, I was worried about you.”

“Sorry, kept her longer than I meant to,” Daryl replied, answering for Mia since her tardiness was technically his fault. “There still plenty down there for her to eat?”

“For both of you, actually. I assumed Mia had overslept from her nap, so I piled a couple plates up before dinner got picked over. There's plenty for the both of you.” Mae glanced between the two of them, before holding up the lantern clutched in her right hand so that she could study Daryl closer. “You look downright exhausted and filthy to boot. Did you not get cleaned up and rest when you got back?”

“No ma'am, tried to go hunting,” Daryl replied, giving her the short answer, instead of admitting the truth. No sense in telling Mae that he ran off into the snow covered woods after seeing Mia pregnant and with a man that he assumed had filled in his spot when he had left her behind. Shrugging, he added, “I ain't that hungry no how. Ate while I was out. You mind keeping her company while I clean up?”

“Of course,” Mae said with a warm smile, holding her free hand out towards Mia. Daryl handed her off to Mae, feeling as though he was letting go of the most precious cargo in the world, which Mae somehow picked up on, because she said, “Go on and get cleaned up. I'll make she eats all of her vegetables and makes it back to her room safely.”

“I'm pregnant, Mae, not a child,” Mia replied with a childlike roll of her eyes, but the chuckle that followed her words let everyone know that she was not as annoyed with the treatment as her words let on. Before following Mae down the stairs, she turned towards him and leaned in to brush a kiss across his dirty cheek. “I'll bring you back something to eat, okay?”

“I, uh, don't know what room I'm gonna be sleeping in,” Daryl stammered, hating the fact that the thought of sleeping in the room that he once shared with Lily still bothered him after all these years; especially when he was in love with another woman. “I'll grab something later. Don't worry about me, just take care of you...and the baby.”

“Stop being silly, Daryl.” Mia frowned and studied his face intently, despite the low light around them. He felt naked beneath her gaze, as though all the secrets he had hoped to keep tucked away out of sight were right in front of her, laid out open for her to inspect. After a brief moment of silence, Mia quirked one corner of her mouth and said, “Wolf already sleeps in my room. You might as well, too.”

Without giving him a chance to reply, she turned on her heel and followed Mae down the stairs; leaving him at the top with what could only be described as a dumbfounded expression on his face.

Notes

Good morning, ladies and gents (are there gents here?)! How's everyone doing? I am still exhausted, not adjusting to day shift at all. #ForeverAVampire But, I did get to have a good visit with family last week. Hope everyone enjoys the chapter. We are so close to the end I can smell it!

Comments

@Serenity
I look forward to it....always was one of my favourite stories on Fan fiction.

Lewis Lewis
6/5/18

@lewis7


Glad to see you under any name! Thanks so much for all the comments! I am hoping that my muse shows back up, so I can write some more. I have had some ideas about writing short, one shot stories with Sam and Daryl from Need You Now. There were several scenes I had sketched out that didn't make it into the actual story, so I would like to write them out and post them if muse cooperates.

Serenity Serenity
4/25/18

Back to signing in as Lewis 7 as mel2a has stopped working!!
Love this story and really going to miss it and your brilliant Daryl story telling.
Will keep an eye out for you for future stories.
Thank you for your stories and writing talent.
xx

lewis7 lewis7
4/22/18

@Arubaredx


I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for commenting and good luck with the move!

Serenity Serenity
4/19/18

In the middle of packing to move so everything is crazy, but managed to finally catch up on your final chapter:) A very joyful ending, and very deserved for them too. Very much enjoyed this journey.

Arubaredx Arubaredx
4/18/18