Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

A New Name, A New Life

Chp 4. Time to Talk

Three months had passed since she came to the kingdom. Given her experience, she was quickly put into rotation, switching between guard duty and supply runs.

Daryl stepped in as her mentor of sorts, leading and training her without much conversation. Q found she preferred to be in Daryl's silent company then with the incessant chatter of the norms at The Kingdom.

That's what Carol had called them, the 'norms'... The unburdened minds of people who had briefly, or in most cases never, survived outside of the wall.

She was relieved to be able to come and go as she pleased. Her mind would begin to race if she was inside the walls for too long. Sometimes she would just go into the woods to hunt walkers that were working their way to the kingdom.

She ran into Daryl on more than one occasion in those woods, hunting or scouting. Q never thought much of it though, they would share a silent nod of acknowledgement and go their separate ways.

When she wasn't taking a shift, she was near Carol. She felt a kinship to her. She appreciated that Carol didn't press for her past. She also appreciated that Carol would quickly shut down anyone who tried to.

Although she was intimidating, Q was still a new person in a world without a lot of action. She thought of how strange it was that the people living inside the kingdom were even able to think that way. She wasn't necessarily bitter about it, but she also knew that if she wasn't careful these people could make her weak. And that wasn't an option.

Q had moved in to the extra room in Carol's cabin outside of the Kingdom as part of her agreement with the king to keep an eye on Carol. Although Q was pretty sure it was because he didn't trust her inside the walls. Either way, she was grateful to feel the freedom of nature as she tried to become a part of something beyond herself.

Carol was the only one she had let in so far, even still, Carol only knew the basics. She was from Texas originally, Q was not her birth name, she had been through some shit and had lost a lot.

Carol caught sight of Q's perfect tally scars when she was changing out of her walker gore-covered shirt after a scouting trip one day. When she traded Q's filthy shirt for a new one, she finally addressed it.

"I think it's about time you told me about those." Q scoffed and made her way around Carol.

"I'm serious Q." She said grabbing her arm to stop her from walking away, "If you don't talk about it, you'll never be free of it."

"I don't deserve to be free of it." Q said, matter of factly.

"You do." Carol said sternly, motherly almost. Q looked away, Carol was the only one at this point who could make her feel like she owed the world an answer.

"Carol. Please. I'm asking you not to push this." She said calmly, and looked at Carol with that feral glimmer in her eye.

"Someone has to." She let go of Q's arm.

"You're a time bomb, baby girl." She gently put her hand on Q's shoulder.

Carol had started calling her 'baby girl' about a week into her being there. At first it made her cringe, but it had grown on her over time, it was enduring to Carol. God help anyone else if they tried to call her that, but people seemed to know better.

Q took a deep breath, "I know."

It was the most honest answer she could give at that moment and Carol knew how loaded it was.

"Ok then, that's a start."

***
Another month passed before Carol attempted to bring up her scars again. This time she at least tried to bribe Q with food and some cheap wine she'd found.

Q was sitting at the table, eating and trying to rest after a 12 hour guard duty shift. Carol sat across from her and slid the cookies and wine slowly across the table with a knowing and encouraging look.

She couldn't help but crack a smile at Carol's not so subtle approach. She toyed with a cookie while she considered the offer.

She took a deep breath, "Ok."

Carol took a moment to think of where to start.

"The lines on your side... They're a tally aren't they?"

"Yes." She answered, avoiding the stare she could feel from Carol.

"For what...?"

Q inhaled sharply. "Lives." She paused. "Lives I took."

It was quiet, only the cicadas breaking through the silence. Carol thought through what she said for a moment.

"So you did that? To yourself?"

Q nodded.

"Why?"

"I didn't want to forget. Forget what they did... forget why I killed them. If I still felt the pain from the cut, it meant I wasn't dead yet. I don't like killing people." She took a deep breath and looked into Carol's eyes, "but some people have to die."

"...Just didn't want to lose my soul in the process I guess." She finished.

Carol nodded, accepting the information she was being given. She pressed on. "And the other scars?"

Q took a large gulp from the bottle of wine. She stood up and lifted her shirt over her head. Carol could see the scars that covered her torso, including a very crudely stitched scar on her left side. Following Carol's stare she started explaining the road map of pain of her past from the beginning.

"That was when I got jumped and beaten at a refugee camp in Texas... It was early on." She said dismissively as she took another swig from the bottle. Carol sat there, with empathetic eyes, letting Q reveal whatever she was willing to in the moment.

