Sheriff - whose name by the way is Rick-ah, not that I care - came to take me a walk. He wanted to talk to me without the others hearing us. He walked me to the main gate. There were Dirty and Chinese dude little farther away from us. I think they were back up but I just pretended that they were Sheriffs gate openers. I was quite sure my little holiday here got a short ending, his going to kick me out. He stops and turns to me.
‘’When you get better, I want you out of here. I can provide you with weapon and vehicle. We have here enough to mouths to feed’’, he says to me. I raise my hands up to surrender sign and let out the air I was holding in. Thanks to all that’s holy, his not going to kick me out yet. I almost fake smile at him but stop it in time.
‘’I get it. I’m not planning to stay. Thou, I really would appreciate it if you would give me something to kill those things’’, I answer to him. At least I’m completely honest. He looks back to prison and then back to me.
‘’And I would appreciate if you didn’t encourage people to come up with funny names to you’’, he says. I’m little taken aback by his tone. I haven’t done anything like that. I haven’t talked to anyone but Oldie today.
‘’What?’’, I ask and then it hits me, ’’They told you about my hippie name, didn’t they?’’ He nods his head and I could swear I see a smile but it goes so fast away I can’t be sure.
‘’They gamble who figures out your real name. In a meanwhile they call you some flower or something’’, he says.
‘’Well, I won’t encourage anyone to guess it, that I can promise. Besides, they will never guess it’’, I say confidently. His nods his head and starts to walk away. I watch him go and huff as I slowly make my journey behind him. Well, that doesn’t sound good, like at all. I watch Sheriff lift his hand to others who also had come out, all smiles and unicorns shitting rainbows. Yeah, I almost threw up. It was the first time I saw all of them properly; few kids, Oldie, chicks, guys and a pregnant lady. You heard me, A Pregnant Lady. Wow, that was huge. Not the lady but seriously, didn’t think I live to see that again. There was little smile forming to my face until I kicked my ankle, hard. Need to stop that kind of behavior from the start. I look at the Chinese Dude and Dirty. They are walking now with Sheriff. I could see them talking. Chinese dude looks to me and I know they are talking about me. All I want to do is stick my tongue at them.
It’s weird how in one moment everything is so peaceful and next it’s total chaos. I was running before I even knew it. There was Z everywhere with the group. Gun shots and shouts echoed in my ears. I catch Sheriff, dude and Dirty. They struggle with the locks. There are prisoners, like in old time prisoners, criminals. This is the first time I see them. I really don’t have time to think it now, so I just concentrate running. When we pass them they start to run with us and yell something after us. But I can’t hear a word. Blood roars in my ears and I can hear my breathing deepen. I am in this mode. This happens every time I have to fight. Finally, when we get to where the Zs are, I grab first thing I can get from the ground and start to smash their heads. When it’s cleared there, is this loud alarm going off. I’m sure every single Z is going to hear that and come running. Sheriff is yelling at inmates, and he looks little angry or I think its anger. I’m not really listening so, I have no idea what’s going on. They shoot at the speakers and then run inside and I just go with the flow.
We kill every Z as we go but I can’t see any of the living. They are looking for the pregnant lady and of course the others too. I have my doubts about this, but this is what group does and I kind of owe them. They saved my ass and gave me good pills. So yeah, I’m in. I’m still lost in my thoughts when a horde attacks us. One came straight at me and I react too slowly. If it weren’t for the one who pulled me from my collar, I could have become new chew toy. It snaps me to moving. I kick the Z to chest and it collides with others. Then I see that there is more than I can take, and they are coming fast. To my luck that someone got still firm grip on my collar and I end up in a closet with him.
‘’Close the door, close the fucking door ’’, someone yells at my ears. I do what I’m told as fast as I can. But they are wicked fast and one gets its hand between frame and the door. It tries to grasp something.
‘’Close it’’, he yells again. I try to push the door as hard as I can. But the hand is blocking it from closing.
‘’Can’t.. need to…. cut the hand’’, I yell back. They are pushing the door harder and harder. I am jammed between the door and the dude. His hands are both sides of my head and I can feel his body heat on my back. It was making me a little claustrophobic.
‘’Knife…. in my belt’’, he huffed in my neck. That makes my neck hairs raise and chills run through my body. I tried to concentrate to finding the knife with my hand. Even that seems to be difficult. Zs were pushing the door and that someone is panting on your neck and I’m quite sure my hand traveled in places it shouldn’t have but luckily and finally, I found the knife and hacked the hand off with it. I was so glad when I heard the lock click shut. I was panting hard and the guy behind was too. Fuck, they are strong. I turned a bit and pressed my hand with the knife to his chest. I was totally on the edge with this physical contact. All my body hairs were standing and I just tried to think that this really shouldn’t be the time to think things like this.