"I stayed away from large groups after that... These came about a year or so after that. " She said, motioning to the scars that covered her back and the few on her arms.

"I was looking... I had made it to an area North of Houston... When I got there I found..." She took another drink. She shook her head as she starred blankly ahead, clearly reliving a memory. She coughed and snapped herself out of it.

"I stayed in a house until some people wandered in... They... I tried to fight... But I wasn't strong enough then." Another swig. "... Three men and a woman. They took over. Used me for whatever they wanted." She sat back down, finishing off the bottle.

"I spent most of the time tied up... They did what they wanted... And when I would fight back, they'd punish me." She gestured to her back, while leaning forward resting her face in her hands. She wiped her hands down her face, as if trying to clean the memory away.

"How did you escape?"

"After a while I stopped fighting... So they stopped tying me up as tight. They thought they broke me... I guess In a way they did... One night they just forgot to tie me back up when they were through... So after a couple of hours, I got up. I jammed all the doors, any way I could... Found whatever chemicals I could and poured them all over the first floor. I packed a bag and lit a match on my way out... That's how I got my first 4."

"Are you sure they didn't survive? Maybe they got... "

Q cut her off, "No. I waited. I waited until they stopped screaming... I waited until the walkers came."

They both went quiet as Q worked her shirt back on.

She starred off into the distance, "I think that's enough sharing for tonight..."

She stood from the table, "'Night Carol."

As she passed, heading to her room, Carol grabbed her hand. Without looking at each other, she squeezed. Q squeezed back and made her way to her room.

Carol sat there in shock for a minute. Wiping away a tear that forced it's way out. She exhaled deeply, trying to process everything she had just learned.

"How much did you hear?" She asked to the dark kitchen in front of her.

"'Nuff." Daryl grunted as he walked into the light.

"It's worse then I thought... Then we thought." She took a deep breath and stood from the stable. She motioned for Daryl to walk with her outside.

"She's still in there, but after what she's been through..." Carol sighed.

"She can come back. Anyone can that wants to." Daryl said, kicking the dirt in front of him.

"How has she been doing?"

"Still hunts 'em... Less now then at first."

"I heard she ran into you again out in the woods..." Carol raised her eyebrow questioningly at him.

" Ya... She's good." He said with a small grin, "Quick, sometimes too quick. Don't think she suspects anything tho'."

"Keep watching her. Ezikeal is getting concerned that she's not stable enough to be inside the kingdom. Though, she seems happy enough here... "

He nodded, "Well who wouldn't be? You pushin' cookies and booze like that."

She laughed, "Hey it worked didn't it? Most she's said the entire time she's been with me."
"When are you gunna tell her?"

"I need her to get all of this out in the air first. It's weighing her down. She told me about 4... There are at least another 10... "

"15." He said definitively.

"I didn't realize you were keeping THAT close of an eye on her." She joked.

"Stop." He shrugged, "Dunno, just somethin' I have to do."

"Have to? Or want to? Pretty sure I just asked you to make sure she didn't snap on anyone."

He let out a low growl and headed towards the walls of the Kingdom,"'Night."

"Night pookie." She smiled knowingly.

He half waved back at her. Lighting a cigarette for the walk back.

***
As Daryl took the long walk back to the kingdom, his mind was racing.

'Fuck. It was worse then I expected. She was covered... My old man beat me but no one ever... They wouldn't have tried. But damn... She burned it down... Them down...'

'When she took her shirt off I should've said something... If I could've then I would've... But damn...' He thought, remembering her without her shirt...

'Knock it off man.' He took a deep drag... 'After everything she said... How could you? I'm human, I've got fucking eyes.'

He shook his head.

'Don't push it Dixon. If she knew you were there... Well I'd have a few more scars of my own.'
He laughed to himself, the mental image of Carol trying to step in between them if it had come to that...

'Carol. She's protective of Q... I get it... God help Ezikeal if he tries to send her away. He'll have to answer to her... And me.'

Notes

Comments

So... I'm going to delete the TBD Chp# Time to Claim Chapter now that I've posted the next chronological chapter--you'll see it again. SOMEDAY! :D

Thanks for reading and for the feedback! Hope to have the next couple chapters up soon!

@Grimesgirl63

Just started reading your story...really love Q, how Carol and Daryl are at the Kingdom, and the interaction between them all. It is so well written, and I am really enjoying it!

Grimesgirl63 Grimesgirl63
10/27/17

@Loul461
Thanks for reading!! :)

Love it!

Loul461 Loul461
10/7/17