‘’Thanks’’, I said between pants. He put his hand on top of mine and took the knife carefully. I just closed my eyes and bit inside of my cheek.
‘’Hmph’’, he answered and I could feel his breath on top of my head. Loud bang on the door made me flinch away from it, straight to his chest.
‘’Hey, watch it’’, he yelped.
‘’Sorry’’, I said quick and tried to move forward, far, far away from him. It turns out that this is a pretty small closet. I put my hands on the door and I noticed that my whole body was tense. I swallowed and tried to ease my breathing. It’s really long time sense anyone has been even this close to me and not done anything I don’t like them to do. And closets, well, let’s just say I have a history with them. Spend one of them many hours when I younger. Bad memories grab a hold of me with its sticky fingers. My breathing freezes. I can feel lonely tear running down my cheek. It tickles when it gets to my collar bone. I rest my forehead to door. It’s little bit cold and I try to concentrate on that and then the air comes out with a rush.
‘’You okay there?’’, he asks. I open my eyes and see nothing. I press my lips together to hold air in and then slowly release it. I need to get my breathing under control.
‘’Yea’’, it’s as much as I can say without messing with my breathing rhythm. My voice sounds like it doesn’t belong to my. It’s high-pitched and frankly it scares me.
‘’You sure don’t sound like it’’, he says. His voice sounds weird to me. Maybe there’s something wrong with my ears. I don’t get the chance to answer ‘cause there comes knock on the door. It makes the door vibrate under my hands and forehead. That felt funny. I wipe the tear away.
‘’All clear’’, comes shout from outside. I open the door and come out as fast as I can. I almost trip over Z while hurry away. Bubble of anxiety I’ve been bursts and I’m in feeling quite normal. I look back at the closet and see Mr. Dirty come out there. He watches me with furrowed brows. Damn. He sure noticed that something was wrong with me. I hate closets. They always make me go all crazy. We start to move again farther and this time I focus killing the Z and not the thinking. Finally, I get in the mode again. Smashing some heads makes me feel better and I forget the closet thing.
We were running Z at our heels. We barely made it to the machine room. Dirty and Biggie the inmate push the door shut but Z are not making it easy and push in as hard as they can. Sheriff and I look for switch to shut the alarm. There are many buttons and other stuff but none of them made anything to shut the alarm. Believe me I tried them all. Sheriff yells Biggie to help us. When I round the corner I see another inmate with axe. This one I haven’t seen. Before I can say or do anything he attacks Sheriff. I rush to help. I jump his back, but he shakes me off and I go flying to the floor. Getting up I try to attack inmate again but instead of me attacking, I get hard hit on my head by his elbow cause his swinging the axe at Sheriff again. I go flying straight to the machine and bang my head to it. My vision blurred and I feel like barfing. Get up bitch this isn’t a picnic echoes in my head. I breathe in and push myself against the wall. I can deal with this pain. I try to get up and I almost barf to the floor. I hear the inmate yelling to Biggie. I turn my head a little and see Biggie with gun in his hands. Unknown inmate is standing near me. I forced myself to jump on him. At the same time Biggie shoots him. So, I end up lying on top of the dead man. Instead of being covered only in gore - mostly brains or what’s left of it – I’m now also covered in blood. I’m all sticky and slimy, just how I like it. I smirk to myself but it falls as soon as I see Dirty aim knife at Biggie. Biggie still has gun aimed to this direction. For a moment I’m sure he is going to shoot us all. Then he rolls it awkwardly and hands it to Sheriff. Sheriff takes it, and then they rush to shut the generators. And thank God it shuts down. I couldn’t bare the noise any longer. My head feels like its cut in half. I turn my attention to man I’m lying on. Around him was forming blood pool. I lifted my hand from it. Ugh, disgusting. Somebody lifted me off him. It was so unexpected that my body reacts before my mind grasps what’s going on and as soon as my legs touched the ground I flinched away from him. High pitched cry echoes in the room. I fell back to floor, hitting my head - again. I hold my head and look Biggie, who stands near me. He has this look on his face. Look, I have been receiving quite a lot before the fall out. It’s look that says ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’. This might just be the reason I don’t like to be around other people. I stand up and walk away from them. I stare at the wall and try to make my body to calm down. I’m shaking from the inside and squeeze my hands so hard that my nails sink in to my flesh. I need to get out of this place and find a new hellhole to live in. Me and other people just don’t mix, too much touching. I wipe my hands to my pants and shirt to get rid of the blood.
‘’Hey, flower girl, let’s go’’, Sheriff yells at me. It hurts my head like somebody were hitting it. I rub my eyes because they’re hurting too and then smooth my bangs over my eyes.
‘’Okay’’, I yell back even if it hurts like hell. I let air out of my lungs. I can deal with the pain, I chant to myself.
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